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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

next door becoming a playground for non school goers

228 replies

TryingToBeMorePositive · 19/09/2018 16:14

I know I will be told to get my nose out of other people's business and what not but thought I will ask anyway and take the abuse.
I have some neighbours who are eastern european ( I am only pointing this out as non of them speak very good English so I have struggled to talk to them already). They originally moved in as one man, two women and young teenager boy before summer. He did not attend school. Now the new term has started he is still not attending school. Now 2 or 3 women have moved in or spend a long time round at the house and there are more younger boys in the house, I have seen a total of 3 together. There could be more. Now none of these children are going to school. They do not seem to be home educated as the majority of these people spend their time outside so we can see what they are up to, 4ft fences.
I have googled and not come up with an answer on whether I can report the children for not being in education. But I am also unsure whether I should just ignore the situation as it's non of my business. Feel free to tell me and then I can reassure myself to do so. But then do we have an obligation to report this? WWYD

OP posts:
zzzzz · 20/09/2018 19:44

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Curlyshabtree · 20/09/2018 20:34

I think this thread has been derailed somewhat. I live in an area with a lot of kids knocking about during the day, they are not being home educated. OP was right to report. The poster who name changed due to her work in this area obviously knows what she’s talking about and she wasn't’ having a go at home educators.
To the layman (myself) it does seem strange there is not a home ed register of some description.

pouraglasshalffull · 20/09/2018 20:37

Unsure if this has been mentioned, but if they are enrolled in a school and it is an academy, informing your local authority will do nothing. It is the schools problem and the school should deal with it

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 20:38

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Curlyshabtree · 20/09/2018 20:43

Yes, well my neighbour did, she works for council. Some families were unable to get a school place, others weren’t bothered. Some families were referred to the police.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 20:44

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Curlyshabtree · 20/09/2018 21:25

Some are, many have moved away. It is a very transient neighbourhood. It’s a bit of a cycle.

Feelings · 20/09/2018 21:59

Whoever said that most HE would report neglect, they actually don't. They don't because they think anything out of the norm is controversial and home educating is controversial so they support people who are controversial.
I'm telling you I have been to home ed events and there have been children there who are blatantly neglected (not all) and all the other home ed parents said nothing.
They're still home educating. They still attend these groups with their neglected children.
I don't support that. I was home educated myself but was also neglected and abused, I cannot support that.

When I started to home educate I had the idea that these people cared for their children, they were supporting them in the best way, but some would use it to hide away from services that would pursue them for their lack of care, and they know they're doing wrong that's why they choose to home educate in the first place.

Not all are neglected or abused, and I'm not tarring all with the same brush, but I do believe they are ignorant and support neglect. I saw it happen.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 22:06

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Feelings · 20/09/2018 22:18

Well let me say that I'm part of a few big groups in large cities and they're all very much pro home ed/controversial and against school. In fact they give advice how to avoid the local authorities and not be under their radar.
I won't go into further detail as it would be identifying but perhaps you are part of a group that don't support that kind of home education.

Feelings · 20/09/2018 22:19

My point is that they do exist and just because you have had a good experience with select few home edders doesn't mean that they are all like that.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 22:23

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Feelings · 20/09/2018 22:28

Your original post was trying to indicate that you didn't feel those types of home edders existed based on your own groups.
But I'm saying that they do, because I have seen them. It's good you have a supportive home ed group who are doing their best for their children, it's just not like that everywhere though and their are home educators who do neglect and sadly there are some who take these people in and I wouldn't say they support neglect but they are certainly ignorant to it, and treat it like it's controversial.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 22:33

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ektomarie · 20/09/2018 22:55

“PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall

Sorry ektomarie but you are being ridiculous by suggesting that me disagreeing with you is me attempting to shut down your argument. It's actually very manipulative to make that claim. ”

I notice Perm that you actually couldn’t argue with my opinion and instead have tried to call me ridiculous and now have even suggested I’m being manipulative. All you are showing with your posts is your character. Or lack of.

abacucat · 20/09/2018 23:22

zzz The difference is that schools have systems and processes to report neglect and abuse. There is nothing for kids who are HE.
And I remember various HE MNers defended a mother who posted on here and HE, and by what she herself said, was neglecting her kids.
There are some HE who won't hear any criticism of other HE.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 23:31

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abacucat · 21/09/2018 00:48

It is my contention that some HE children and school children are abused and neglected, and that there needs to be systems to pick this up. And I include educational neglect in that. Those systems will not be perfect, no system is, but HE children at the moment can be totally under the radar with no one reporting or even challenging clear neglect.

zzzzz · 21/09/2018 09:05

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Feelings · 21/09/2018 11:51

But I think the message abacucat is trying to tell is that schools are more likely to pick up on neglect than a child who is home educated.

You can not deny that there is no system for home ed children whereby neglect and abuse can be picked up.

As I previously said I was neglected and abused, in my early years at primary school this was picked up by the nurse, back then I'm not sure what the provision was for reporting it but she took me under her wing and made sure I was well fed and dressed at school. Unfortunately I was then home educated and all went downhill from there. The local authority wasn't as involved then as they are now and rightly so. There does need to be more provisions in place.

I believe that most home educators will not accept that abuse and neglect occurs amongst them in a home education setting because it tars what they believe home education should be or is. I don't think they like to think that home education does have people who use it to hide their children who are neglected and abused.

Yes there are children at school who are abused and neglected, but there is a system there to pick up on that and support them. You cannot do that with home educated children.

abacucat · 21/09/2018 12:17

Yes exactly Feelings.
And the issue of educational neglect is ignored by most HE.

zzzzz · 21/09/2018 12:23

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LLAP · 21/09/2018 17:48

If they are not in education or being home schooled/tutored than it is the authorities responsibility to intervene. The fact that they haven't probably means that it is an agreed situation. Home schooling does not have to conform to school hours or days, but is monitored by the local authority. Unless you feel that the children are mistreated in some way I would not jump to any conclusion.

abacucat · 21/09/2018 17:54

zzzz You are totally ignoring the issues. But you are not the only HE I have come across who obviously does not really give a damn about HE children who are abused or neglected.

riceuten · 21/09/2018 18:09

"Not only because children arrive with no notice then up sticks and leave without telling the school,....they will disappear for months at a time then return expecting their place to be left open for them"

We get that with middle class British people as well. They are utterly mortified when we have offrolled their kids

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