AIBU in believing that *generally*, men commit infidelity at a higher percentage than women?

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

I'm arguing with DH about this. Every single survey/paper etc that I can find, except for one possibly slightly unreliable one state that men are statistically considerably more likely to commit adultery/be unfaithful than women.

DH states that this is untrue in the current digital climate. He says in his experience, women are every bit as likely to cheat in this day and age.

I just can't agree with this. Anecdotally (which I know doesn't count statistically), men are hugely more likely to stray, from what I've seen.

Am I wrong? This is causing ructions between DH and I.

YANBU, men DO cheat more than women do. Especially moreso as the marriage/relationship progresses, and they get bored of the humdrum of many years with the same woman, and the drudgery and monotony.

And also, men cheat just for the sake of it, coz they're bored, for a cheeky sly fuck with someone else, and for the thrill and excitement of it. Women won't generally cheat unless they are unhappy in their marriage/relationship, and would not mind it ending.

Many men are also very adept liars, and many won't admit to cheating, even when they are faced with concrete evidence. And when they ARE properly snookered, they will find new and creative ways of blaming their wife/partner.

But some men will say that men can't help it, because men have a 'natural urge' to spread their seed to populate the human race.

Funny really, coz the 'seed' of women is needed just as much to populate the human race, but women don't shag around like men do.

As for the 'men are generally having affairs with women' so the figures must be equal. Not so. Many men have affairs with single and divorced women, and prostitutes. Many of them do not have affairs with other men's wives. Funny really, coz women think nothing of having affairs with other women's husbands.

This thread is going to fill up with women saying their man has never cheated, (but they have,) and men saying THEY have never cheated but every woman they have been with has.

Can't find the link but I read recently that men do cheat more. BUT of the women who do cheat they are more likely to leave their partner for the OM as they are more likely to be emotionally involved rather than a just sex thing. And that women cheating is on the rise.

Lindalee3 can you back any of that up?

Yes. What I said is easily 'backed up...' Just google 'men cheat more than women.' You will get a myriad of articles stating they do. They LIE a lot more too. You can google that as well.. if you can be bothered....

Feminism=misandry to misogynists

Yes, paying for sex is cheating isn't it and men do that, not women. Lots of men abuse women by paying for 'consent'

@KlutzyDraconequus - I'm not trying to convert him, but as feminism is a huge part of my life, conversations surrounding it come up fairly regularly. FWIW we also disagree vehemently on sectarianism, and also a lot of politics. I'm just venting right now on this latest, particular topic.

sounds like a real catch 🙄

Yes. What I said is easily 'backed up...' Just google 'men cheat more than women.' You will get a myriad of articles stating they do. They LIE a lot more too. You can google that as well.. if you can be bothered....

I can be bothered. But as we have said, on this thread the basis for lots of these studies is flawed. Is usual self reporting where no one know what the truth is or can verify what people are self reporting.

If you can be bothered to read the thread

But ... what has infidelity got to do with feminism? I could just about follow an argument saying that women should be as free as men to have affairs even if they are in a committed relationship but I'm really not seeing what is feminist about suggesting that fewer women than men embrace infidelity, regardless of whether you could ever get reliable stats. Where is the equality in that?

What other tenets of feminism do you disagree about?

"They LIE a lot more too. You can google that as well.."

This just sounds like total sexist bollocks. What does your statement even mean?

BTW, my first Google result was that:

"A survey of 2,000 people done by British insurance company Privilege found that four out of five women admit to lying every day, sometimes up to 30 times daily, while male fibbers stood at two out of five."

I thought the statistics in one of the links were interesting. They showed that white, Republican, church-going men were less likely than other men to cheat. Based on my observations as an American, they are very likely to be deluding themselves into thinking that cheating is not cheating, just like they tend to think rape is not rape and harassment is not harassment.

Not RTFT but the people saying it must be 50/50 as the men need women to cheat with, are forgetting that men pay for sex, and very few women do at all.

Amateurish women might be more honest about the fact that they lie. Men, in my experience, are more likely to think their preferred version of events is accurate, even when it is demonstrably not.

I mean women do cheat obv and a lot loads at all my work places and the men too.

The fact that men do it more is a fact though!

Irritates me when facts about men as a group are deemed 'sexist' by men or the women talking about whatever facts they are, are accused of being man haters etc.

Agree men are less honest with themselves.

They have a self image thing that they say is the truth and ignore the truth.

Women are brought up to take responsibility more. Men are brought up to say 'wasn't me!' and boohoo when there is proof and they can't do stout denial. Generalisations obviously but have seen this a lot in life with both children and adults of both sexes.

www.elitedaily.com/women/are-women-likely-to-cheat/1057815

Women are far better liars than men, they are verbally dexterous.

OP - do you mind me asking - but as feminism is a huge part of my life - what does that actually mean?

In my workplace it is pretty equal I would say. Just as many women cheating.
I think women make better liars than men and are less likely to be caught.

In my more general circle of people I know And know of, more women have cheated.

There are more men looking to have affairs than women.

But I'm a woman having an affair

I am a man and think that probably more married men cheat than married women. Though this must either mean that single men are less likely to have sex then single women, or a small proportion of single women have a lot of relationships with married men. Or married men are visiting brothels (possibly the most likely).

Men outnumber women 20-1 on cheating websites like Ashley Madison. That tells you everything.

I also don't understand why you're 'arguing' about this. Looking for every source you can possibly find. Why would you do that? I would find that tiresome and exhausting.

He's allowed to hold a different viewpoint too, did you know?

Why do you need to wear your 'feminism' as some kind of badge? If your husband is saying that you're a 'bitter feminist' then maybe you're parading it rather than actively supporting it? It's not good that he has this thought of you, not good for your marriage either.

Have a proper conversation rather than speaking in rhetoric.

No matter what your PoV you will always be able to find reports, surveys, statistics and studies that will back up your bias.

Men outnumber women 20-1 on cheating websites like Ashley Madison. That tells you everything.

No. All that tells you is men are more likely than women to look for affairs online. It tells you nothing about infidelity with friends/neighbours/colleagues/people at the gym etc etc etc...