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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think life shouldn’t be easier for those on benefits than those who work?

605 replies

Alwaysoverdrawn · 21/09/2018 16:19

obviously not including the disabled, elderly etc in this

I am so fed up of being poor so I looked into doing an access course to increase my earning potential. My sister is doing one and is currently on benefits, she gets it for free with her childcare paid.

Having spoken to them, we earn too much to be considered for help. Having looked into mine and my sisters finances I think this is frankly bloody ridiculous. We are worse off than her ffs.

We make around £2,500 NET p/m, £1000 rent, £900 childcare -2 adults, 2 kids. So £600 ‘disposable’ pm with a lot of debts to pay.

She gets £670pm plus her full rent paid and a council tax reduction for her and one child.

AIBU to think life shouldn’t be ‘easier’ for those on benefits than those who work?

DP hasn’t been to the dentist despite needing to for years as he can’t afford treatment, I’m really down today. Seriously considering moving out so that I can claim benefits and get out of this horrible rut.

OP posts:
ApplestheHare · 21/09/2018 16:40

Life on benefits isn't easier. You have a decent income and if you pay off the debts and re-work your spending you'll have a much better quality of life. What are your housing options and associated costs?

Lavenderhues · 21/09/2018 16:40

OP - I don't think you should have to pay for your access course unless you've already done a degree? I'm doing one now and don't claim any benefits and it's free 🙂

BitchQueen90 · 21/09/2018 16:40

And don't forget you've got 4 people to feed and clothe whereas she only has 2. So her bills and food costs will be less than yours which probably makes it seem like she's better off.

The reason those courses are free for people on benefits is to try and help them get back to work.

Littlechocola · 21/09/2018 16:40

You should be proud of your sister for using this opportunity to study. Try to be supportive rather than bitter, this could be life changing for both of you in different ways.

EndeavourVoyage · 21/09/2018 16:41

I know what you are trying to say OP. But along with working comes the self respect of doing it yourself without handouts, the ability to better yourselves and increase your earning potential, your Dsis will never get any better off in fact as her DC gets older she will be considerably worse off. Bide your time OP take pride in yourselves when your debts are paid off and you have that disposable income you long for. Being on benefits is actually not as good as you think, just the fat the moment you are struggling and it just seems like the grass is greener over there. It isn’t.

Kaykay06 · 21/09/2018 16:41

It’s shit you can’t do your course now, buy perhaps you can do it once your childcare isn’t so high/kids in school.
I assume this is an access course to get into another course/line of work? So she’s trying to get qualifications to get into work and you’re moaning that you, who has a partner and a job, can’t get it for free?...

Pay off your debt, then get kids to school and cheaper childcare & then you’ll be in a position or you can just move out, break up your family and go on benefits because that’s so much better. Being a single parent is so easy and lucrative

ADastardlyThing · 21/09/2018 16:41

I don't think it is for the majority but certainly there will be some who live comfortably on the face of it while some struggle on min wage but i still wouldnt want to swap lives with them. There's always some benefits shake up going on so it must be very worrying not knowing if they are going to be reduced etc. And generally (imo) there's a lot of credit cards, door to door loan sharks (bastards), buying on credit. No, I don't think it's an easier life at all tbh.

FissionChips · 21/09/2018 16:43

She won’t be getting her full rent paid, even council houses don’t get the full rent paid.

Why you making shit up?

user1457017537 · 21/09/2018 16:43

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Frequency · 21/09/2018 16:43

The crap people spout on these threads never fails to amuse me.

But on the off chance it's not crap, please could someone pass me the email addresses of 1) someone with a 'free house' because they have kids and 2) someone who can afford multiple holidays a year on benefits?

I want some tips from them.

Frequency · 21/09/2018 16:45

Also, you can get student loans for access courses.

FanciedAChangeToday · 21/09/2018 16:45

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ItsLikeNew · 21/09/2018 16:47
CaptSkippy · 21/09/2018 16:52

I have seen both sides of the coin and being on nenefits is definitely harder than having a job, regardless of your monthly bills.
I struggled so much on benefits. I cut down on everything, including nutricious food. I hardly ate any fresh fruit or vegetables or meat when I was on it, because I just couldn't afford it. I had some nice things, but these were either gifts, second hand or encredible deals with other costs I couldn't put off anymore. It was luck, pure and simple.
The stress of barely managing to stay within my means, having my health suffer because a healthly lifestyle is expensive and constantly having to prove that I wasn't trying to scam the system really sucked. I felt like such a huge failure, a criminal and worried about losing a roof over my head.

