How to lower my child’s BMI?

[Poolofjoy]

She is currently on the 99th percentile. About 4 months ago, we cut out takeaways. We had a dominoes every week, sometimes a curry too. Sometimes a McDonald’s as well. Food was pretty processed and crap. Now I cook homemade, healthy meals. No takeaways. I also enrolled her on two after school activities which are great exercise. This is the new lifestyle now, that we are fully sticking to. But, her weight does not look like it’s gone down at all.. will it gradually? I weighed/measured her in July ( under the guise of testing the machine at the leisure centre before I had a go, as I don’t want to make her self conscious ) should I weigh her again to check? I just don’t want her to worry that I’m weighing her again. Should I make more changes?

I have recently moved schools (teacher) and I am appalled - honestly appalled - at the canteen in this school compared to the last one.
The 'cookies' are the size of my face! The flapjacks are at least 4 times the size of what anyone would call a big portion and the pasta dishes are a disgrace- just piles of pasta and plastic cheese with a bit of tom sauce. The pizza is mainly greasy, thick bread.
All these things are available every day. So some kids eat a combination of the above every day, plus a sausage roll at break!
So unhealthy- it makes me so angry.
Hope your DD's school is better. Just alerting you!
Well done on the changes so far.

Fiftyshades I think you and drspouse are actually agreeing in sentiment - sweet foods should not be connected with reward/behaviour or valued more highly than other foods, but just coming from opposite sides of the sentiment. drspouse is just saying that they don't assign value to the food, they just say "we've had enough of that recently" whereas you would say "that's a treat"/we don't have that often.

Where people use "treat" in the way drspouse is describing, as a reward for hard work or good behaviour, etc., it can cause a real problem, because what do you do when a child is good and you buy them a KitKat? Then they start being good every day... Surely they deserve a KitKat every day? Or they get a packet of Winegums for getting 10/10 on their spelling test, once. But then they start getting it every week. Don't they get a "treat" when they ace a spelling test? Then what about their maths test, tennis competition, etc.?

ich are you teaching at my dds school?! As that sounds just like the menu, frustrates me so much. She is overweight and probably has her days quota of calories every day without even finishing her food as it's all massive, fatty, greasy food. Plus they sell sugar loaded drinks

Op I have exactly the same issue with my dd, also 11. Asks for seconds of everything. And I make healthy meals too, and like you I feel bad saying no, i feel like it makes the food too important, an "issue" I suppose. Of course if she finished an ice cream and asked for a second I'd say no, as that is a treat. But when she asks for more chicken, veg and potato? If I say no then I feel she will hear "no, because you're fat" Because why else would you refuse a child healthy food when they feel hungry?

If you know your child has had a healthy portion, then no is that absolutely correct answer! "No, DD/DS, you are not still hungry. Your brain doesn't even know that you have eaten yet because your stomach hasn't started digesting the food that you've just eaten, and it takes at least 20 minutes for your brain to get the message that you've eaten. If you feel hungry, have a drink, because most hunger signals are actually thirst."

Remember that you cannot "run off a bad diet"

If I go to the gym for a whole morning I burn an extra 1000 calories over and above sedentary
Which equates to one large muffin and a latte from the cafe

Weight management is 80% eating less
and 20% moving more

Pool I could have written your post about 10 years ago.
DH and I are the sort who can eat anything, never exercise and have always been slim. DS1 was and still is the same but DS2 started to look chubby around 8/9.
I did what you have done and tried to alter his diet without actually saying anything to him. It made no difference. I felt bad because his brother was as thin as a stick and ate the same.
I realised when he was about 10 that his weight really bothered him and I did what I had shied away from for a long time. I agreed with him that he was overweight and we had a long talk about how to change it. He was so relieved that I had taken some responsibility for it. I drew up a list of foods and meals in red amber and green. He could eat as much as he wanted from the green column, in moderation from the amber and just occasionally from the red. Nothing was forbidden. No second helpings.

Slowly he got thinner until he had a big puberty growth spurt and ended up skinny.
He's 20 now, 6'4" and weighs 11 stone so BMI is 18.7. However he still sticks to many of the good habits he adopted as a child and I reckon he has the body type to get fat if he isn't disciplined whereas his brother is underweight and can't gain an ounce no matter how hard he tries.

What I am saying is this. Your DD knows she is overweight and you may be able to tackle this together if you acknowledge it and talk to her about it.

@AjasLipstick

Thank you for the link to that info, so interesting!

