Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I will get together with the guy I'm crushing on?!

107 replies

EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 19:00

Please give me hope. Did you fancy someone and get together with them? I've got closer and closer to a colleague over the past couple of months and am totally smitten. I'm scared by how attracted to him I feel. And that's making me scared that we might not ever actually get together. Did you ever get with your crush? Just the happy stories please. I have the blues...

OP posts:
1unhappymum · 23/09/2018 20:19

I don’t understand, if he is leaving anyway, what does it matter? You seem to be out of the office quite a bit, I’m sure he could remain professional in work if you at least went out for a drink?

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:20

HollowTalk, I could have a think. I'm just worried that it would be so obvious that I'm asking him out on a date and if he doesn't like me and feels he has to let me down gently then it will be so embarrassing working with him until he leaves!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:21

That's so cute gonnaenodaethat1!!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:22

There are various work drinks on 1unhappymum but unfortunately we have only managed to be at the same drinks once! Although that time was very nice and he drove me home (he wasn't drinking obviously).

OP posts:
gonnaenodaethat1 · 23/09/2018 20:24

@EleanorLoves aw thank you! He's well worth the solid month I had racked up travelling by the time we moved in together!

0rlaith · 23/09/2018 20:24

Just ask out for a coffee at lunchtime or a drink after work . The worst that can happen is he says no.

TeddybearBaby · 23/09/2018 20:25

I love this video about rejection..... not sure if will help you / give you inspiration but it does me whenever I’m fearful / scared to take a chance.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=w8JopEnIuEQ

1unhappymum · 23/09/2018 20:26

So ask him does he fancy a coffee/drink/ something to eat and see what he says? He can only say no and then you know. If you have his details, think of a reason to text him and see what his response is like. If it’s open then progress the conversation. If it’s closed, then again, you know.

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:27

0rlaith, he has already told me that he's against work relationships. He asked his last girlfriend out the day after he left that particular job. I think he's quite old school like that. He takes work very seriously.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 23/09/2018 20:32

Haven't you posted about this man before, OP? I have definitely read your last post before.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 23/09/2018 20:34

@eleanorloves he was glad I made the first move although insists if I hadn't he would've finally plucked up the courage. Knowing him as I do now I think I could have waited years for that to happen. I waited for an after works drinks thing to make my move, as it were, and we spent most of the night chatting. I had some Dutch courage so ended up just blurting out "you know I like you right?!" It wasn't anything romantic or a story for our children but he did have the biggest grin on his face when I said it. From then on we didn't have dates as such just went out a couple of times, nothing fruity, just to see if the reality was as good as it could be in our heads. It just evolved from there really. We never went on lunch together at work or chatted much there, which in hindsight I think is a good thing. I was shit scared of rejection (like you I had been in a long term relationship) but pleased I did it. I'm excited for you!

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 23/09/2018 20:40

I've had short flings with men I've been initially attracted to, but if it's only attraction, it won't last. Personality and things in common is much more important along with the attraction of course. I've found with my partner, I fancied him at first and there was a spark, but his personality and everything else has made me fancy him so much more and it grows more and more.
There needs to be more to it than physical attraction for it to lead to something more meaningful.

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:41

That video was really good TeddybearBaby. I will definitely tell him how I feel by the time he leaves if nothing has happened in the meantime.

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:41

Yes I have HollowTalk!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:43

I love your story DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews!

OP posts:
TeddybearBaby · 23/09/2018 20:43

Good luck 😘💐

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:44

Oh definitely Chocolatecoffeeaddict! Although I've only really known him a short while, he's like a best friend whose clothes I want to rip off!!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 20:44

Thanks TeddybearBaby

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 23/09/2018 21:00

You need to go for it then OP.That kind of thing is hard to find for sure.

DarthLipgloss · 23/09/2018 21:01

@EleanorLoves, he made an excuse to add me on Facebook and we started messaging all the time, but we were both sort of holding back and cautious as we worked together and he had recently separated from a long and abusive relationship.
Then we went on a work night out and spent the whole evening together and we were a thing from then on.
He is my best friend and i have never been happier. We don't work together any more tho.

DarthLipgloss · 23/09/2018 21:03

@EleanorLoves we also have the clothes ripping off aa well as the best friends :)

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 21:04

Yes Chocolatecoffeeaddict, it certainly feels special from my side. Who knows how he feels!

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 21:06

DarthLipgloss, I'm so happy for you. When I was 16 and had such strong emotions I never imagined that my 41 year old self would be feeling the same all over again. It's amazing how love gets us in any decade!

OP posts:
MeOldBamboo · 23/09/2018 21:11

Sounds like you need to be at his leaving do! Good luck!!

Original poster
EleanorLoves · 23/09/2018 21:14

I definitely will be MeOldBamboo! In fact, I will probably be the one organising it!

OP posts: