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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put my son in leggings with kisses on them?

326 replies

changedmyusername6 · 23/09/2018 17:00

The comments today have included:

"Oh X I normally love what you put him in but those make him look so camp" (camp??? I was shocked)

"Are those your DD's?"

"They're so feminine, he looks like a little girl with short hair"

AIBU to think it's ridiculous? He's not in a dress and tights.

OP posts:
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8
KatherinaMinola · 23/09/2018 18:39

I wouldn't put any child in those. They're hideous, sorry.

Sleephead1 · 23/09/2018 18:42

and op I've got pink t shirts in mulipacks from t boy section in Sainsburys it's fairly common. I'm surprised people havnt seen that.

Angrybird345 · 23/09/2018 18:43

They are for girls, not boys. Sadly the reality is he could get teased. Think twice about what you buy.

changedmyusername6 · 23/09/2018 18:43

Definitely don't pick his clothes as a statement. He has lots of blue and whatever other colours.

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 23/09/2018 18:50

I regularly put DS 3 to bed in one of his big sister's nighties or pj's!

MrsStrowman · 23/09/2018 18:51

Pink top fine, those leggings horrible for any child. SIL said I must have known we were having a boy before we did because I didn't buy anything pink and sparkly , but did buy some primary colours and things with dinosaurs and a pair of dungarees, I would've dressed a girl in them too. I'm not into pink for girl blue for boys, but that print is tacky and will attract comments.

MintyJones · 23/09/2018 18:52

Are you trying to make some sort of point? But no I wouldn't put a 4 year old boy in them

pitapizzapie · 23/09/2018 18:53

Yabu, kisses clearly will make his balls call off.

Have you seen "let clothes be clothes"?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/09/2018 18:54

I don’t see a problem with a pastel pink Tshirt as such- but the leggings- leggings tend to be more feminine combined with the pink lips, it’s very girly. I wouldn’t bully a son of mine out of it were they his choice but then I probably wouldn’t have bought them in the first place.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 23/09/2018 18:57

I wouldn't go out of my way to buy girls clothes for my baby son but he has worn some of his sister's hand me downs, a pink cardigan, tights under his trousers and pink babygros for bed. He had a pair of pink stripey leggings that were his older sister's that were so warm and cosy looking I didn't want to waste them. He wore them out and about in his pram and at home but not at playgroup as I couldn't be bothered with the comments.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/09/2018 19:01

Didn't boys used to wear pink and girls blue until coco chanel or someone wore a pink suit and fashion changed? That's all it is - fashion. It's not a rule. Even if people think he's a girl so what. It's possible to speak to a kid directly without showing you think they're a boy or a girl anyway

Personally I think it looks cute. I have girls and I dress them in things from the boys and girls sections. This week I bought one a blue dress with hearts on and a boys navy hoodie with a rainbow on. If I had boys I like to think I'd do the same

bridgetreilly · 23/09/2018 19:02

I would not put those on girls or boys, tbh. What a weird pattern to use for children's clothes.

fieryginger · 23/09/2018 19:03

I wouldn't comment if it was negative, to a friend. You are asking our opinion. I'm kind of torn on this one, he does look super cute, but the leggings are very feminine. A pink t shirt with jeans is fine, the green leggings are fine - both together with the pink kisses is very "girly". He does look adorable though.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/09/2018 19:07

If parents want to make a point with their kids clothing then why can't they. When the point is that clothes don't define you and you can dress in what you want - what is wrong with that message? If they were being bullied and they continued to put them in those clothes then it would be a different story, but kids that have no preference over their clothes are probably too young to care what anyone else is wearing.

Plenty of people make a statement with their kids clothes - branded, mini sports kits, slogans, band t shirts etc etc and no one bats an eyelid but when you wear the wrong 'gender' clothes everyone thinks you're trying to force your opinion on the child

wejammin · 23/09/2018 19:08

OP, just ignore the comments. I have one of each sex, and the girl (4) likes to wear buttoned shirts and her brother's hand me downs, whilst the boy (6) loves sequins and my little pony. Entirely their choice, I have always tried to buy neutral clothes but that's how their preferences have developed.

They've both had comments at times (my mum is convinced DD is going to be transgender 🙄), and both know that some people are narrow minded and that "colours are for everyone".

ProfessorMoody · 23/09/2018 19:19

Gosh, OP. Please ignore most of the comments on this thread - boys can wear anything. Girls can wear anything. It's just a piece of material sewn together. Colours are not gendered. The leggings are fab.

My DS is 10 and will buy tops from the "girls" section because he likes them. He wears stuff with unicorns, kittens, glitter and pink because he wants to. No one has ever "ripped the piss" out of him like someone has said.

Also, I'm a teacher and 4 year olds don't "rip the piss" out of each other because they really couldn't care less what another child is wearing.

puzzledlady · 23/09/2018 19:20

I wouldn’t put those on my son but that’s my choice - I find paired with a pink shirt quite feminine. You dress your son how you want to OP.

gamerwidow · 23/09/2018 19:22

I think if he doesn’t care and you like them what’s the problem. If my DD is any indication you’ll soon hear about it if he doesn’t like them.

AnoukSpirit · 23/09/2018 19:43

How outrageous of you, op, to decline to dress your child according to the male uniform he must wear for the rest of his life.

shock factor

If a male child wearing pink shocks you then there is something very seriously wrong with you.

So many of the posts on this thread are extremely depressing and lacking in any kind of critical thought process. The rules that pink, sparkly supposedly feminine things like flowers are for girls, and blue, dull, supposedly masculine things like cars are for boys, are both fashions in our culture. Nothing more. They're not universal rules across all cultures and all times. Pink used to be considered a boy's colour, and blue for girls.

In much the same way that white used to be a colour worn at funerals, and only became fashionable as a colour for wedding dresses after queen Victoria.

They are our culture's current fashions, underwritten by sexism and homophobia. Everybody who defends those stereotypes and attacks people prepared to live outside them, bears responsibility for how hard life can be for people who don't fit into those boxes. You create an environment where bullying and ostracising people who are gay is normalised and accepted.

Clothing should never be the difference between people accepting and respecting you, or mistreating and excluding you.

The clothes you wear don't make you gay or straight. They don't make you male or female.

If you think they do and you also think it's ok to force those expectations on your own children or other people - whether by silently judging or openly criticising - then you are the one with a very damaging problem and you need to go away and take a good look at yourself.

ProfessorMoody · 23/09/2018 19:44

@AnoukSpirit - Fantastic post.

batshitebather · 23/09/2018 19:47

Love leggings for my 4 yr old DS, he’s comfy, they stay up & easy for him to go to the toilet alone.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 23/09/2018 19:48

Tbh at four my sons clothes often came from the ‘girls section’ of Asda as he wanted characters not in the boys section. I was never too fussed and neither was he as for us clothes were just to keep him warm and it was his choice what he wore.
At seven though I don’t think he’d do the same.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 23/09/2018 19:50

At four though my son got mistaken for a girl whatever he wore and I remember one person I corrected three times and they still called him she.

londonfeather · 23/09/2018 19:51

Love the outfit! People are so redicilous

MaisyPops · 23/09/2018 19:51

wejammin
And that's great because your children have chosen those clothes.

The point most people are making is that it's a bit disingenuous for a parent to decide to dress their child in line with the opposite gender stereotype and then claim they're totally unaware that it could possibly be gendered at all. In those situations the parent is trying to make a statement about themselves as it has nothing to do with the child's preferences.

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