To think life is kind of shit? We are all just 'surviving'.

[RedBus50]

The stress of work, I work for hours, so I can pay bills, etc.

Can't ever get time off to enjoy a nice holiday. My weekend is filled with the dread of such a busy week.

I'm just always told oh that's adult life.

Bit shit, no?

I survived ovarian cancer a few years ago. I'm happy to be alive, and no it isn't all shit. You are just in one of the stages of life where you feel like you are a mouse running inside a wheel, getting nowhere. It won't last forever like this , believe me.

Do you have any time for yourself? Hobbies? Thinks you like doing? These are my sanity in an otherwise hellishly busy life...I think everyone is really busy these days and you HAVE to make time for nice things (don’t have to cost anything - my favourite thing to do is go cycling) or you will think things are shit.

Yanbu.
I'm constantly trying to shove myself forward and achieve something but have never got there. I couldn't even juggle OU and work .

Why can't you take time off work? You're legally entitled to.
Could you look for a new job you enjoy more or go part time?

I feel for you. Life is like that for many of us I'm afraid. However there is usually light at the end of the tunnel. Things do change - promotion meaning more money, inheritances etc. Sometimes they change almost overnight! So take heart and hang on.

I'm sure there must be times when you feel happier, make the most of those.

It's horrid isn't it. It feels like adulthood is just the period of your life where you work work work to hopefully save enough of a pension that you won't be stuck in a care home until you die. Providing you make it to retirement!!

100% with you OP.

I have to work full time to make sure bills are paid, but that means there's no time for quality family time, and little time for hobbies.

I've had to take so much time off this year for various reasons that I only have 3 days holiday left.

But even if we wanted to go on holiday, we're too skint anyway!

Aahh

I do feel like this too. Even though I really try to have a positive voice in my head, every now and then it overwhelms me. On the face of it, I have a fab life. Just wish I didn't need to work so much and had more time for the family.

We all need perspective though. I actively choose to be and remind myself to be happy!

YANBU.

I spent 30 years in the UK, when I started working I quickly realized that I was never going to be able to have the thinkgs I wanted. I was surviving. The tax system kicked me, the welfare state wouldn’t help.

My realization came when my dad told me that if I can’t win the game, then change the game. So we did we left the UK for a new start and it’s been the happiest time of my life.

Fully with you OP- load of bills this month, fed up of working to survive. Grateful to have my DD but fed up of constant cooking and cleaning....

Life for us here in the U.K. is unimaginably wonderful compared to what millions of other people have to contend with.

We have a healthcare system we can access even when we have no money (yeah it’s not perfect but it is incredible when you think about it!), we have very few natural disasters or dangerous animals, a welfare system, services to help when shit hits the fan and we end up homeless or with mental health issues, a relatively stable government, we’re not at war or fleeing for our lives or being assassinated quietly by our own leaders, we have so much freedom to move where we wish and do what we want.

I just finished reading Nothing to Envy, a book about North Korea. Next time you feel shit about your lot in life I highly recommend picking it up. Life isn’t easy, but we are extremely fortunate. I find it does help to recognise how fortunate we are.

And if you’re not happy, change it! There’s a wealth of opportunity out there to study, enter new careers.

@RedBus50 YABU i love my job, i earn a decent wage. I can take holiday when needed, but never feel the need urgently as i enjoy going into work, nice busy fast paced team.

I have established a good work/life balance.

Life is what you make it. Change jobs. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who moan about their jobs but don't do anything to change it. You spend so much of your life at work, find something you enjoy, or people you enjoy working with

I like the "change the game" thing above.

I read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits book and really liked it but the only thing I remember is when climbing the ladder, make sure the ladder is against the wall you want to climb over.

Better job, different job, extra job, different cheaper area, different country, side gig, cut your expenses, etc. Being on a treadmill makes it hard to see the wood for the trees tho.

I will definitely agree that we are so fortunate here in the UK, and indeed much of the Western world- but to all those posters saying "change it", not very easy. Job wise: I couldn't afford to retrain as that tends to mean taking a pay cut, starting from the bottom in an industry- not easy with a child and a mortgage. Also if Im sick of the cost of living in London, I cant just pick up and live somewhere else, with no family, no support, risking that I could hate it (lots of upheaval at a cost).

OnlyFoolsnMothers

Making the change is as easy as you want it to be. You need to be willing to take a risk.

You don't always need to 'retrain'.

I went from being a retail manager to working in the civil service doing something completely different. Now i have great career progression opportunities and better pay than retail.

When i changed i worked out what paycut i could afford and went for it.

Oooo that's a good quote Waddsup

I know we're lucky but I think it's ok to notice the shitness too. I've recently been single-mothered by 'd'h (cheers mate) and it's twice the work and half the fun.

I think recognising how unpleasant a situation is, is actually necessary to build up the determination to change it. Also some things just can't be changed (bad health/disability) and it's ok to complain sometimes

I'm struggling at the moment and life definitely feels like this. Massive changes at work mean I'm fucked financially. I've paid my rent late the last two months and it will be late again this month.
Lots of medical issues going on, I'm sick of being in pain and feeling exhausted and of not being able to go out without bladder issues. I also have anxiety and PTS issues . No support financially of otherwise from the kids father.

I have no life. My children have SEN and are hard work. I work from home so go nowhere apart from food shopping once a week for two hours. No hobbies, left friends behind when I left exh, no social life. I moved here because family where here but now they aren't and I'm just stuck. There's no community where I live.

I know others have it worse but I'm just really very tired tbh

RedneckStumpy - i wouldnt take a risk now that I have a child to support. I tend to think this is why truly successful people have either nothing to lose or so much they can afford to lose some- those in the middle tend to be the most cautious

I feel a bit like this sometimes. I've changed jobs 3 times in 1 year because I was feeling, tired, deflated and think I'm worth more.
What I do is make sure I have things on the calendar so I've something to look forward to. It helps with the mundanity of work life. The bills will always be there so I just make the most of my free time now. You know that saying "A Sunday well spent brings a week of content".

People in the past expected life to be difficult with periods of happiness. That expectation has changed. Life is difficult for many of us.

OnlyFoolsnMothers

In our situation, we sold everything we had, mailed the keys to the house back to NRAM and declared ourselves bankrupt. 2DC, DH and I flew to the USA and started a new life.

5 years later we have the life I dreamed of at school,

And agree that having things to look forward to makes a big difference.
In terms of jobs, it is impossible for everyone to have jobs that they really enjoy. I used to really enjoy my job, but the whole sector is so much more pressurised now that nowhere is enjoyable like it used to be.

It sounds like it's your job that's shit. Why can't you get a week off? there are laws in this country about that sort of thing (thankfully).

It feels like you're maybe on minimum wage zero hours contract, or in the gig economy if you really can't get a holiday but in that case is your job really so stressful you dread it all weekend? Not all jobs are that bad, really, have a look around.

I have a chronic pain condition and have had to make big changes to my life but I can honestly say that, no, I don’t feel like that at all. Maybe I did before all this but now I feel lucky and happy: Things could be awful but they’re not.

Life’s too short for you to feel that way. Make a change.