To think life is kind of shit? We are all just 'surviving'.

[RedBus50]

The stress of work, I work for hours, so I can pay bills, etc.

Can't ever get time off to enjoy a nice holiday. My weekend is filled with the dread of such a busy week.

I'm just always told oh that's adult life.

Bit shit, no?

I think the key is your job, OP - no-one should be in a job where they feel they cannot take time off. You are allocated a certain amount of holiday by law and if your employer's staff management is so bad that you cannot take it then I'd question whether they are worth working for at all. So a first step would be to start putting out some feelers for another job.

Apart from that, life's what you make it. I've had a really, really, really shit year culminating in the sudden death of my estranged husband. I still have a pile of administrative crap to deal with, a full time job, and two teenagers in an exam year at the same time. It's pretty full on.

I still find happiness in small things every day. I hope you will find your way back to managing that too.

Take a step back. Go back to basics- think about how minuscule we are as one person, on one planet, in one solar sysem.
You are just one living thing. Life is about survival, but enjoying it and being as comfortable and happy in our survival as possible.

Nobody is forcing you to do that job or live your life the way you are. All the ‘stuff’ you have is merely a way of making your survival more comfortable anyway. If you don’t feel happy, change it. You are going to die one day- make yourself happy before you do.

A friend of mine has recently moved her kids (and husband) to Alaska. They are practicing minimalist living and are living in a tent. They weren’t happy and just took off one day.
Sometimes you just have to think, ‘fuck it, I’m done with this’ and change your life.

I just knew the op would be in London.

ok, you cant just move, it is of course not that easy. but your kids wont be so dependent forever. Think long term and give yourself an escape route.

I have been quite ill on a couple of occasions this year and being in hospital has made me really appreciate the simple pleasures. My dog is my absolute world, and we've been out for a lovely sunset walk this evening .... watching the trees all starting to change, the fields have all been ploughed and there was an amazing smell from walking past the cider apple orchard. We just stood and inhaled for a while.

I think once you've had a health scare, it's quite liberating in some ways and things I stressed about a year ago have literally no place in my life anymore.

• I don't know, I work full time too but I still have plenty of time for hobbies and free times and my weekends are action packed with fun.

Why don't you feel like you have time?

I also don't earn much but I have lots of cheap trips away in the UK. Life is what you make it.*

I would find this incredibly difficult to do these days with having a 3 year old and 5 year old. It still takes a while to get the house up, washed, dressed and fed on a weekend. Not to mention the endless chores (washing clothes, folding and putting clothes away, food shopping for the week, cooking, washing up (no dishwasher in this joint) plus pets to clean out and sons homework to do). My weekend gets sucked up by chores and I'm too knackered in the evenings to even think about online shop.

Before kids, having action-packed weekends with little trips away was never an issue. I had more disposable income then as well as bags of time and energy.

I totally hear ya OP. Nose is permanently to the grind.

I think a certain amount of being content is acceptance of the bits you don't like but have no way of changing. It's hard and you have to work at it, but just accepting can be very liberating. I have autism and associated depression/anxiety and a limited capacity for work. When my exh and I separated my household income went from 70k to 6k Pa so I have to use benefits to top up. My employability and my earning capacity are dire in comparison to most peoples, but I'm actually OK with that. I feel fortunate to have the ability to work the few hours I do (between 16 and 20 pw) and I've got a roof over my head and food on the table. I haven't had a proper holiday for over 3 years but I love day trips out to a castle or the countryside, or just a long walk in the woods at the weekend. I've got chores to do but I've chosen to relax my standards a bit so they're not taking up all my time.

What I really struggle with is having a limited social life. I get lonely but don't often have the energy to organise seeing friends as work and parenting use all my spoons (plus my executive functioning isn't great at the best of times). I'm trying to deal with this by planning things in advance in moments when I'm full of energy, so when I'm down and lonely I can look at the calendar and see I've got something to look forward to.

It was easy for me to feel trapped in a life I didn't aspire to when I was first diagnosed with Autism, but out of necessity I had to change my outlook. 3 months after the diagnosis my exh ended the marriage and the changes plunged me into depression. I was suicidal for a long time. It was a case of getting help and changing how I felt about myself and my life, or die. I can't say it's easy now, but I have many moments of joy and I am very content.

BMW6 has the best way of explaining "life"
I've thought along these lines many a time.

I'm just always told oh that's adult life

No, it isn't and it shouldn't. And if it is like this for you, then it is shit, and you are right to complain about it. How to help yourself is another matter and I wouldn't know where to begin. Hope it gets better for you, maybe when kids are older. Maybe you can relocate. Maybe, if you have a partner, they can step up their involvement. I don't know.

It's alright saying making a change is as easy as you want it to be and you just need to take a risk however I am a single parent of children with additional needs and solely responsible for them. I can't just leave my job and I can't afford to retrain .

Agree with you Dorkdiary