to say my baby can't stay out all night?

[mplINsTA]

My gorgeous 5week old baby has her last feed at 9pm, then buggers off and leaves a tiny goblin who looks just like her but demands constant feeding, squawks constantly, chews my boobs and spits up milk all over me.

At her 7am feed, my smiley snuggly easy baby is back.

AIBU to say my daughter should stay home with us and not leave her goblin doppleganger here every night?

Lighthearted, obviously (unless she really IS fucking off and leaving a monster in her place after dark!) Does anyone else's baby have a complete change in personality at night?

I had this until I stopped drinking coffee.

I was going to say what conference did. Stop drinking caffeine and you might find this stops

Ooh interesting Conference - I had this with DD, and I drank loads of coffee at the time (because I was bloody knackered - vicious circle). DD used to go “goblin” at 7.30pm every night, and was HORRIBLE until about 6am. I never worked out how to fix it.

DS doesn’t do the goblin thing and I thought he was just an easy/different baby. But I also barely drink coffee now as it now makes me queasy. So maybe there is something in that...

Good luck OP and I do sympathise.

Stop coffee, drink gin (JOKE). Also my health visitor said there's as much, if not more, caffeine in tea.

and beans...beans would goblinate my first one quicker than you could say changeling.

beans on toast for lunch was a favourite for me! It was the single only useful bit of info my HV gave me!

A cup of tea has less than half of the caffeine of cup of coffee. Shit like that is why I’ve lost faith in health visitors.

Goblin doppelganger . Hahahahahaha that is brilliant.

The title of this thread is brilliant. I expected some clueless ex trying to take his baby to some inappropriate evening event!!!

I have a night goblin too. It’s the coffee??! Noooooooo! My last grown up pleasure! [White knuckle grip on mug handle]

My midwife (who was a legend in many ways) said that you should never drink anything made with "old grapes" while breastfeeding. So champagne was fine-sherry wasn't....

Goblinate is my new favourite word... @MsHomeSlice

I should be drinking coffee? Argh, my daily iced coffee is my only sanity saviour now I’m in week 5 of NICU

@Lipsticktraces - nicu is different - not sure what gestation your little one was born at but until (32, 34? weeks) a certain gestation the babies are given caffiene as a respiratory stimulant. Hope it's going well for your little one, nicu is a lonely place but when you leave it's an amazing day x

Please find out where your baby goes, because my sweet, snuggly, adorable 18 month old has also gone there and has been replaced by the Incredible Hulk. Except my DS has been gone for a few days now.