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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend is in the wrong not me?

56 replies

Pianolegs · 18/09/2018 12:51

A friend I have known for for 40 odd years has cut off all contact with me. She lives on the other side of the world from me now but we were at school together and saw a lot of each other from the age of 11 until our early thirties.

We have led quite different lives, I had my first DC at the age of 20 followed by two more a few years later. She hasn't got any DC and didn't get married until she was 35.

I have always looked after myself financially and made sure I got a proper settlement when I divorced my first husband, my second husband died and left me our house and some money. Her DH is a low earner and sponges off her a bit and they don't have much money, she still works full-time and I think she is jealous of my financial security.

She was complaining about some chronic pain she suffers from because of arthritis and I was sympathetic at first but she was going on about it and then she got really bitchy saying she wished she had just shagged a few old men like me instead of working all her life.

I told her I didn't like her attitude and that it wasn't my fault her DH is so useless, now she has cut me off on social media and I don't suppose we will ever see one another again.

I can't believe our friendship of so long means nothing to her, I have always tried to be a good friend to her and she does something like that, it's not me, is it?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/09/2018 12:56

Sometimes friendships end, and this one certainly has. It's sad but that's life. She sounds very jealous and insecure.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/09/2018 13:20

Shes obviously feeling a bit low and melhoncoly and perhaps feels inferior to you. . If I'm not be honest you do come over on your post as quite show offy and little miss perfect. If I'm getting that vibe from a post what vibe is she getting IRL. Could you be albeit unintentionally rubbing salt in the wounds.

crosser62 · 18/09/2018 13:26

Doesn't matter who's right and who is wrong, it's over isn't it.

Sparklyfee · 18/09/2018 13:29

You sound a bit like you are always going on about your "financial security" but when she talks about her chronic pain it bores you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/09/2018 13:31

Not should say to. FFS

EK36 · 18/09/2018 13:33

It doesn't really matter who was right. The friendship has come to a natural end, just let it go.

MamaOotie · 18/09/2018 13:40

You sound a bit condescending. I'm sure she's probably picked up on that and has finally had enough. Sorry but I think you were in the wrong.

Badwifey · 18/09/2018 13:48

You do come across as smug in your post OP. And surely if she is married then their finances are joint finances and so he can't really be sponging off her... do I sponge off my husband as a stay at home parent?

I worked hard right up til I had my DD (when i went back to college) and it kills me to see people who did very little bar pop out some kids very early in life in a better financial position. If I was your friend listening to you if have gotten pissed off too.

If you want to keep the friendship I suggest a grovelling apology.

Pianolegs · 18/09/2018 13:48

I was trying to have lunch and enjoy myself when she was complaining to me on Facebook, it is quite boring listening to people going on about their ailments.

I don't mean to show off but I do like nice holidays and having a decent car.

OP posts:
MamaOotie · 18/09/2018 13:54

Jumped straight to goady there OP. You over did it a bit on your follow up post.

Back under your bridge you trot then.

Notacluewhatthisis · 18/09/2018 14:00

I like having nice holidays and a decent cat and, shock horror, I am a single parent.

Never caused an issue with my friends.

You sound like a goady twat. Either shit friend or goady troll

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/09/2018 14:07

Think we have a wind them up and watch they go poster here folks.

I'm hiding this thread now because like the way you get bored of listening to people's ailments. I get bored of listening to smug show offs.
FFS why do I always feed them

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 18/09/2018 14:12

I was trying to have lunch and enjoy myself when she was complaining to me on Facebook, it is quite boring listening to people going on about their ailments.I don't mean to show off but I do like nice holidays and having a decent car.

Is this a reverse? You do come across as smug about your material possessions and very unsympathetic to your friend so yes you are in the wrong.

If this is a reverse that's annoying and you should just be honest that you're posting from your own perspective.

MamaOotie · 18/09/2018 14:13

baby you didn't feed this one, page 1 spot! It was a crap wind up to be fair. Like they were playing MN bingo:

Mother vs child free - tick
Money vs no money - tick
Cock lodger - tick
Complaining about illness - tick
Throw in Facebook and its full house Grin

YeTalkShiteHen · 18/09/2018 14:14

She was complaining about some chronic pain she suffers from because of arthritis and I was sympathetic at first but she was going on about it and then she got really bitchy saying she wished she had just shagged a few old men like me instead of working all her life

What did you say before she “got really bitchy”? Or are we expected to believe that she just went off on one for absolutely no reason?

YeTalkShiteHen · 18/09/2018 14:14

Aw fucks sake, again? Ugh.

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2018 14:15

Lol.

I'm with you op. I always try to enjoy myself whilst having lunch, and someone whinging about their ailments is always a mood killer. 🤣

LagunaBubbles · 18/09/2018 14:16

I like having nice holidays and a decent cat

What makes a decent cat? WinkGrin

Padparadscha · 18/09/2018 14:18

Oh come on. Honestly, how do these people have the time to join MN just to be wind-up merchants? Do you really have nothing better to do?

Thatstheendofmytether · 18/09/2018 14:19

Well she sounds like she might be right.

Snowymountainsalways · 18/09/2018 14:20

Boring!

Thatstheendofmytether · 18/09/2018 14:21

Just read your second post. Nice try 😂

Harleypuppy · 18/09/2018 14:22

Oh pianolegs. You just don't ring true. 'I was trying to have a nice lunch and enjoy myself...' Surely a reverse? Or just not very self aware and empathetic?

Pinkyponkcustard · 18/09/2018 14:23

Loling at the enjoying myself having lunch

frogface69 · 18/09/2018 14:26

It's cos it's windy today. Goady fuckers just blow in.