How to lower my child’s BMI?

[Poolofjoy]

She is currently on the 99th percentile. About 4 months ago, we cut out takeaways. We had a dominoes every week, sometimes a curry too. Sometimes a McDonald’s as well. Food was pretty processed and crap. Now I cook homemade, healthy meals. No takeaways. I also enrolled her on two after school activities which are great exercise. This is the new lifestyle now, that we are fully sticking to. But, her weight does not look like it’s gone down at all.. will it gradually? I weighed/measured her in July ( under the guise of testing the machine at the leisure centre before I had a go, as I don’t want to make her self conscious ) should I weigh her again to check? I just don’t want her to worry that I’m weighing her again. Should I make more changes?

Scarydinosaurs
Out if curiosity I have just had a bit if a play with the nhs bmi calculator (child)

And for 11 yrs old, 5ft and 8st 10, it does come up as the very over weight category.

Needs to be about 7st 9 to get in to healthy weight category.

But the bmi is a bit of a crude measure and does not account for build etc

You right it’s such a hard balance between causing an issue and making sure your doing enough. I think you have a really good attitude OP, it’s easy to become defensive about these things. It may just be a matter of time for her to stretch out but addressing the little things it’s good idea so you know your doing all you can. Well done on your weight loss too.

I would say to her if she is eating that at lunchtime then dinner is 'lunch' . No one needs to eat two full meals a day and if dc eat a hot meal at lunchtime then we have a snack for tea .. so maybe give her the option of a healthy packed lunch for school then a meal for dinner ?

Why not get her a Fitbit? The Fitbit app is very user friendly- she can track her fitness improving rather than her weight, and she can become more literate in nutrition rather than just fat vs thin. For example, if she walks to school she might feel exhausted and then find that actually that’s only 150 calories, not even a slice of bread and butter. But at playtime if she runs around with her friends that could be several hundred calories burned. The daily, weekly, monthly, annual graphs are really interesting and the longer you gave it the more rewarding those graphs are!
You can set the ‘dashboard’ screen so could remove calories entirely and have ‘water intake’ or ‘active minutes instead

The key to her long term weight management will be a healthy diet and active lifestyle. I wish my mother had been proactive about this when I was a child.

I would ask if she’s getting access to sweets, crisps etc at school. My DS put on a large amount of weight when he went to high school. I stopped giving him cash as he was spending on a chocolate bar every da, despite me telling him not to, he was also buying toast / sausage barms , crumpets etc at break when he’d eaten breakfast at home. So I cut out all his money. He still put on more weight. I couldn’t understand it, we were losing weight at home (like you) and he was eating a reasonable non rubbishy diet.
It turns out his friends take cash (some £5 per day!!) and buy a pack of 4 chocolate bars or a bag of 5 doughnuts and share or a massive bag of Doritos and share, trouble is they don’t put on weight like he does. It’s very hard, I’ve had to talk to him about making sensible eating choices and he has to take responsibility,could the same be happening with your Dd?

I'm 5' 1" and 8st 10lbs is fat and uncomfortable. Infact I've only been that big when pregnant.
I run though. Would she think about running? Would you to encourage her?
I do have a small appetite but I also think having an obese mother made me aware at a young age small people have to eat less all the time. So what a 5'8" person ate would make me fat.

The idea of having a light tea for dinner as he’s having a heavy lunch is a really good idea. I would totally do that, the only difficult thing is (and I’m not trying to be awkward here) is that sometimes she has just a tub of pasta or a blt sandwich. In which case would a light tea be too little? In which case, I’d then have to be asking her on a daily basis what she’s eaten, to work out what to do for her dinner. She might then start lying about the times she has the chips etc just to get the bigger dinner. Also, and again I’m not trying to be awkward as I’m really grateful to your suggestions, I do like us sitting down together at the end of the day to eat together (ideally the same meal so I’m not cooking separately) and I meal plan food shop for the week ahead. Totally on board to try it though if there’s a way round these probably silly barriers I’ve suggested

Don't focus on trying to perfectly balance meals when she's had a light lunch or a heavy one. You'll go mad. From what you've said it sounds like a fine diet so if she's no losing weight, it's a simple case of upping the exercise and looking at portions.

You do mention her portions are "usual" or "normal" but have you looked at this for guidance?

www.cwt.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/CHEW-5-11Years-PracticalGuide.pdf

And here's the 12-18 guide
www.cwt.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/CHEW-12-18Years-PracticalGuide.pdf

Those are really helpful resources, thank you ajas

@AjasLipstick

That's fantastic. How kind of you to post it.

Tbh, poolofjoy I think you are past the point of 'gently, gently'. You have an 11 year old who is (was?) 55.3kg, which is at 99th centile for BMI and is classified as obese.

I'm not saying that to be unkind, really. I'm saying it because as soon as somebody says anything about treats you could buy to soften the blow, you jump on it, and you've ordered it. You're concerned about limiting her if she's not had a big dinner at school one day, etc. You have to realise that she got this way because you over fed her. She will not starve if she is hungry, I promise you! Grouchy, yes, grumpy, certainly. Starving, no.

