To think I’m sat on a train opposite the twattist mum ever!!!

[Pumkinfailure]

Child is 3
Mum very loudly asking her to explain the elements that make up nitrous oxide. Child looks blank. ‘Come along darling, you know your elements. Ox.......ox....y......gen! Well done darling.’ 3 year old still hasn’t spoken.
Now darling let’s do some reading, shall we read lord of the rlord nhs, you do love that don’t you’
Would you like a coconut and peanut raw ball, we don’t want to eat too much because remember darling bed time is 6.30 after cuddles.
We are now doing maths, 44-13? Loudly.
I’ve been on this train 7 minutes. God help me!!!?

Elements in nitrous oxide. FFS she should know, it sounds like she's still puffing on it three years after she gave birth

bonkers reverse snobbery to think that discussing difficult subjects with them in an age-appropriate way is somehow by definition 'performance parenting'.

Thanks so much for this. I have many conversations in public and private with DD for which I’m sure, judging by this thread, I’d be thought of as performance parenting. We talk politics, art, economics, history, you name it, we cover it. (We also talk about poo and unicorns, and a lot about unicorn poo.). When she asks a question, we answer it. If there are words she doesn’t understand, she asks us what they mean. We’ll check to see if she’s understood and if she just doesn’t grasp it we revert to “there’s a team of highly trained pixies”

I’m a stickler for inside voices so I can only hope I’ve never been judged a PP, but I do think it is worth noting, some people just do speak loudly!

I'd like to try raw balls.

That sounds wrong.

Omg I eye rolled reading this
How annoying is she

Yes yabbers most of us have done that/do this. But the difference is your DC is interested in these things and asks questions, therefore you engage with them and try and teach them as much as you can. This mother was talking AT her child for the benefit of others, not the child. What she was talking about was far too advanced for a 3 year old, even a really clever one, therefore the child was learning nothing, and had probably switched off hours before.

YANBU

I’ve heard parent and child (approx 10) talking politics. Made me a bit sick in my mouth. Poor kid!

My 6 year old DD2 (6) came out of school telling me enthusiastically about the Great Fire of London, where it started and all about it. She's fascinated by how things work, for example asking how it is that our knees bend. When on a plane recently, she noticed how the wing flaps were operating whilst we were taxiing down the runway.

I can well imagine that at 10 years old she'll be talking politics with us.

That definitely isn't performance parenting. But it's a lot more fun than talking about Peppa Pig, or Barbie, or fairies.

Hahaha

I gave my son a raw bar yesterday (2 for 1.50)

He was hungry so ate it but looked at me balefully !!!!

My kids asked me, very loudly "but exactly HOW does the dad's seed get into the mum's tummy to make a baby" on the tube once.

That was a parenting performance I wasn't ready for, all eyes were on me in that carriage.

.I really don't get the vitriol on here towards a parent who is engaging with her child in such a positive way.

No problem engaging - on any topic. But this parent wasn’t engaging - she was lecturing - possible to tell from the non-response.

Many years ago I used to walk to work in Notting Hill. I used to love walking behind a Dad taking his little boy (prob about 5 or 6) to Prince William & Harry’s old school (Wetherby House or whatever it was called). He would be having the bizarrest conversations with him about all sorts of topics from the inner workings of engines to stock markets or whatever. They would amble along and the son was fully engaged and would ask questions & his father would respond. There was just this lovely two way glow between them. The way the tubes worked I used to end up eavesdropping on them quite a bit

But that is very, very different from the situation described by OP of trying to force a child who sounds completely uninterested to answer questions. In my example the child asked the questions. That father was just chatting away about random topics with no pressure on his son.

I don’t think a 10 year old talking politics is that weird?? Ds2 wouldn’t have, but ds3 has been a socialist since he was about 5 (nothing to do with me or dh - we’re liberals) and has had a habit of talking politics since he was tiny. He has always loved history as well & would spend meal times telling us about the difference between the German and British trenches in ww1. (I didn’t know, so nothing to do with me(. Unfortunately he then got into football - I preferred the history or politics conversations.

Poor child

Lizzie but you said your child is doing the talking, showing all the interest. Would be a bit different if she came out and you started quizzing her about 1666 and Pudding Lane when she wasn't interested wouldn't it? Part of being a parent is being in tune with your child's moods and needs. Blatantly ignoring those needs and moods for your own gain is a form of emotional abuse.

I feel really sorry for that 3yo. They should be looking out the window at the scenery/animals outside not doing bloody chemistry

Actually I imagine this is quite alienating for the child. She has no chance of any meaningful input and this would make her feel lesser somehow. Lesser is not good. Engaged about the horse or the red bus or the flowers on the sellers stand is good. This is why performance parenting is terrible. That and it just being cringey and annoying for onlookers without earphones.
Most people on public transport just want quiet and to rest their brain and not have to think about anything much on a journey. That is why trains and buses have the atmosphere they have. There is good reason for it and I dislike having that vibe jiggled if I'm honest.

Oh and someone needs to teach the kid to say, "Isosceles triangle? Fuck that shit!"

I don't know how to copy just yr post (and not the 10 million others in the thread) but by god it made me laugh
'Iscoceles triangle. Fuck that shit'
There. Done it my own way

The worst case of performance parenting I ever saw was on a bus in the university area of a city in the East of England, a dad asking his 4 year old to name all the countries that make up NATO 🙄
Boy couldn’t give a f* and just wanted to count the vans and buses on the road.

If it was not for the raw balls of something, the OP could have seen me and DD. She is very interested in different gases now (how animals and plants breathe, why the smoke alarm goes off sometimes), and we do read LOTR on the public transport too. We do mental arithmetic too, a lot.

This made me laugh so hard...

I would actually pick up your phone and start filming and tell you are showing the world how not to parent.

Shame you don't have some taxing maths homework with you..... she could do it for you.

If i asked my almost 3yr old what elements make up nitrous oxide she would most likely say poo poo because that’s what kids that age think about!

my grandsons almost 3 and hes too busy seeing how high he can make his wee go that worrying about coconut and peanut raw balls

You sound as sad as the woman on the train, posting on hear to get as many responses as possible