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AIBU?

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Original poster

Panicking about stretch marks

53 replies

CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 22:44

Nearly 8 months pregnant and have developed stretch marks on my thighs and belly and boobs. Aware I could have 6 ish weeks left of getting bigger and stretch marks getting worse. After crying in bed for an hour quietly not to wake DP up, I'm turning to mn for advice on how to cope with my changing body. I'm very self conscious and have low self esteem anyway. I don't show it and have a big personality which masks my insecurities about my physical appearance.

DP made a comment a while back about how pregnancy had a real toll on his exes body and how many stretch marks she had. That he still loved her at the time but found the stretch marks unattractive. I can't forgive him for this comment about someone who gave birth his child, and it's stuck with me. I'm angry he ever said it and now don't believe him when he tells me my stretch marks don't bother him.

AIBU to feel ugly and down about this? I'm really sad and just feel unattractive. Do they really fade? They're red and angry.

I just feel so low. Can't stop crying and hate my body. Having a body image crisis. Help.

OP posts:
HypoCali · 21/09/2018 22:53

You’re having a baby with a dickhead. What a shitty thing to say to you. I have loads of stretch marks and my husband loves them as part of me and a hallmark of the amazing job my body did at making our beautiful children.

They do fade to silvery white after several months. Strivectin SD is meant to be quite good at fading them but have never tried it myself.

Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 22:56

@HypoCali he said it a long time ago and I never forgot.

Thank you. Will look in to it.

OP posts:
redexpat · 21/09/2018 23:00

I have found following sophie hagen on facebook to be quite the education on body positivity. So now Im proud of post baby body. Its fucking awesome and Im not going to allow the patriarchy to make me feel otherwise.

BaronessBomburst · 21/09/2018 23:00

I can't remember how long mine took to fade, but they're definitely gone. Ds is 8 and I'm back in bikinis despite having looked like an ordnance survey map at 9 months pregnant.
Try not to stress about them. Flowers

Wolfiefan · 21/09/2018 23:04

I would urge you to seek RL and professional help with this. Pregnancy does change your body and it’s not unusual to have mixed feeling about this. But crying for an hour over stretch marks is excessive.
FWIW I have stretch marks. A couple are from my first pregnancy that ended in a mmc. I’m glad to have the reminder of that pregnancy if that makes sense.
You’re growing an actual human being. You’re awesome!!

LuvSmallDogs · 21/09/2018 23:04

Lots of people have stretch marks, not nice while itchy and red but you’ll get used to them soon enough. Why you would choose to have a baby with a man who would happily tell you the ways his ex became less attractive to him after carrying his child is beyond me, and probably more of a problem TBH.

Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 23:06

@LuvSmallDogs as I said, I'll not forgive him for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 23:07

@Wolfiefan I'm pregnant. I cried because my dad left the fridge door open and my ice cream melted yesterday...

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 23:08

*freezer

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 21/09/2018 23:12

Cherry I would cry about that and I’m not pregnant. Grin
Feeling upset or crying isn’t that unusual. Sobbing in bed for an hour is.

Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 23:16

Maybe you're right. I'm so low.

OP posts:
overagain · 21/09/2018 23:18

I hate my stretch marks. And whilst they dont stay the angry red, mine make my skin look like crepe paper with silver slug trails all over it. I find them disgusting and struggle to look at myself in the mirror. I'm dreading getting more this pregnancy.

Wolfiefan · 21/09/2018 23:19

You are. And you need to seek some help and support. Most people have low moments and few enjoy every effect pregnancy has on their body but this is an extreme reaction. I hope you can find a way to build self esteem and see how special and unique you are.

Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 21/09/2018 23:20

Thanks @Wolfiefan . I'm trying!

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 21/09/2018 23:22

Sorry that you're feeling so low. Your partners comments were really thoughtless. I found the stretch marks I gained in pregnancy faded quickly as my body shrank back but the palmers tummy butter is divine and is lovely to put on whether it helps or not- I still use it as body lotion and my youngest is two!

Shoeoholic · 21/09/2018 23:24

I was devastated in my second pregnancy when I developed stretch marks at 38 weeks having avoided them with my first. I was really upset. However my daughter was rushed to hospital at 8 days old and treated for neonatal meningitis. I cried so much and thinking she wouldn’t make it. It made me realise how shallow I’d been because I said to myself if she lived and was ok I would happily have had stretch marks all over my body. I don’t want to make you feel bad bit your body is amazing and grown a baby, they make you who you are and show how strong you are. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for having them x

Wolfiefan · 21/09/2018 23:29

Oh bless you! That’s all we can do. Good luck OP.

Ceilingrose · 21/09/2018 23:29

I completely promise you all you won't even be able to say whether you have any one day soon, regardless of size or fitness level.

PickAChew · 21/09/2018 23:31

Your not so d P is an arsehole.

Those stretch marks are a reminder of the the fact that your body is growing another human.

9amtrain · 21/09/2018 23:34

Bio-oil and microneedling with a dermaroller will improve them over time, if after a while you still hate them. :)

MmeButtox · 21/09/2018 23:42

They definitely do fade. I have had them them surprise me occasionally at random since my teens (when I grew taller) or if my weight goes up and down, and while they piss me off I'm reassured to remind myself they don't stay scarlet forever.

Original poster
CherryRoseAnna · 22/09/2018 09:02

Thanks everyone. Woken up this morning and DP has announced he wants to go swimming. Let's see how I'm going to get out of this one!

OP posts:
easternedge · 22/09/2018 09:04

With my first I developed stretch marks on the bottom of my bump,down my bikini line and thighs. I was horrified but the baby soon distracted me. In a few months they were all gone. ALL GONE! There is a slight silvery trace of the ones on my bump but not a trace at all of the bikini line / thigh ones. It's so weird. I honestly would t worry at all and I promise you when the baby comes you won't care a jot!

Allthewaves · 22/09/2018 09:07

Your growing a baby. Stretch marks are a pain but I wouldn't have them without my wonderful dc

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2018 09:16

Go if you want to.
Say no if you don’t. Why can’t you just be honest with him?

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