To think life shouldn’t be easier for those on benefits than those who work?

[Alwaysoverdrawn]

obviously not including the disabled, elderly etc in this

I am so fed up of being poor so I looked into doing an access course to increase my earning potential. My sister is doing one and is currently on benefits, she gets it for free with her childcare paid.

Having spoken to them, we earn too much to be considered for help. Having looked into mine and my sisters finances I think this is frankly bloody ridiculous. We are worse off than her ffs.

We make around £2,500 NET p/m, £1000 rent, £900 childcare -2 adults, 2 kids. So £600 ‘disposable’ pm with a lot of debts to pay.

She gets £670pm plus her full rent paid and a council tax reduction for her and one child.

AIBU to think life shouldn’t be ‘easier’ for those on benefits than those who work?

DP hasn’t been to the dentist despite needing to for years as he can’t afford treatment, I’m really down today. Seriously considering moving out so that I can claim benefits and get out of this horrible rut.

There are several replies which fully acknowledge that some full time workers are barely getting by and are struggling. Some replies are saying that yes some people do take the piss with benefits but that is a small minority.
And there are also some people who are working and getting far less than your 2.5k every month.
There are many factors in everyone’s lives that equate their individual situations - it just gets many people’s backs up when people seem to always jump straight to “oh they’re on benefits, they get everything free” when really that isn’t the case.
Life bloody sucks sometimes and a lot of people’s problems seem to be money related but I know for damn sure that when I had my own family I didn’t want to be claiming benefits as it isn’t a great life, it really isn’t.
Ask your sis how the childcare assistance works through the OU and seen if you’re entitled to anything in that regard. Also where I studied there were several access course options - two year course so less days per week, 1 year with a fuller timetable etc weigh up all the options for a college based route and see what their is. You may but require that much extra childcare. Or depending on your children’s ages delay your study until they are in full time school and then apply for access.

Op it is in the governments interest to fund courses for those on no/low income so they can better their own situation and become a tax payer.

*there
*not

Ah, that will be why it's not financed. Have you tried your local college? Mine does evening and weekend level 3 courses, although the access to HE is over two week days. There might be something else that takes your fancy. Also, speak to student services and ask about bursaries for childcare. I think you are probably over the threshold but it's worth asking. Bursaries are granted as per the college's discretion so the rules differ from college to cillege and even course by course depending how full they are.

OP with what you take in per month you should be able to live.
Are you sure you're claiming the benefits that you may be eligible for?

• working tax credit
• childcare vouchers / tax free childcare
• 30 hrs free childcare ( don't know what age your children are but from what you're saying you are both working so if not eligible now you will be in the future)

How much debt do you have? If that's taking up a lot of your monthly income then is there any way of consolidating that and paying less?

I get that it's frustrating when you see others around you seemingly having a better lifestyle than you at the minute. But the difference with being in work and being on benefits is that people on benefits (for whatever reason- most are absolutely genuine IME) will still be in the same situation in 1, or 5 years, given your work ethic you have the chance to better your life. Well done to your sister for wanting this for herself and her dc. Things will get easier. Good luck!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3244817-Universal-credit-domestic-abuse

I do however now have an issue with those who refuse to read what I’ve said in order to project their own dissatisfaction with their life onto me.

A bit like the way you project your own dissatisfaction with your life by starting a thread slagging off your sister who's on benefits because you chose to get into debt and have kids close together so your childcare bill is huge but moan because you're not also getting your sweeties in the form of free higher education? I mean, bugger all those students who have to take out loans, you should get it free because you are who you are, more special than they are.

Go for it! Split up with your partner and go on benefits - it's all UC now, loads of fun from what I hear!

"I am angry that someone above gets 2k a month. That's twice what I earn for working full time. Sometimes I feel like a mug."

I get 2k a month BECAUSE of having a disabled child.

I would happily trade my life. I dont get to be anything other than mum, their dad is deemed so high risk court ordered no contact until 18. I sobbed when I handed my notice in when we split because it was the only thing I had for me.

I would happily trade being sworn at in asda by a random person because my child cant cope with the busyness but I needed some essentials before the next online shop, i get criticised in the drs because she has smacked me round the face because she is terrified of all things medical, I go weeks without adult company, my life (and sadly her brother's) is completely ruled by her needs.

My work managed to get head office to agree to me not working weekends after several attempts from my manager/area manager but reality of my life is my oldest having appointments most weeks if not more than once, and the youngest suffering so badly with his tonsils he has been admitted every other month since he was 6 months old (try getting a tonsillectomy on the NHS these days) he is finally on the list for it and is two next week.

I love my children but I hate my life. I worked from the age of 15 and made a stupid choice in a man, I used to have a future and now it is difficult to see one. It is so easy to criticise me but all it takes is one thing going wrong in your life...

