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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think life shouldn’t be easier for those on benefits than those who work?

605 replies

Alwaysoverdrawn · 21/09/2018 16:19

obviously not including the disabled, elderly etc in this

I am so fed up of being poor so I looked into doing an access course to increase my earning potential. My sister is doing one and is currently on benefits, she gets it for free with her childcare paid.

Having spoken to them, we earn too much to be considered for help. Having looked into mine and my sisters finances I think this is frankly bloody ridiculous. We are worse off than her ffs.

We make around £2,500 NET p/m, £1000 rent, £900 childcare -2 adults, 2 kids. So £600 ‘disposable’ pm with a lot of debts to pay.

She gets £670pm plus her full rent paid and a council tax reduction for her and one child.

AIBU to think life shouldn’t be ‘easier’ for those on benefits than those who work?

DP hasn’t been to the dentist despite needing to for years as he can’t afford treatment, I’m really down today. Seriously considering moving out so that I can claim benefits and get out of this horrible rut.

OP posts:
greendale17 · 21/09/2018 17:27

I agree with you OP

@IHaveBrilloHair why don’t you take your own advice and piss off

MongerTruffle · 21/09/2018 17:29

Stop working then and see how easy it is to be on benefits.

UseditUpandWoreitOut · 21/09/2018 17:33

Fucks sake. Some of the comments on this thread!

IHaveBrilloHair · 21/09/2018 17:33

Nice Greendale, nice.

CiderBrains · 21/09/2018 17:33

One point you are missing OP is not all people on benefits don't work. You can work and claim benefits because working doesn't earn you enough to actually live!

Weathermonger · 21/09/2018 17:34

I'm not sure telling someone to "live within their means" is helpful. People can end up with crippling debt through no fault of their own.

LakieLady · 21/09/2018 17:37

Lakie I wonder if there could be something set up so parents could donate their children's old school shoes (which are in good condition, just outgrown them) so people can have them for free. It would be a good way to recycle as well as helping families who cannot afford to buy them.

Some schools do organise something similar. There's a lovely rural secondary school near me where they sell outgrown uniform for next to nothing to families on benefits, and for a bit more for working families. When a client was moved into temporary accommodation and was reluctant to spend money on a complete set of uniform for her 11-year old (they thought they would be moved again very soon), the headteacher sorted out a complete uniform for her daughter so she could go to school. This sowed the idea of the "uniform exchange" shop.

Oddly, I've not heard of this happening in the more deprived areas of my patch.

LakieLady · 21/09/2018 17:41

But on the off chance it's not crap, please could someone pass me the email addresses of 1) someone with a 'free house' because they have kids and 2) someone who can afford multiple holidays a year on benefits?

I had a client on benefits who goes to Spain several times a year. Her mum lives there and pays for their flights, and she stays with mum.

Leesa65 · 21/09/2018 17:41

Oh DFOD

CiderBrains · 21/09/2018 17:41

I will look out for that. I still have a pair of dd's school shoes, nothing wrong with them, she just outgrew them she's already a size 7 foot at 11 Shock

SaucyJack · 21/09/2018 17:44

Ours does for starters Fission.

FissionChips · 21/09/2018 17:46

Mmhmm Hmm

IHaveBrilloHair · 21/09/2018 17:46

Many years ago, when Dd was 7 or 8, a Mumsnetter sent me some barely worn Clark's shoes, the ones with the doll in the heel.
We were over the moon, I could have never afforded them and Dd was desperate for a pair.
She's now 17 but I've never forgotten the kindness.

MotherOfMinions · 21/09/2018 17:49

I agree with PP and think that the working poor are massively overlooked and all the help and sympathy goes on JSA claimants. Yes it can be stressful being on benefits but it's a lot more stressful working hard and having a long commute to work. Many workers are eating unhealthy diets and wearing very old clothes because they haven't got enough money. When I was a single mum on IS ten years ago we had a much better diet and more money for clothes and days out than I do now- and I'm in a job that requires a degree.

LakieLady · 21/09/2018 17:51

Full rent does get paid for council housing- so long as you’re in the right size property for your family.

Not now we have the benefit cap.

And the same is definitely not true for those unlucky enoguh to be in HA "affordable" housing, which is £229 pw for a 3-bed house in my area. That's partly how the client referred to in my earlier post is so hard up (the other reason is that her house is absurdly expensive to heat).

BitchQueen90 · 21/09/2018 17:51

@FissionChips when I was on benefits I got my full rent paid. You do get the full amount paid if you live in a property where the rent is within the local housing allowance.

Unfortunately there aren't many of those, I was lucky.

IHaveBrilloHair · 21/09/2018 17:54

I get my rent paid fully, two of us in a three bed HA home, which I had to have because of my claim at the time.
There's no such thing as bedroom tax here now so even though I'm no longer entitled to a three bed, they can't make me pay for the extra room.
I'm hoping to move area and into a two bed asap.

