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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I will get together with the guy I'm crushing on?!

107 replies

EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 19:00

Please give me hope. Did you fancy someone and get together with them? I've got closer and closer to a colleague over the past couple of months and am totally smitten. I'm scared by how attracted to him I feel. And that's making me scared that we might not ever actually get together. Did you ever get with your crush? Just the happy stories please. I have the blues...

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DarthLipgloss · 23/09/2018 21:24

@EleanorLoves he made me feel like I was 17, but in a good way and still does. I hope it works out for you.

forthelifeofpomme · 23/09/2018 21:29

I got together with a crush once... and it was the Worst Sex Ever. Crush stopped there and then and I never looked back!

EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 21:40

Thanks DarthLipgloss. Fingers crossed!

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EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 21:41

Oh no forthelifeofpomme!! I have convinced myself that this will be the Best Sex Ever 🤣

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FrogsSpawnofSanta · 23/09/2018 22:24

@Eleanorloves he said he did but if I hadn't spoken up then he would never have approached me, he is quite shy and tends to think women aren't interested in him. I knew if I didn't say something then I would regret it. I had to know one way or another. It was nerve wracking though.

MrsNacho · 23/09/2018 22:30

It's all very exciting but I think you are too focused on him. You say you are in Love but you haven't spent any real time together. The man you are at work is only one version of himself. You know nothing about him. Just slow down and take a step back, I can see you getting hurt here!

EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 22:30

Well done FrogsSpawnofSanta for grabbing the bull by the horns, so to speak.

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EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 22:32

MrsNacho, I see what you're saying. But we have worked alone together on several projects. Many of which have been long into the evening to meet client deadlines, and we have spoken about everything under the sun!

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Sparklesocks · 23/09/2018 22:34

Maybe! It’s possible. However some people can just do a bit of flirting at work because it’s fun and passes the time, and don’t necessarily have any intentions to go any further than that.
By all means enjoy it (crushes are fun!) and try and spend more time one on one, but just remember that he might not be into it in the same way you are.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 23/09/2018 22:52

I don’t understand, if he is leaving anyway, what does it matter? You seem to be out of the office quite a bit, I’m sure he could remain professional in work if you at least went out for a drink?

I agree with all this so I'm not sure why this man isn't asking Eleanor out. At least for a coffee.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 23/09/2018 23:01

I had a crush on someone for 7 years.

Finally got the moment and we slept together, was a very quick one night stand and my virginity... He was 11 years older, i was just 17
Didnt fancy him anymore after that.
Dont regret it though

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 23/09/2018 23:08

I married mine Grin my boss at the time, we told head office and both moved departments, 12 years on and 3 children later!
He’s leaving work, there is no way you can carry on like this for another 2 months, just text him in the morning and ask him out for lunch on Thursday. Honestly what’s the worst he could say?

EleanorLoves · 24/09/2018 09:55

I'm loving hearing your stories. I would love to ask him out but we work so closely together that if he said no it would just be excruciating. I'm preferring working on him, trying to get under his skin, hoping he's falling in love with me too. And then say something at the end.

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SheRaTheAllPowerful · 24/09/2018 10:43

I think you need to know, just ask him for a coffee?

Loopytiles · 24/09/2018 11:46

Don’t waste 2 more months on this, just ask him if he’d be interested in a date after he leaves.

Mikethenight2good · 24/09/2018 11:53

Just ask him out for a drink. Nothing to lose.....

I did mine. Genuinely thought he would laugh in my face...but he didn't. I did hold him up quite highly but reality hits and you realise they are like any other bloke. I like him enough to potentially sleep with him but I don't feel so giddy like when i first asked him out.

Loopytiles · 24/09/2018 12:06

The “love” stuff is totally OTT for a work crush.

delphguelph · 24/09/2018 12:12

Did you do the calf test yet?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 24/09/2018 12:18

I think you need to actively do something about it rather than waiting to see if he falls for you because you could end up wasting your time if he doesn't feel the same or he could be a let down. Don't be full on though, just maybe up the flirting and ask to meet for a coffee, or message him out of work and tell him you fancy him.

lilyheather1 · 24/09/2018 12:36

Trying to make someone fall for you is just going to make it so much worse for you in the long run if they don't. Pull up your big girl pants and just ask him out! Smile

HollowTalk · 24/09/2018 12:38

I disagree - I would just wait and see what happens, difficult though that is. If he wants to go out with you, he will ask you. He's already told you about asking out his previous girlfriend. It's not as though you're a complete stranger - you talk all the time and he will have an idea of whether he wants to go out with you. Just wait.

EleanorLoves · 24/09/2018 19:12

delphguelph we haven't had drinks yet so haven't been able to do the test. Maybe this week!

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EleanorLoves · 24/09/2018 19:13

I know Loopytiles, it was brief insanity. I'm back to my normal sane self today.

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EleanorLoves · 24/09/2018 19:15

HollowTalk, I think you are right. Patience is key. And it means we have time to develop a deeper foundation so if something happens it stands a better chance. Although we have chatted loads, I don't feel stuck in the friendzone fortunately.

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shartsi · 24/09/2018 19:26

Yes me and DH crushed on each other from day one at work. However we both confessed our crushes within days, so there wasn't any drawn out angst

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