Old lady shouted at my child

[Whereisthecoffee]

I was bringing my child back from preschool he was having a strop as his friend wasn’t there so he was upset he hadn’t played with other children. I was dealing with him and finding out what the issue was. An old lady started shouting be good for your mummy! I know she was trying to be helpful but AIBU for being a bit pissed off that she shouted at my child when I was dealing with him ? I’m a firm believer in it takes a village but she didn’t need to interfere when I was there.

Seriously?!

It's not like she called him a little C-word. She's probably hard of hearing and wasn't aware of how loud she was being. She was trying to support you.

Let it go, for crying out loud.

It makes a change from them shouting at the mum tbh, that was always my experience. "Why can't you control your child?" Yeah sorry I must have left the taser at home

OP, I am sure she meant well, don’t be upset about something so insignificant.

Was it because she was old?

That’s fine , I’m more than prepared to be told I’m being unreasonable. Sometimes it’s hard to see past our own emotions when it comes to our children.

be good for your mummy She was on your side!

Sometimes a child in full strop will stop for a complete stranger when poor mum is getting the full brunt. I usually pretend to see a cat up a tree or something to distract a child in full flow (if it looks like it will be helpful, I'm not a crazy cat lady - yet).

Why is her age relevant?

Imagine the reverse: I was out and about today when I tried to show support to a mother struggling with her tantrumming child. She looked so cross. WIBU?

She was just trying to help, I think. It wasn't like she shouted anything nasty to him, or told him he was a bold boy.

How old is old?

Sorry YABU she didn't shout at you child she tried to help

Age isn’t relevant really I suppose I mentioned it as generations do things differently

I think in this case YABU just because it does sound like she was trying to help and be as nice as she could about it. Rather than attacking your child iyswim.

It was probably my mum!!!!! She thinks that any child that isn't smiling and behaving immaculately is being 'naughty'. You're lucky she didn't have her wooden spoon handy otherwise she'd have offered to come and wallop him for you!

I'd have felt the same OP.

Thanks for the replies, he’s very recently started and was upset that he was alone so I suppose I was sensitive emotionally to start with.

I get where you're coming from op.

I hate it when there are too many cheifs.
Like pp says which i also agree with
It does take a village but You were there.
and You were dealing with it. I had the same thing with dd once. She was creating so I was dealing with next second a stranger turns around and says. Be good. To which I give the stare and Then to my dad and say. "Other people shouldn't have to tell you".
The thing is in society You can't win. if you dare to even raise your voice. It's all "Ahhh the way she shouted at that poor child and if you don't chastise them it's all "I know what I'd if it were mine." ect ect.

My sister was throwing a tantrum in a supermarket (30 years ago) and a woman went up to her and said 'be good for your Nanna' to her. My mum was mortified and tells this story a lot when talking about how older parents are more prevalent now- there weren't many 40yr old mums of toddlers then!

Sigh.

I hate casual ageism. At least this thread doesn’t have the usual parade of ageist slurs that similar ones usually do.

Clothrabbit

It wasn't like she shouted anything nasty to him, or told him he was a bold boy.

I'm surprised no-one has asked you what that means 😁 It's only in the last few years that I've realised that Irish people use the word 'bold' in a way that makes no sense to other English-speakers.

It's not like she called him a little C-word

Well, yes, indeed, then you'd really have something to complain about 🤣🤣🤣

I hate it when people feel the need to intervene when you're already managing the situation. I know they're well-meaning but I find it a bit patronising.

I mean no malice in mentioning the ladies age

I get where you’re coming from OP. Age aside, it’s not appropriate for a stranger to take another persons child to task over their behaviour, it was not her place to do so!

Strangers saying things like this often do seem to shock kids into stopping their tantrum. But if you want people to totally ignore your child on any occasion, then complain when they are trying to help.