Sleepyblueocean · 21/09/2018 17:55

" I don’t want to say why she’s a carer but if you were to meet the girl, you’d never know what it was."

If she is getting carers allowance the girl must have been getting DLA which requires evidence from other people that a lot of extra care is needed.

BitchQueen90 · 21/09/2018 17:55

I do find it so funny though how so many people on these threads "know people" who have "admitted" to them that they're cheating the system.

I don't believe the posters who say that one bit. Why would someone you "know" go and tell a random person who could potentially report them that they're abusing the system? And how do these posters know so much about the finances of people "in their area?" I don't even know about my next door neighbour's financial situation let alone everyone else in town.

SwordToFlamethrower · 21/09/2018 18:01

I'm on benefits. I have a serious mental illness so I can't work. It's an invisible illness, people can't tell by a snapshot view of me.
In the last 18 months, I've been nearly made homeless, lived in squalor, had to get for foodbank vouchers because I had to choose between food or shoes for my kid. I've suffered a complete relapse due to inadequate and dangerous housing. Mow living in mich nicer housing, but in cramped conditions due to extortionate rents and discrimination towards people on "dss".

I'm "the disabled" as you put it. But I constantly have to watch my back because if anyone catches me smiling or at the cinema with my kids on meercat Wednesdays, or god forbid down the beach with my carer, laughing, they might think I'm a dirty lying scrounger.

Then I find threads like this from arrogant butt hurt people shaming and further stigmatising people like me really adds to my fears.

I can't get a therapist on the NHS so I am living with an untreated mental health illness that is manageable but incurable.
But the Tories have cut mental health services to nothing in my area so here I am. I had started doing a biology degree 4 years ago with open uni which was my life dream, but they cut the funding for it so I would have had to fully fund it with loans. At my age I can't see myself paying it off. My barriers are childcare, needing a carer to chaperone me to lectures and things and of course, the cost.

What would be great is if people on benefits such as myself could get access to proper healthcare. Then help with education. I need a career change if I'm to ever to get back into work. (If I can get to the stage of my condition being managable) Till then I am trapped in a system that people like you demonize its recipients for being trapped inside.

Thatstheendofmytether · 21/09/2018 18:06

Sorry OP but who's fault is it your rent is a gran a month? As that's right yours. Move elsewhere if it's that high. Even factoring in extra travel expenses you would still be better off.

GunpowderGelatine · 21/09/2018 18:10

YANBU at all. Personally I think that if you're on benefits but not old or disabled, just plain old poor and unskilled, they should hand out standard issue potato sacks for clothing and outlaw any kind fun. Thy definitely shouldn't give that kind of person money either, the thieving gits wanting a whopping £70 a week, they should issue a special token which buys them gruel and one banana. Except on Fridays, when they can have bread and dripping - I'm not a cruel person after all.

EwItsAHooman · 21/09/2018 18:15

She gets money to go on holiday every year and it’s always 4star all-inclusive.

I'm a carer for my child who has a so-called invisible disability. Do tell me exactly who is giving away this money to pay for four star all-inclusive holidays because we would very much like one.

He's in school and I don't work because even when he's not here, the care work doesn't stop. I have to go to meetings at school, meetings with his consultant, meetings with his OT, meetings with his physiotherapist. A lot of these are in the format where they have an appointment with me to discuss our concerns and their plans then they have an appointment with DS, then they have a follow up appointment with me to give their findings then we all have a multi-agency meeting with school to let them know and get his file updated to reflect any new needs. I go to workshops to learn as much as I can about how to parent him and support him, these are ongoing as his needs change over time. I go to a support group because it's isolating sometimes. He can't cope with childcare so I have to be there before and after school. Tell me what employer supports all of that? I used to work from home but don't currently as even with running my own business it was all too much.

fuzzywuzzy · 21/09/2018 18:17

If you think life’s so cushy for those on benefits why don’t you split up with your DP and go it alone. You could then possibly claim benefits and live the dream (according to you). You’d definitely get the single persons council tax discount.

I had a friend who was forced to go on benefits due to fleeing a severely abusive marriage, she suffered really badly from mental health issues as a result of the abuse. Her & her two DC lived in a squalorly house with damp everywhere, in winter the ceilings actually had droplets of condensation! She had to choose between heating and food for her dc (food being the cheapest stuff she could buy) during one of our most severe winters. You could see your breath in the air it was so cold in the house.

She had nobody to share the mental load of parenting and general life.

Yeah, that’s the life to aspire to.

She wasn’t there by choice, she was desperately trying to get out of the benefit system. It was there to provide a buffer whilst she needed it. She was hardly living it up on handouts.

RomanyRoots · 21/09/2018 18:20

2.5k per month and moaning about somebody on benefits, heard it all now.
your childcare is expensive why not do your own childcare and save the money.
You have chosen to work, you could easily sah with that wage.
Rent a cheaper house, move, find something better to do with your time than moan about other people.
HTH