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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think that could’ve just given me the key code?

70 replies

IChangedMyNameBcozIWasHigh · 23/09/2018 22:42

About 3 months ago, we moved into a flat. 3 of us share the garden, All leasehold with the freehold Owned independently. We are ground floor so our kitchen door opens onto the garden. Other flats use a gate at side of garden to get in. It has a key code. DH and I don’t know this code and would like to for fire escape purposes (I have PTSD from being locked in a ship toilet whilst the alarm was sounding)
2 other couples who share garden have the key code. All fine. Everyone could access garden. The 2 other couples are parents of people I went to school with. I had a lot in common with and got on well with.
Today we asked if we could have the key code just in case of a fire as we would need to escape.
Neighbors have refused - saying they all need to meet to decide if I can share access with them.
AIBU to think 4 adults who have all known me since I was 11 could share access in an emergency?

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 23/09/2018 22:44

How ridiculous, you all live there so why should only certain residents get access?
Sounds like sad bastards who need power over others to bring meaning to their small lives.

BanginChoons · 23/09/2018 22:45

That's ridiculous. If you share the garden, you should have the key code. Are you able to get it from the previous owners or will it have been changed?

MrsStrowman · 23/09/2018 22:45

Why do you need a key code to get out, usually they are just for getting in to somewhere, in which case you don't need it as you have direct access?

Havaina · 23/09/2018 22:45

Are you tenants or owners? Have you spoken to landlord or checked deeds?

AjasLipstick · 23/09/2018 22:47

It sounds unsafe so you could contact the previous owners and ask them for it or ask the council health and safety about the legality of the situation.

HungryWomble · 23/09/2018 22:48

Does it have a keypad on both sides? Normally they have a twisty thing on one side so you’d be able to exit without the key?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/09/2018 22:49

Perhaps they’re just being over cautious. Give them a week or two and then chase it up.

SaucyJack · 23/09/2018 22:52

It’s a petty power game. There’s absolutely nothing whatsoever for them to be cautious about- seeing as you can access the garden from your own kitchen.

NonaGrey · 23/09/2018 22:52

If you are tenants just contact the landlord for the code.

If you are owners the previous owners should have given it to you.

TooTrueToBeGood · 23/09/2018 22:55

You've got access to the garden though, through your kitchen door . Why do you need the code to their gate?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 23/09/2018 22:58

Lots of fire brigades will arrange free fire safety checks. Could you arrange one of them to visit, ask them if it would be a good idea for you to have the code and then (assuming thry say yes) tell the others that the fire brigade have recommended it? Might carry more weight, particularly as although nothing is likely to go wrong, if it did then they would have gone against fire safety advice.

Chouetted · 23/09/2018 23:00

Surely for fire safety you should be able to get out without a code?

sahknowme · 23/09/2018 23:01

They'll give it to you. Probably they were just caught off guard and worried they weren't meant to give it out.

Move2WY · 23/09/2018 23:01

Shrely you can exit the garden through the gate without using the keycode though? It can’t be a 2 way key code can it? I understand one going in but usually to exit you just push a button. Can’t you just do that?

Either way yes they are douchebags and should just give you the code. It makes no difference to them how you access the garden!

Original poster
IChangedMyNameBcozIWasHigh · 23/09/2018 23:11

Hi sorry for clarity, you need the code to get out too, it’s double sided. (Apparently so people can’t climb in and let themselves out with plants and gnomes and gardening equipment eg trowels and lawnmowers

I wouldn’t mind if I was just getting to know them or whatever but I was at primary and secondary with one couples DC and we were both in secondary with the other couples - it just seems barmy. It’s a “naice” area to coin a mumsnet phrase. It’s not a crime hotspot- will get onto agents and former owner and maybe look at freeholder and lease for advice! Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
IChangedMyNameBcozIWasHigh · 23/09/2018 23:13

Sorry for clarity. We are owners. Leasehold.

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 23/09/2018 23:15

I don’t understand why giving you a second access point to your shared garden would be an issue for them. You need an explanation as to why this gate is only for them. Who pays for its mainentance?

Beesandfrogsandfleas · 23/09/2018 23:16

It is reasonable for them to consult the other people involved. They haven't said no. Probably drummed in that they aren't to give it out to anyone! If you know the code, will you start using the gate?

Dollymixture22 · 23/09/2018 23:16

Ask your solicitor 0, they should have flagged up any funnies about the garden when you purchased the flat

AjasLipstick · 24/09/2018 00:36

Bees probably has it. They've just had it hammered home that no access can be given out without the others agreeing. Maybe someone in the past gave it to a casual partner who then smoked out there or something.

Dollymixture22 · 24/09/2018 01:06

I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t have access and why you would have to rely on the goodwill of people hers for the code. If it is indeed a communal space then you should have been given the code by the previous owners

theworldistoosmall · 24/09/2018 01:19

I would just ask them what the secrecy is about considering you can already get into the garden via your kitchen door.
Now because of their secrecy, I would be doing a lot of digging to see if it's really a shared garden or them just being cheeky.

Original poster
IChangedMyNameBcozIWasHigh · 24/09/2018 06:57

Bees for clarity. I asked when they were all in the garden. I don’t know who else they’d consult?

OP posts:
DriftingLeaves · 24/09/2018 07:01

Buy a big axe and put it beside the gate and tell them it's so you can get out. They may let you have the code then. Or contact the fire brigade for advice.

MissusGeneHunt · 24/09/2018 07:02

What happens if your kitchen was on fire and your access to the garden was blocked? YANBU. Get the key code!