I may receive a fair whack but for example her DLA is £229 every 4 weeks . I pay for her to do a therapy session once a week at £140 every 4 weeks, a weighted blanket to help calm her down is £60, then I have to pay for brother to go to childminders for her appointments at hospital/drs (some at the one an hour away) because I physically can not manage her and him in that environment. Plus when brother is in hospital I have to pay childminders to have her, double time out of 9-6 and triple midnight-6am or weekends. So yeah it doesnt stretch far.

So yeah will happily trade!

40k isn't poor.

That should say I coudlnt keep my job despite getting weekends off.

I know my case has a disabled child but nowadays the pressure for flexible workers but non flexible childcare is causing so many problems for single parents that arent already established in a role before ot happens. It is the single biggest issue I see hit single parents.

I would support a system that encourages people into work to support themselves . The carrot approach has backfired , time for the stick .

believes your either on benefits and struggling or working and rich and refuse to accept those in the middle as being worthy of support.

It's not support you need Op it's a decent living wage and fair rent.
don't Try not to rail at your sister, she's doing a good thing, rail against the fucking ideological Government that chose and continues to choose austerity and made it a race to the bottom.
I was on my beam ends most of my life.
It's shit.
In work or out of it, being skint takes all the joy out of life.
It will get better if you keep pushing forward.

Leftrightcentre , where did I slag off my sister? I’ve spoken well of her, said she’s doing what she can to give my niece a nice life. I’ve just used her income as an example (I assume all single parents on benefits get the same amount? ) my debt is nothing to do with it and no actually, I didn’t chose for my son to be long-term hospitalised and me to have to take unpaid leave to be with him thus leaving me unable to pay bills and taking out loans.
And yes, why should she get it for free and me have to pay for it despite her having more income left over? How is that fair? My point is that working people can be just as bad of as unemployed but are treated as if we should have the funds and couldn’t possibly be poor.

God these threads are tedious, sooooo many people point blank refusing to read the OPs actual point and just repeatedly saying how shit life is on benefits. It's like you can't dare to question anything regarding fairness because you'll soon be labelled a benefit basher and get the snide "what size is her TV" remarks.

OP I actually agree with you there are definitely holes in the system where people in certain circumstances can fall through the cracks. Have you tried entitled to website to see if you can get WTC/ CTC to help with childcare? I just did a basic calc 2 adults both on £17k which works out about £2.5k a month, +£900 childcare and you should be getting at least £100 per week in tax credits to help with the costs?

I had a similar frustration when trying to find childcare for my youngest daughter... they had just brought in free funded nursery provision for 2 year olds of parents on benefits. Now I 100% get why this is absolutely brilliant for kids who need a headstart because their parents are struggling... BUT I do not think ALL people on benefits are guilty of not being "good parents" or that their children always need a headstart, I know many single mums who stay at home and are wonderful mothers. 2) there are kids who have 2 full time working parents who are looked after by relatives who might also really benefit from this headstart 3) people who work and actually needed the childcare so they can, you know, pay taxes and not rely on the state could not get places in the nursery because they were full of funded two year olds!!

So while I 100% agree with benefits, and would never wish to take anything away from people struggling on benefits, we should be allowed to have a grown up debate on the govs "one size fits all" policies of free this and free that, and about low income working families without it turning into a shit slinging match / how hard my life was on benefits pity party.

What's wrong is that as a working family you should get the kind of help that you would have got 10 years ago and access to education, not that your sister should be even poorer.

Ffs!!

1 where are you living that you've £1000 rent that seems high

2 she's working to get herself out of the benefits trap. If it was easier surely she wouldn't bother?

3 you are falling for the "divide and rule" propaganda of the current govt, press (which is owned by EXTREMELY wealthy people by the way) and benefit porn tv crap!

4 comparison is the thief of joy, and jealousy gets you nowhere!

Benefits are NOT easy to get, NOT 'an easy life' and NOT a golden ticket.

Why is she alone with her child? Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is being a single parent?

Instead of whining how she has it easier, look to improve your own circumstances eg by getting your debt sorted, support your sister and stop believing the nonsense about benefits the 1%ers want you to.

If you REALLY believe what you're saying is true - quit work, leave dh and go on benefits as a single mum!

"I’m not bashing her" yes you are.

"She’s in a council house so the full rent is paid" not necessarily true do you know this for a fact?

I've been a sahm (while married), student mum (both married and single), working full time mum (single) and now disabled unable to work mum (single). Working full time mum was by far the easiest for me, not just financially. Which is not to say I refute that for other women being a sahm was easier and more suited to them. The whole time I've been single, inc when working I've been in receipt of benefits of some description, though some were and still are not considered benefits by some (tax credits, child benefit). While I was grateful for the help, frankly when I was working it really shouldn't have been necessary, because employers should be paying employees enough to live on!

You're saying you think this course should be free to all? Why? If you already have qualifications and work experience to get a decent job why would you need a free course?

If you need help with budgeting you could post your income/outgoings and circumstances and in all likelihood mners (inc the dreadful people like me on benefits who HAVE to operate on a tight budget) will be able to help you. You could also try mse site for the same, it's a very useful site.