My DDs got into the habit of saying they were starving whenever they were bored/tired/at a loose end/in between activities I started to say "no, you aren't starving, you ate at , at the very most you are 'peckish'. Starving is having no food and having to eat beans and rice for every meal, even when you do have food, then having to walk 5 miles for water." Then they'd say "I'm peckish"

DD2 hates eating healthier food, but it's good for her and we remind her that by doing that we are saving her years of dieting in the future. We don't talk about dieting now, we talk about "Move more, eat sensible portions."

You’re right, I just don’t want her to feel like she’s dieting and have been keen to swap treats for healthier alternatives. Just so she isn’t missing out. We’ve completely overhauled our dinners and breakfasts too (yup, we would have pain au chocolates and croissants at least once a week). So hoped as we’d made so many changes that we could still have the odd healthier version of treats when we watch a movie etc. But I think I’ll need to be even stricter by the sounds of things

This week she will have done 2 pe sessions, 1 hour of trampolining, 1 hour of climbing, 3 hours of swimming and a 1 hour walk. This is more than she’d usually do tbh but we can continue at this level and increase it further if necessary?

I honestly think portion plates would solve so many people’s weight issues, as so many people pile on without reakising what a healthy portion actually looks like.

Me and my dc eat our meals off side plates. Dh is the only one who eats off a normal meal plate. he is also the only one with a fat tum

I never give seconds to me or dc. If they are still hungry they have fruit. We never have puddings other than a piece of fruit unless out for a meal. Probably once a month. We never have take out. Dh does when im out though or when he is with friends.

For the portion size at dinner, suppose you're making a recipe, there are 2 adults and one child but usually recipes are for 4.
So you need 1/4 each and she needs probably 2/3 of 1/4.
That means you have just over 1 adult sized portion left over - which she's currently having as seconds.
If we have a hard-to-divide recipe, we serve up an extra portion in a freezer box at the time we dish up (we don't really have serving dishes on the table, except maybe veggies). Then you don't say "oh well it will go to waste if you don't eat it now).

Oh and my DCs have school lunches (Reception/KS1 so they are free so we're not turning that down). We just give them a sandwich in the evening regardless of what they've had at lunchtime. They won't starve if they have a salad at lunchtime and a sandwich in the evening.

I was very struck by an episode of "Doctor in the House" where he helped a young boy also around 99th percentile who had a diet and lifestyle similar to your current one. He discovered that the boy was pre-diabetic and helped him treat it with diet, not meds. His book is great I think, sensible and covers all areas of life, not just food and weight, a simple read, a good one to look at together possibly as a family. It's called The 4 Pillar Plan by Rangan Chatterjee. He's a GP, lovely introduction as to why he changed his attitude to health on youtube

I was going to suggest uping the exercise. What about family activities at the weekend like walking, cycling, swimming, hill walking etc what does she do after school is she active at home? My son is out on his bike/scooter after school or on his trampoline. Fair enough he is 7 might be harder to get an 11 year old doing that kind of thing

"You’re right, I just don’t want her to feel like she’s dieting and have been keen to swap treats for healthier alternatives. Just so she isn’t missing out."

I think perhaps what you're not realising is that your perception of 'not missing out' is quite a lot more than many people's 'normal' diet for their children, though. My children have probably quite a lax diet by many standards, I'm not the sugar police by any means. They have 30g cereals in the morning for breakfast, except DD1, who takes 20p to school for breakfast club, where she gets 2 pieces of toast. They have a packed lunch with 2 sandwiches, 2 pieces of fruit, a yoghurt (choob/frube), a small piece of flapjack/cereal bar. When they come home from school they can have a piece of fruit. Then they have dinner.

We only have pudding at the weekend. Not usually huge, fruit with evaporated milk was a recent throwback to my childhood days! They are allowed 60g of sweets at the weekend.

18change I watched your link and the hours YouTube video of him helping Dotty and her family. So interesting, thank you! Do you have the link for the episode where he helps the child on the 99th centile though, as I can’t find it and would love to watch it

My DD has started secondary school and isn't allowed to buy flavoured water or cookies from the canteen. I've told her quite frankly that it's bad for her teeth and her health and I'm not spending my my money on it. If her peers are having it, well, different families work differently and have different rules. I also told her that she'd thank me when she was older.

She has a hugely sweet tooth and would eat herself into a pretty diabetic coma if left to her own devices. Some children need some firm guidance when it comes to food. She won't have a complex as a result of it.

I still have some work to do on what I see as a normal diet I think!

I find that a subset of parents call sweet foods "a treat" as if they are a reward for good behaviour or something you deserve. We just say "we had sweets at the weekend, they are nice but not very good for your teeth". You don't get them for "being good".
We have sweets very very occasionally, a pudding one weekend day, and maybe one day in two a biscuit or two instead of fruit/crackers for snack but they aren't "treats".

Increase the amount of protein in her breakfast and dinner and reduce carbs/sugar. Hard to control what school is providing. No way to tell if she is having extra at school ? 🤔🤷‍♀️

@drspouse

A treat has nothing to do with behaviour. The definition of treat is "an item or activity which is out of the ordinary but brings great pleasure".

It's just a nice thing that you don't have very often. So in your examples, sweet foods are treats. You may have given that word a different definition and connected it to behaviour but that's not what it actually means. In my house a treat is just that; something we don't ordinarily have. Just like when I get a wee spa day it's a treat for me. I havnt had to behave in order to get It!