Aibu to think that could’ve just given me the key code?

[IChangedMyNameBcozIWasHigh]

About 3 months ago, we moved into a flat. 3 of us share the garden, All leasehold with the freehold Owned independently. We are ground floor so our kitchen door opens onto the garden. Other flats use a gate at side of garden to get in. It has a key code. DH and I don’t know this code and would like to for fire escape purposes (I have PTSD from being locked in a ship toilet whilst the alarm was sounding)
2 other couples who share garden have the key code. All fine. Everyone could access garden. The 2 other couples are parents of people I went to school with. I had a lot in common with and got on well with.
Today we asked if we could have the key code just in case of a fire as we would need to escape.
Neighbors have refused - saying they all need to meet to decide if I can share access with them.
AIBU to think 4 adults who have all known me since I was 11 could share access in an emergency?

Surely if you bought you ask your solicitor to get it from the previous owner or who owns the freehold. If you rent get it from the landlord

Does the lease you've bought actually grant you a right of way over the access. To check it will probably be set out in the rights granted section in a schedule to the lease. If it does, explian that and ask again for the code.

if not you are reliant on their goodwill.

So in the event of a fire in your flat you could get into the garden but would then be stuck in it? That's not safe.

It will simply that they all agreed that the code was only going to given out when they all agree to it.

Sounds sensible and someone just following the agreement.

Not the point, I know, but most gardens don't have a gate as a fire exit. Gardens of terraced houses (for example) often join the two side neighbours and a back neighbour.

In the very unlikely event of a fire in your flat or garden, go out the front door. Or jump the fence.

That's weird when you can already access the garden from your door!

I would be getting your documents out and making sure that it is a shared garden!

I would guess that in the past the code has been given to someone who abused it, there was a huge row about giving out the code and they only started speaking to each other when they agreed no one could give out the code unless they all agreed.

The safety issue is a red herring. Most people don’t have multiple exits from their garden. But it’s mad that you don’t have the code - you have as much right as they do.

@MartagonLilies how patronising! OP has said she had PTSD - what makes you think she isn't getting treatment?

Does the path leading to the gate belong to the other flats? Or it is the responsibility of all of you or is it public land? This might be a reason

If you don't have right of way to cross the land on the other side of the gate they will be wise not to give it to you, others can later say they are also entitled. Look at your documents, ask solicitor who did your conveyancing. Your garden appears to be shared, but their access may not be.

Do you actually own a part of the garden and the gate? If yes then you should have access. If they still won't give it to you I might be tempted to pay for a new key code thingy and wait till they ask you for the new code.
But then I have shitty neighbours so wouldn't feel bad about being a twat myself.

@MartagonLilies

You’re doubting the OP has the serious mental health condition she says she has?

Not cool. At all.

No, actually I didn't at any point say the OP was lying. Try rereading my actual post. It is a serious mental health condition, bought on by extreme distressing situations. The results from this are life consuming.

Martagon Lots of things can trigger PTSD - giving birth, for example. Your interpretation of an "extreme situation" suggests that someone's experience has to be sufficiently bad before their diagnosis could qualify as PTSD - which isn't the case. One person's "extreme experience" could be another's simple "bad day but I'll move on from it".

I'm not sure why the OP has to justify her PTSD?

OP you should have access to that code. For fire safety. I can't believe how petty people are.

OP - keep making that fire route point, loudly!

They won't have thought about it and should see sense. You should clarify this with your solicitor too. The Freeholder should have given that information over when you bought the property:

a) you have access to the garden, the gate is part of the garden
b) it would form part of your emergency exit

Contact the solicitor you used to purchase the property. The key code and the practice of changing it and updating it should have been disclosed by the seller, and be in the lease terms. That key code should be given out, to you, and you probably have the right to remove the lock, if it isn't. If there is a right to use the land, and a right to enclose the land, you'll have a right to use the access point too.

Margaton, as someone with severe PTSD who has come across so many people recently saying that they have it, when they had a bad experience that has left them feeling a bit nervous about something, I see where you are coming from. However, as the OP hasn't really gone into how it effects her, I don't think we should really question it at this stage, as it can be seen as a bit dismissive. I really do see where you are coming from though - it makes me very sad to see how people use serious mental health conditions so easily, without a diagnosis. I think OCD is one of the worst for this, and anxiety. It minimises it for real sufferers. I'm not saying OP is doing this at all, by the way - just pointing out why people may feel the way they do.

I didn't ask her to justify at all. A traumatic situation that causes some deeply unpleasant aftermath, and PTSD symptoms are worlds apart. I'm not disputing her experience at all.
The difference is in the symptoms, not the cause. PTSD sufferers generally have a terrible time getting through day to day life.

Professor exactly my point.

Hi yes I have PTSD is from a couple of traumatic events - one being the locked in thing (pointed out because actually I find being enclosed and not having an escape plan really traumatic) I’ve been an inpatient and checking has previously taken over my life, with secondary side effects including nightmares, panic attacks whilst driving, suicide attempts hideous OCD, barely leaving my house for six months. I’m doing much much better now but it’s still there, I pointed MY Mh out in my op because my neighbors have known me a long long time. They know I’ve been very unwell And that access and escape is a trigger.
Anyway I was just a grump last night, I’ll have a proper look at access etc soon!

Your neighbours are being ridiculous, OP. I don't understand what the problem is - you have access to the garden anyway, so it doesn't change a thing. What if you need to take bins out? Do they expect you to drag them through your house?

Thanks for clarifying OP. Know that I wasn't asking you to explain (as I previously stated)