Old lady shouted at my child

[Whereisthecoffee]

I was bringing my child back from preschool he was having a strop as his friend wasn’t there so he was upset he hadn’t played with other children. I was dealing with him and finding out what the issue was. An old lady started shouting be good for your mummy! I know she was trying to be helpful but AIBU for being a bit pissed off that she shouted at my child when I was dealing with him ? I’m a firm believer in it takes a village but she didn’t need to interfere when I was there.

"35 is my definition of old." Shall I just crawl back into my grave now then.

I can understand a kid of 12 thinking 35 is old maybe even decriept but Not a bloody fully fledged adult.

35 is my definition of oldSee now this really cheers me up because I'm fucking 42 and I've been mistaken for my kids' granny twice now. I thought I was just a bit hackett looking but apparently no I am actually officially old

This is such a non event. It’s daily life.

Is this not the problem these days? In ye olde days when I was a child if I was naughty in a shop I remember being told off by a person in a shop and then my Mum. When I got in trouble at school I was told off by the teacher and then Mum when I got home. When my friend got in trouble for riding my bike with no lights by a passing policeman they got in bother off parents and the policeman. I know he wasn't really being naughty but she didn't really scream at him. She was trying to help but I think part of the reason kids are a nightmare these days is because everyone is so bloody scared to tell them off. Sorry it's all one paragraph. For some reason my return button isn't working!

She was just trying to help you IMO, no harm in children learning that their actions affect everyone. If she'd been mean I'd agree with you, but she wasn't.

She was on your side - I think you are being unreasonable

Pre schoolers are pretty egocentric, it can be a good life lesson to start realising your behaviour is observable by and may impact those around you, including passersby. It's quite a useful bit of social education for him. So while I wouldn't personally interfere in someone's parenting (unless obviously they were harming a child) I wouldn't be too bothered about it either.

Did she really shout though, or just chip in unwanted? if the latter, I agree she probably thought she was being helpful. My mum embarrassingly stops to talk to every random child under 8 when she's out with me.

She was trying to be supportive to you. You say "it takes a village" - this is part of that. Its not just about people helping you out with babysitting. It means them speaking up when your kid is being a pain on your behalf too

The lady probably remembers how she felt when her kids were going through that stage, sounds like she was offering support.

35 is my definition of old. Well, enjoy the rest of your life, Poppy, because you ain't staying any younger! OP, I'm sure she meant well. But it's threads like this that make you realise why so many people are reluctant to intervene when they think something quite serious might be happening.

This is such a non event I can't believe you even bothered to post a thread about it.

35 is your definition of old, Poppy, and your post is most people's definition of GF and a bit stupid to boot.

Was she 103?

As for the "old" lady bit and the "generation differences"- maybe someone from a different ethnic group would also have different ways of intervening/disciplining but we wouldn't want to start accepting thread titles like "black woman shouted at my child" now, would we?

A little old lady waved her walking stick at my 4 year old when he was having a tantrum in a shop the other day. I honestly didn't know how to take it, but ultimately i laughed it off. But wasnt really sure how i felt about it tbh.

She wasn't been rude, op, though of course it wasn't her business. Just try and forget it, the woman meant no harm and she has probably forgotten about it by now.

35 is old, Poppy? That's the most ridiculous comment I've ever read on MN and I've read LOADS.

It's no big deal. Some people think they're being helpful. Take no notice

Poor old thing probably thought she was being supportive,and now she's being made the subject of derision on mumsnet Get a grip op'and stop taking shit so personally.

I don’t think yabu to be a bit pissed off tbh. It is annoying when you’re trying to deal with something and someone, however well intentioned, joins in and invariably makes the situation worse. I remember an incident when my dd fell over in a supermarket getting a nasty bump on her head and was obviously quite distressed when a woman, who obviously hadn’t seen her fall, decided to pipe up with ‘oh dear tantrum time! Don’t be naughty for your mum’. I felt like saying ‘would you just fuck off!’ Some people just think can’t resist putting their 2 pence worth in I think.

It does make me feel more stressed when people stop to help when ds is having a tantrum but I remind myself they are only trying to help and that it's my issue if I feel stressed out. As long as people aren't saying anything judgemental I'd take comments in the supportive light that I'm sure they're meant.

I’m a firm believer in it takes a village. Except when your dc is in there.

It was a shout. A really loud one. I shout sometimes we all do. But it shocked me how loud it was. I accept I’m being unreasonable thoughts why I asked for opinions.