To ask if my DH’s inconsistency about food needs to stop?

[JontyDoggle37]

Tonight I have cooked cheesy bean enchiladas. He has eaten and enjoyed them before (I know, because I’ve written the recipe into my cooks notebook - anything that gets ‘the face’ on first eating doesn’t make it that far). I’m a pretty good home cook, so I’m not serving up burnt offerings. But TONIGHT he decides that said enchiladas are ‘problematic’ because they don’t contain any beef. They have never contained beef at any point we have previously eaten them. The recipe is really tasty (I’m fairly critical of my own food, if I thought it was crap I wouldn’t mind).
This happens often - meal previously eaten is now not ok, for a variety of reasons. Also, if I introduce a new meal, it must not be ‘too green’ or he won’t eat it at all - I.e. more than one v small portion of a green vegetable on the plate. Broccoli, spinach and carrots would be unthinkable. He claims this is because he doesn’t like too many vegetables - but if I produce a meal full of red and orange vegetables (carrots, peppers, red onions, red potatoes) he will eat the lot (unless we’re having one of those days where he suddenly doesn’t like it anymore). AIBU to choke him with a fish slice the next time he comes out with one of his ‘pronouncements’? For context, he cooks 2 x a week (under pressure) and I am always expected to say how tasty/amazing it is.. (I did once suggest his repertoire was getting boring and he needed to expand, he met this with extreme injury and disdain)

And I didn't eat the pasta once.

I would tell him that ONE MORE word will result in a full-on vegan onslaught the likes he has never seen.

He is being a fucking twat-faced bully. Let him cook every damn night.

Next time he mentions 'problematic' take his plate and slide the food into the bin with no comment. Then eat yours.

Do it every time.

He will stop.

This is not normal behaviour - from either of you!

no don't throw food out put it onto your plate & eat lot :)

muchalover I think this is my next tactic. The problem is, I really need him to cook on the two nights he actually does, so I can go out and pursue my hobby (he goes out on two of the nights I cook, so it’s equal). I don’t mind if people do/don’t like certain things, it’s the inconsistency from one day to the next that drives me bloody insane!!!

Urgh, what a knob he sounds.

Hmm I’m similar to your DH, my tastes change regularly. I’ve no idea why. Sometimes things I eat regularly suddenly make me feel queasy at the thought of it, like porridge. I went through a stage of my stomach turning at the thought of (previously loved) roast chicken. I also sometimes feel a bit meh after a meat free meal, that I’ve enjoyed before.

But, I do most of the cooking so I’m not inconveniencing anyone and my OH is pretty easy going with food.

We still mention what’s planned for dinner though incase the other one doesn’t fancy it. Could you do that?

"You know where the bin is." Then sit and eat yours.

I'd make him wear it. Cheeky fucker. Who does he think he is?

Did you accidentally write DH instead of toddler?

Anyone describing anything as ‘problematic’ is automatically BU.

LTB.

(Not really, though he does sound like a complete pain in the arse)

Maybe read up on passive aggressive partners? Might give you some strategies to help.

Is he just this way with food, or are other things ‘problematic’ too?

What would happen if you stopped trying so hard to keep him happy and accomodate him?

God men are such dicks

What a wanker
Could anyone be that bad, surely not.
Send him back to mummy.

I personally couldn't pander to that. I'd have stopped cooking for him a long time ago.

The enchiladas contain no beef and neither would I until he stopped acting like a twat.

Serve him a takeaway menu on a plate. With fucking broccoli.

popholditdown I meal plan and order everything for delivery on a Sunday. I will shuffle meals between days as much as I can, but by the same token, if I got cooked dinner I would damn well eat it. I’ve worked a 55 hour week, plus toddler, DH, horse, dog, elderly mother needing hospital appointment delivery and full Power of Attorney for very elderly great aunt who had formal care assessment meetings this week. Eating some beans doesn’t seem like too much to ask?!??

Stop cooking for him. I’m a fussy eater, but I cook for myself. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to pander to me. He doesn’t have to eat what you cook, but he doesn’t get something else instead unless he makes it himself. TBH is just make tonight the last meal I cooked for him and let him know he’s on his own from now on. You’re not his staff! He can feed himself.

I’ve worked a 55 hour week, plus toddler, DH, horse, dog, elderly mother needing hospital appointment delivery and full Power of Attorney for very elderly great aunt who had formal care assessment meetings this week.

And what does your DH do?

Cook for yourself next time, and say that he's such an efficient critic that he'd better cook his own.... you will never be able to achieve his standards.

Can’t you just stop cooking for him? You can easily have a spare meal for you and toddler if you’re not feeding him and reheat them those two nights you have to go.
But if that seems too nuclear I would instantly remove any meal he criticises or makes a face about from him and repeat things he’s said to me about what he cooks. No way could I manage effusive praise for knobhead deigning to turn the stove on.

I feel your pain OP my husband (man child) is exactly the same! Some nights I have to cook four separate meals to accommodate the whole family!

Tonight we had Chinese ready meal from m&s cos I'm ill, it's Friday & been at work . I forgot to hear up the the sweet & sour sauce for chicken by accident and then after he tried it and realised I heated it up the whole thing on the plate. He had a bit and couldn't eat the whole meal after! So annoying. I've given up.