To be gutted and annoyed that DD did a degree and now works in Tesco?

[whitman]

DD is 21 and also pretty miserable. She has just had to up her hours at Tesco. She worked there part time while being a student and absolutely loved it for a part time job (only working 1 6 hour shift a week). She is in her 3rd full time week and hates it. She is really upset, to the point of tears. We all told her that she would be better doing a vocational degree (one that actually let to a job).

She applied for lots and lots of jobs that didn't even require a degree but definitely matched the sort of thing she studied.

She then applied to be an RSPCA officer, but unfortunately struggled at interview.

She did Biology with Animal Behaviour.

She doesn't have much work experience honestly.

It's just a shame that she spent all them years and money to end up doing the job she was doing before the degree.

She's very upset and is pretty miserable all the time. Is there hope for the future?

This happens to absolutely thousands of graduates. Try to tell her not to be upset, view the Tesco job as temporary and a big positive for applying for jobs that she aims for (in that she is working). Just keep applying whilst working at the Tesco job.

Please pay close attention, as it sounds like she's becoming depressed. Opportunities will come along. There are several animal charities that foster pets. Volunteering for them might be a start.

Are you in London or the South East? I've been a fosterer for a couple of charities and could point you/her in that direction.

Would she be interested in teaching?

She’s got plenty of time to find a job that she’s interested in. It’s so difficult to get a job after uni as pretty much all employers want experience, which a lot of students don’t have. It’s good that your daughter has worked part time and has continued to work after finishing her degree, so there aren’t any gaps in her employment, and she can get a reference from her current job. Maybe she just needs to keep applying and going for interviews to build her confidence and to get a feel of what interviews are like and what works and what doesn’t.

It took me absolutely ages to find a job after uni and I went to countless interviews before starting to get a bit good and getting work. In the beginning I wasn’t even offered any interviews so whenever I’d get one later on I felt like just an interview was a small victory.

I’d second volunteering or starting off with places like Pets at Home and going from there. Maybe if she’s open minded she might find something that isn’t directly related to her degree but could offer other interesting opportunities. She’s still very young and fresh out of university so she’s got plenty of time to find something she likes.

I know I'm very worried she is becoming so down. Doesn't help her sister enjoys being a "I told you not to do that degree" (sister did nursing). I always tell I'm so proud and she will be ok in the end. She just seems so upset (more upset than I'd expect her to be) about the whole thing. Purposely staying up late so the next day comes around slower? I don't want to call her dramatic as I don't think that's going to help.

We are in the South East! Kind of? We are in Essex.

Definitely seems work experience is a must. I'm unsure how her manager will be about changer her shifts again.. hmm.. will tell her to focus on looking at volunteering instead of jobs I think.

I'm unsure if teaching is her thing.

She has opted for a very competitive field. She needs to volunteer.

Most people I know did at least a year in their student job whilst applying for jobs / graduate schemes. It's just the way it is. She should think about applying for jobs that will give her experience in whatever field she wants to go into (ie if she wants to work in science, get a job at a chemist / hospital / admin at a lab etc) but it's quite normal to have a gap between uni and the start of your career.

OP, we are in the SE and this is the sort of thing DH has a lot of experience in, Reading your update re ecology, planning labs. Please feel free to DM for advice. We’ve been through it all with DH as he retrained in his 20s - so he started at the bottom, volunteering and is now v senior, organising projects and tenders for contracts, recruitment alongside his actual ecology part of the job.

It would be easier for her to interview well with practical experience to refer to. Any animal rescue centres, rspca, pdsa, wildlife trust, petting zoos, farm parks etc where she could volunteer? Or even help out a local farmer or smallholder.

I paid £300 quid for 5 sessions of 1:1 dog training from someone with good sense but no behavioural degree. Just a thought...

"Is there hope for the future?" yes, of course, and I thin volunteering will help.

She seems to have a mental block when it comes to interviewing, would some sort of intensive course or one to one work with a coach specifically about interviewing help?

"I hate seeing her so upset. She purposely stays up so tomorrow comes slower for work and then she's tired. I hate it. I really just wanted her happy."

Your a good mum and care, that's great. She just needs to work some of this stuff out for herself.

I am a night owl, some of us can do it, stay up late and function well but it can bite you you in the ass! I;ve had times of feeling really down and I am sure it is lack of sleep! So early to bed for me!