I now have a fulltime job and it's infinitely easier. People treat me with respect, I never have to tell people what I spend my money on what and what I make a month. Nobody questions my decisions or treats me like a criminal and suggests I pay too little taxes. The guilt is slowly fading away and spending money is becoming easier. I often don't even look at receipts anymore, which I am aware is a danger in and of itself. I eat healthier and when I buy items I get to think long term and spend a bit more money on something that will have three times the lifespan of a cheap item. The stress is way down and I excercise more and feel overall much better.

LakieLady · 21/09/2018 16:52

Most of my clients are on benefits.

Like the single mum of 2 kids, on JSA, who has about £80pw disposable income after paying her rent top-up and bills. She has to feed and clothe a 5 year-old and a 14 yo, plus herself out of that. When her son came from school with the sole hanging off his school shoes, she cried inconsolably. He only has one other pair of shoes, trainers, and they're not acceptable at school, so he's off school today and she's off to the food bank, because this weeks tax credits will go on school shoes, rent, leccy and gas.

OP, aren't you entitled to some tax credits, at least towards your childcare?

Shinesweetfreedom · 21/09/2018 16:53

So that is nearly 2000 a month you are paying on rent and childcare which you would not have to pay if you didn’t work.
It’s massive isn’t it.
The child care will drop off as the kids get older but that rent is big.
I am surprised more people are not pissed at the amount having to be paid by those in work.
The problem is housing costs.

7toGo · 21/09/2018 16:53

PEOPLE NEED TO READ THE OP AGAIN.

OP has £600 disposable income BEFORE he debts are paid.

Her sister has £670.

Clearing her debts does not mean OP will be more well off than her sister!

morningtoncrescent62 · 21/09/2018 16:53

Having lived on a low income until my mid-30s I know it's shitty being the 'working poor' and unable to afford things like dental treatment which shouldn't be luxuries but there is just nothing left for those kinds of incidental expenses. I hear your frustration, OP. But the real problem here isn't your sister getting a free access course with childcare paid for - the problem is that you can't get those things (as far as you're aware) and so you're being denied the chance to work towards bettering your life chances. That's very unfair and I can understand you being angry and upset. But don't blame people on benefits - blame lack of affordable education and childcare for workers on low incomes.

I'm not up to speed with how assistance for studying works these days - can you check what's available locally as there might be subsidies you don't know about that would make the access course possible for you. When I did my access course it was free, and although I know a lot has changed, don't rule it out without investigating.

wafflyversatile · 21/09/2018 16:54

AIBU to think life shouldn’t be ‘easier’ for those on benefits than those who work?

Yabu. Why would your answer to your life being hard be to make others' lives even harder?

Try directing your anger up rather than down.

Losingthewill1 · 21/09/2018 16:55

Oh wow bitter much?

Try paying off your debt, living with your means and understanding that people do not want to be on benefits.

Maybe the people with benefits alactially have empathy for others.

cleopatracomingatya · 21/09/2018 16:55

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wannabestressfree · 21/09/2018 16:56

@cleopatracomingatya I can't believe you wrote that whether true or not...

It's disgusting.

Nothisispatrick · 21/09/2018 16:57

These benefit bashing threads always boil down to jealousy and ‘they have more than me!’ foot stamping, like a toddler. It’s embarrassing.

Taking benefits away from your sister will not make you any better off, what it does do is make sure she and her children have a roof over their heads and food on the table. Less benefits will not equal more money in worker’s pockets.

Focus on improving your own life and career prospects. It’s no one else’s fault you don’t earn enough and have debt. Benefits have absolutley nothing to do with your situation.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 21/09/2018 16:57

Does she smoke too?

CanadianJohn · 21/09/2018 16:58

I've know a couple of people who accept a low quality of life - poor housing, cheap furniture, no holidays - in exchange for not having to work.

It's quite tempting, sometimes. A lot of jobs provide very little in the way of job-satisfaction, and the feeling of pride in being self-sufficient must wear thin after a time.

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