Pressure to BF from DH

[coffeeforone]

I'm 40 weeks pregnant with DS2.

With DS1 I had a really hard time establishing breastfeeding, hated every second and gave up after 6 weeks for my own sanity. As soon as I switched I was so much happier and I never looked back. My only regret was not stopping earlier and the main reason I didn't was the immense pressure from HCPs and my DH to continue.

Throughout this pregnancy DH and I have agreed that we will give BF a quick shot, but at the first sign of trouble or if I'm not happy we can switch to formula, even if it's in the first few days.

However, I was just showing DH the contents of my hospital and he is shocked that I've packed a formula starter pack. He now says that he think I should breastfeed DS2 for 6 weeks like we did with DS1, to 'keep it fair'. He thinks we should remove the formula as it will be 'too tempting'. AIBU to refuse to take out the starter pack from the hospital bag?

I had a terrible time with ds1 it was awful. I didn’t have much hope for ds2 who is now 10 weeks but to my huge surprise it was so easy. His latch was wonderful and he fed beautifully. It actually was a very healing experience to nurse him. That lasted for about 2 weeks. Then the problems started, mastitis, thrush, infections, reflux and allergies. I was on my knees. I said to my dh that I’m so sorry I can’t keep doing this and he was amazing and supportive. Feed your baby in whatever way works. As you say give it a no pressure shot you might be surprised how easy it is. Or not, then move on. Best of luck

OP good luck with it. I know lots of people who struggled firat time and found it easoer second so you may be fine. Your body, your choice though.

Lethaldrizzle the bottle feeding parents want the best for their child too what an ignorant thing to say. There are studies that link breatsfeeding ro all kinds of postive healrh outxomes not just weight but there are also studies showing links between mothers mental health and outcomes for the children so the mother should weigh up the two.

but your spouse also has the right to be angry you are setting up to fail

No he doesn't have that right. He is best placed to know how hard it was for his wife first time round so he of all people should be supporting her.

Hell this is bloody awful. I told my DH when I had our baby "they are my breasts and I decide what to do with them!!!!!!!!" (So do fuck off!!!)

You do what is right for you. It is your body, so it is your decision. Nobody else has the right to an opinion, and that includes your DH.

For what it may be worth, none of my three were breastfed. All were exclusively formula fed. My only regret about breastfeeding was that I ever allowed myself to be pressured into trying it with DD1. It completely wrecked the first few days with her and showed me that my gut instinct not to bother with it had been right. I gave up when DD1 was 4 days old and it was the best decision ever.

Clearly in the eyes of some here that makes me a dreadful parent who didn't want the best for my children. I honestly couldn't give a shit.