Op I’m saying this as kindly as possible but maybe take a step back for a bit. It’s hard when you yourself left school at 15. I understand that. But you sound like my dps parents who could never understand why he would want to go to university. They would say over and over he’d have done much better if he went straight into working, that university was a waste of time or that he should do something vocational. He struggled to find a decent graduate level job for the first two years after he graduated and them going on about it really got him down.

He’s not 26, with a graduate job earning double what his parents make and they don’t say those things anymore. Give her time and be supportive. Don’t tell her you think she’s made mistakes in the past in terms of choice of career etc. There’s nothing which can be done about that now and It will just isolate her.

*Jobs she has applied for:

• assistant conservation officer
• RCPSA officer
• kennel worker
• cats protection assistant
• trainee lab assistant
• assistant survey officer*

Did she have any relevant experience for these roles? It sounds like she only has her degree? Has she done voluntary work or any part time work related to animals? She will be competing against people who have experience so her degree alone is not going to cut it unless she's very, very lucky.

As many others have already said, doing voluntary work is the best way to get experience but even voluntary roles with animals are VERY competitive. I volunteer part time for a wildlife charity but I only got the role because I became more and more involved with supporting the charity and eventually they asked me if I'd like to become a volunteer working with the animals. They don't advertise roles. One of the paid staff I work with at the charity used to be a volunteer and eventually she was offered one of the rare paid roles. That seems to be how it works. One of the other volunteers is a student vet and she works for our charity plus volunteers for another wildlife charity. By the time she graduates, she will have a huge amount of experience working with animals. These are the kind of people your daughter may be competing against.

Agree with SandyY2K "Please pay close attention, as it sounds like she's becoming depressed."

I was a cleaner for a while at 23, after failing a Masters, pissed my mother off no end. I was either over-qualified, blah, blah, blah...still needed to eat...don't think she registered the other crap jobs I had.

I think the issue here is that Uni education isn't enough in itself for roles that are sought after. You have to be interesting too and proactive and organised enough to show interest and enthusiasm.

Also nobody should be saying to her ‘I told you not to do that degree’. Especially not her sister. Shut that down.

As she already works for Tesco, why not get in touch with the team there who deal with their animal welfare policy activities? Perhaps she could arrange an informal chat with them to find out what sort of opportunities could be available.

And agree with PPs on the volunteering, she needs something to demonstrate her interest and some trips won’t do that up against other students with a similar qualification who may have got involved in volunteering.

That aside, she could consider setting up her own dog walking service to get something animal related going for herself? I’m sure people looking for this service would be drawn to someone with an animal behaviour qualification that might be a USP for her compared to other services. Then she could reduce her Tesco hours once she has some clients and could perhaps fund some further studies while continuing to look for a permanent role that she wants.

She’s only 21, the shutter hasn’t come down on her career yet!

"She'd be interested in Conservation but most jobs are trainee and they prefer someone with an ecology degree."

Could she do a post grad course in ecology, while working part time and volunteering? It sounds like a lot but a combination of things might be better than one thing she doesn't like much.

Good luck, you sound like a very caring mum.

She only has the experience that she did on her degree which isn't too bad as she took all the field trip modules.

But those are only trips or day trips so nothing that's regular volunteering.

Thanks @RubyWho

Agree with MardyArabella "Also nobody should be saying to her ‘I told you not to do that degree’. Especially not her sister. Shut that down."

DD did a similar degree, then a masters - abroad - and several short contracts, also abroad.

When she stopped that and settled back at home, she also struggled to find work. She believed her itinerant life and a series of short contracts was working against her. She started volunteering with three charities. Two didn't lead to anything directly but the third one allowed her to meet people in the same field, which was absolutely key to getting her where she is now, working as an ecologist. It took 3 years in total, and it wasn't planned, but she got there!

So, tell your DD not to give up but see if she can start thinking about how to fit in something relevant in her free time - could be volunteering , could be contributing to a blogging site on a relevant subject, joining a local committee, or anything! - with a view to it being a stepping stone to better things and to get herself known.

Also, there's no shame in holding down a job in Tesco.

It's such a difficult field to get into, lots of people aren't doing what they want straight after uni. Encourage her, it wasn't a waste

She needs to have relevant experience, not just anything.
Cut the Tesco hours and start volunteering in something around animals.

Are you near any RSPB reserves, could she volunteer at one or join a project with them or another organisation such as NT (friend did regular butterfly counts earlier in the summer, for example).