Lesbians would never fancy straight women?

[autumndel]

My friend is gay and we were having a convo about our love life etc.
She admitted to having a crush on a woman who was straight and still fancy's her.
Do you think this is odd? Surely if she knows she's straight what's the point?
I didn't say anything I just kinda laughed it off.

She may be straight. So is spaghetti until it gets wet.

I fancy straight women. I am a (mainly) straight woman in a very long term relationship. I also fancy straight men, gay men, gay women, dead men... there's no point to a crush, it's just someone you fancy.

Haahhpy

Tom Daley. That’s all.

I'm a straight, happily-married woman and I have fancied at least two women I knew to be gay, and both of whom were equally happily coupled-up. I find that a lot more comprehensible than fancying Alan Shearer, to be honest.

I think there's no issue as long as she doesn't make the straight woman feel uncomfortable by telling her. If it's just a crush that she knows isn't going to go anywhere, what's the harm?

I have in the past been attracted to unavailable men. I didn't tell the man involved, so how would it be a big deal??

YABU and ridiculous and actually how dare you question your friends real experience because you think you know better despite never having experienced being a lesbian?

People have crushes on celebrities, how is that any less pointless than lesbians having a crush on a straight woman?

I’m a lesbian and have had plenty of crushes on straight girls and even (horror of horrors I’m sure) on straight celebrities!

Even if you fancy someone of the right sexuality who is single and lives locally, it may still be pointless as they may just not fancy you back!

You don't just stop fancying someone because they're unavailable/unattainable. It's not like turning a tap off for many people, if it is for you, OP, the great. Most of us it takes time to work through our feelings.

I get it OP. I have never, and could never fancy a gay man in my life. Just knowing he's gay would end the crush. But I think it's weird to have crushes on famous people too. And, erm, dinasours.
I think to a great extent you do choose who you fancy.

I fancy colin firth. He wouldn't look at me twice doesnt stop me fancying him.

You mean you dont remember Craig falling in love with Anthony on BB?! Season 6 was it?

I don't think there's a point, you can't control who you find attractive. However, I kind of get what you mean. I have never fancied a gay man, sure there's attractive gay men, but I think the fact they are gay stops me fancying them, probably because I know subconsciously they are off limits. Even if they are an off limits celebrity, it kind of kills the fantasy knowing they are gay and that the attraction would never be mutual on the tiny chance that you would ever meet.

Wendy Cope wrote a lovely short poem about being in love with A.E. Housman - who was gay - "and he's been dead since 1936." It's called "Another unfortunate choice." Happens to us all.

I can kinda see where you’re coming from maybe if I squint and close one eye (with the concept- not with Alan) for you sexual orientation is your line. It’s like I fancied this guy until I had lunch with him and realised he was a prat. He’s still a magnificent specimen of the male species but just doesn’t do it for me. I suppose every one has their line. Yours is sexual orientation. So that’s not unreasonable. What’s mental is thinking everyone has the same line. Hell I didn’t let my own sexual orientation stop me from fancying the delta safety air hostess (deltalina I think) so a little thing like their sexual orientation wouldn’t stop me

I know one lesbian who almost exclusively only fancies straight women and actively targets them for relationships, getting a thrill out of “turning them”. But that’s beside the point!

Plenty of people, myself included, are sexually attracted to people that for whatever reason will not or cannot reciprocate. There is nothing wrong with that or weird about it. You cannot choose who you feel physically attracted to.

I feel physically attracted to a man whose personality I cannot stand! It’s happened many times to me, one of life’s great mysteries.

To think gay people will only ever fancy other gay people and straight people will only ever fancy straight people isn’t very logical. It’s just not how humans are biologically wired.

There is a huge difference between desire and intent too.

It’s wrong for a person to try and force themselves upon someone else with no regard for their circumstances or, in this case sexuality. It’s not wrong to quietly have a little crush on someone and never do anything about it because you know it isn’t possible to have a relationship with that person.

I once had a crush on a tv character. It was a cartoon.

I don’t know why the OP is getting so much flack on here. I could never maintain a crush on a gay man, once I knew he was gay. That’s me being honest. I think loads of women are beautiful in so many ways, but I can honestly say I’ve never come anywhere near having a crush on a woman in my life. Come to think of it, I don’t fancy probably 90% of men either.

Maybe some people, like the OP are just more specific about who they fancy - and that’s fine too surely?

Haha is this post actually serious???

When I was a child the first person I fancied was John Smith from Pocahontas, he is a Disney cartoon character!

Maybe it's because I didn't know this guy well when I found out he was gay where she knows the woman's personality.
I do get it now when thinking logically

I get what you mean. Even though I know that there are many man I fancy who would never look at me (Usain Bolt, for example), there is something in it that the chance is still there as they like women. While if the crush turned out to be gay, then there would be no chance at all in any circumstances, so the crush disappears. I think I need that little bit of hope to fancy someone.

Just look at all the trouble Alan Shearer has caused. He should just stay off these threads and keep his opinions to himself.

I've had lots of women ask me out and I'm straight I even had to block one women when I was online dating because she wouldn't stop harassing me(she was as bad as some of the sleezy men on there)and I'm straight and always have been.

I agree with the PP's you can't help who you find attractive!

Basically, OP, what everyone (or the majority) is saying is yes, YABU.

It depends what's meant by 'fancying' someone, I think. Do you simply mean that you have a crush on them, like on a celebrity (I have a crush on the tennis player Rafa Nadal), which is just harmless fun)? Or do you mean that you fancy someone you're very friendly with IRL, whether gay or straight who you might embarrass yourself with, especially if they're already attached? The latter isn't at all appropriate and you should take steps to avoid them.

You can't help how you feel, but you can control what you do about it.

Isn't part of the fun of a crush knowing that they are unavailable? (Either because they are gay, spoken for, dead or living in completely different worlds)