Poorlyparented - no way that person is doing all that on benefits! They could be making money elsewhere but benefits would not cover all that.

"I don't believe the posters who say that one bit" neither do I! Not least because why would they risk dropping themselves in it?!

"Then I find threads like this from arrogant butt hurt people shaming and further stigmatising people like me really adds to my fears." Yep I hear you!

"I don’t have an issue with people on benefits" rot! The whole premise of your thread is this!

"then you could have just made a thread asking whether people think that the working poor should get help. Yes, they should imo. Benefit claimants don't need to come into the subject at all." exactly!

"my point was I don’t get the help as I’m not on benefits." And there it is!

The working poor ARE acknowledged - they're ending up homeless and at food banks, you're not poor!

"Surprisingly, people who work also face mental health issues that the NHS fails to help with, its not exclusive to those on benefits." No it's not BUT those unwell enough to be unable to work are more ill than those working. Mh services need much more investment for ALL sufferers, but to make cuts to this is short sighted, if people who COULD work if getting the right treatment/support are instead left languishing getting more ill and on benefits - that's helping nobody!

And I've just done a check for you op and you could based on the info you've given us be entitled to benefits yourself, but then I'm not sure how accurate that info is. But then another calculation puzzles me, assuming you're over 25 are either you or dh not working full time or if working full time not being paid full nmw?

"SO there is literall no incentive to try." But you think the answer is to make it harder for people already struggling? No! The answer is to raise the nmw to an actual living wage!

"The carrot approach has backfired , time for the stick" when was there a carrot?!

Plus something else many are seemingly wilfully ignorant of - there aren't even enough jobs to go around anyway - and that's according to the govts own figures!

The comments on mental illness and benefits are truly shockingly offensive! Those making them should be utterly ashamed of themselves!

Those of us with mental illness have among the hardest time getting disability benefits, they don't just take your word for it! Hell they won't even take your GP's word! Sometimes they won't even take a consultant psychiatrists word!!

Cleopatra in particular talking utter BS!

I couldbehappy at 1708 quite possibly one of the nastiest posts I've ever seen on here. To be so venomous toward a sick child!

I don't believe the posters who say that one bit. Why would someone you "know" go and tell a random person who could potentially report them that they're abusing the system? And how do these posters know so much about the finances of people "in their area?" I don't even know about my next door neighbour's financial situation let alone everyone else in town.

Also this made me laugh have you ever lived on a council estate up north? I can tell you right now of at least 4 "single" mums whos partners are registered at their parents address. To say it doesn't happen is either completely naive, or you live in a nice middle class area where these sorts of things are kept well hidden. There isn't a team who sit parked in cars marking the comings and goings of partners from the house, investigations (if at all!) are done by checking bank statements/ credit records etc to see if finances are shared. If everything is in the mothers name nothing will happen. I know one who has been reported several times as she's quite braggy about it (my brothers girlfrieds brothers girlfriend 😂) and nothing happens, infact she's just been given a new build three bedroom house because she's now overcrowded (though has been single throughout her 3 pregnancies). It's NOT a life I would choose and I am absolutely not jealous of it in anyway, my wages are for the long run and hers will stop when the kids reach 16. But to say it doesn't happen is just silly really!

Yes benefits are not forever and neither are jobs. You could lose your job at any time. Just because people work makes them no better than anyone else.

Quite right, but certainly less precarious than being on benefits and waiting like a sitting duck for the tories to take even more away.

I know I'd rather have my life than hers, even if she does have more disposable income than I do (due to partners wages not being counted).

OP my neighbours are on benefits, high rate DLA, full tax credits, housing benefit etc etc for them and three kids, he is her carer.

They are far better off than our (matching) family with my husband earning £10k a year over the national average.

I don’t begrudge them the money they get, in fact it’s nothing to do with me, but I will say this; they have made it their jobs to receive as much money as they can for as many problems as they can muster, it has done nothing for them. They grow increasingly apathetic about their living environment, they are increasingly obsessive about people around them, they have so little life.

They are stuck, there is no way they could go from what they receive now to a min-wage job, it would be a huge leap down in income.

I feel bad for them, they have a nice car and money but no real life.

When their kids grow up they won’t have money either.

Be proud of yourself for doing it yourself, eventually the child care bill will go down and your situation will improve

@Alwaysoverdrawn - hopefully you will have some sort of pension with your employer. That and the fact that having a CV without gaps and the prospect of eventually no childcare/paying off debts make your working life a very valuable one. Keep at it.
It may not seem it but you probably have more choices than people on benefits.
I hope you find a way to do the course. Good luck.

CantankerousCamel

You've put what I was trying to say really well. I wouldn't trade places with the lady in my post because she is completely stuck now and her employment prospects when her kids are grown, having never had a job before, will be very poor and most likely minimum wage at best.

Things will improve once your children are in school and your childcare bill goes down.