I'm really interested in the idea 11 year olds don't need adult portions. Last weekend we had MIL (age 71 height 4"11') staying with us my active 5"3' 11 year old Dd ate about 1.5 times what MIL did I (age 42 5"5') ate something in the middle. FWIW I run twice a week and do Pilates, but have quite a sedentary job. My 11 year old walks 20 minutes to and from school, does PE twice, lunchtime dance/gym/cross country once each and rides 3 times a week. I think she needs more food than me.

She weighs 40kg so BMI on the 10th centile on the thin side of healthy (v.v early in puberty so not much in way of boobs)

My phone tells me on a non running day I used 1500 kcal, my guess is Dd is closer to 2000, MIL 1200 ??

This is American, but shows calorie need by age for females. If you say your MIL is sedentary, you are moderately active and your DD is active, your requirements by age are 1,600 kcal, 2,000 kcal and 2,000 kcal respectively.

400 calories isn't a lot over the course of a day.

Yes you're right Lougle while some friends DO say "you've been good so you can have some cake as a treat" we also don't call some foods "treat" as then they seem "better".
We do also have to say sometimes "not another banana DD as you had one this morning" for example (she suffers with constipation!). Or oh maybe not pizza, didn't you have that for lunch at school?
So everything in moderation.

Is there any way to put more walking into the normal day?

I find looking for ways to add small increments works for me: like us taking the stairs not a lift when in a shopping centre. Also walking to a local supermarket for small bags of shopping (so not stocking up on everything on purpose! Which sounds inefficient but it's the only way I know I will do regular walking!)

While the evenings are light could you go for a leg stretch after the evening meal?

My youngest is not particularly sporty although we do insist on a couple of activities. We do keep us all moving through popping to the local shops and park frequently. Sometimes I can set the challenge of running to the lamposts and back while I plod along. A frisbee can work quite well too on a nice day.

I think all this normal everyday walking means a longer walk doesn't seem a big deal or if we miss a bus and end up walking for an extra half hour it's no drama.

I realise this all depends on what your local environment is like for parks and walking.

Well done on all your changes so far and good luck.

One idea to tackle seconds is to actually have two courses for dinner.

But make the first one very light - a green salad or a carrot salad, some steamed green beans with garlic, some stir fry veg with just a little ginger and lime, or a low calorie soup, for example.

Then have a small pause to allow the brain to register there is food being consumed, and a glass of water. Then a small plate of dinner.

It makes the meal feel much more substantial and will also trigger a feeling of fullness midway through the second plate. Keep portion sizes small and calories low, but spread the meal across two courses

The thing about seconds is interesting.

We just didn't have them growing up. If you were hungry at the end of the meal you could have bread.

I've mostly gone the same route.

It is definitely easier to overeat if you are using serving dishes (and thus offering seconds) versus plating up a suitable portion.

I find it easy to tell my children they have had enough of the chicken or fish or cake. Because to take more is unfair on everyone else who would have to have less. (I know this can be seen as terrible hosting and I don't take this approach with guests.)

When she talks to you about her work right next time, that’s your in. Ask her what she thinks can be done about it.

Eating school stodge and chips every day, with a cookie, is a big problem, but if you started this in July, it can’t just be that. Her portions must be too big too.

And, did I miss this, is there a reason she can’t take a packed lunch?

You should probably get medical advice because from what I understand, children should not lose weight at all. The idea is to hold the weight steady so that the increasing height solves the problem in the long term, not the short term.
Without proper advice you risk setting her on a life long path of disordered eating.

from what I understand, children should not lose weight at all.
hogwash

DameSylvieKrin do you have some evidence to support this theory?
It's not one I have come across before.

@DameSylvieKrin

She is not a 5 year old with a lot of growing left. She's an 11 year old who is 5 foot. She may only have a few inches of growth left and it is not enough to turn obese into healthy.

Obese children should lose weight. I wish people wouldn't post absolutely nonsense when it relates to health. It's just dangerous.

@Foodylicious

That's the advice given for oversight 2-5 year olds. Basically at that age, you don't want to try and get weight off. You just stick to the amount they should be eating at that age rather than a calorie deficit and as they grow, since they won't be piling weight on they will stretch out. It isn't advice applicable to an 11 year old.

Thanks.
I had heard it applied to younger children, but not to very over weight older children/teens.

@Fiffyshadesofgreymatter I was indeed given that advice by the NHS dietitians who ran the programme my son attended earlier this year.
He is 11and 5 feet tall and in 99th centile for his BMI. His older brother is 6'2" (and on 30th centile) so I'm guessing the youngster has plenty of growing upwards to do. If he lost weight or stayed at the same weight he is now, he would be seriously underweight for that height!
The dietitians do not focus on weight loss -it's so often counterproductive for children, giving them ( different) issues around food. They take a positive focus on healthy eating as part of a healthy lifestyle.