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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend is in the wrong not me?

56 replies

Pianolegs · 18/09/2018 12:51

A friend I have known for for 40 odd years has cut off all contact with me. She lives on the other side of the world from me now but we were at school together and saw a lot of each other from the age of 11 until our early thirties.

We have led quite different lives, I had my first DC at the age of 20 followed by two more a few years later. She hasn't got any DC and didn't get married until she was 35.

I have always looked after myself financially and made sure I got a proper settlement when I divorced my first husband, my second husband died and left me our house and some money. Her DH is a low earner and sponges off her a bit and they don't have much money, she still works full-time and I think she is jealous of my financial security.

She was complaining about some chronic pain she suffers from because of arthritis and I was sympathetic at first but she was going on about it and then she got really bitchy saying she wished she had just shagged a few old men like me instead of working all her life.

I told her I didn't like her attitude and that it wasn't my fault her DH is so useless, now she has cut me off on social media and I don't suppose we will ever see one another again.

I can't believe our friendship of so long means nothing to her, I have always tried to be a good friend to her and she does something like that, it's not me, is it?

OP posts:
LeftRightCentre · 18/09/2018 14:28

Me, I like breaking into vacant homes and squatting in there for holiday and hitchhiking. It's so much more adventurous and less dull than the ol' Thomas Cook AI package. Who's with me?

Sweetpea55 · 18/09/2018 14:30

Your easily pleased OP with a nice lunch,,,
Your friend doesn't
need you in her life,,,you self centered twat

Padparadscha · 18/09/2018 14:33

Goady fuckers just blow in.

Like a trollish Mary Poppins?

‘Oh a spoonful of sugar helps the bullshit go down’

LeftRightCentre · 18/09/2018 14:38

My idea of enjoying a nice lunch is nicking a meal deal from any high street shop. It keeps people on their toes and extends my financial security by being free!

gottastopeatingchocolate · 18/09/2018 14:40

I am still finding my feet with terminology on MN.

I was trying to have lunch and enjoy myself - is that a euphemism for something? Wink

alligatorsmile · 18/09/2018 14:41

I wish i had shagged a couple of older men instead of working. Apologies to anyone trying to enjoy their lunch. Grin

alligatorsmile · 18/09/2018 14:42

I suppose if you're trying to have lunch AND "enjoy yourself" you'd need something you could eat with one hand like a sandwich or similar.

YeTalkShiteHen · 18/09/2018 14:43

gottastopeatingchocolate I didn’t think there was any sentence in the world that could conjure up the image of someone wanking with a BLT sandwich.

Turns out I was wrong Grin I needed that belly laugh today, thanks!

Oblomov18 · 18/09/2018 14:44

I was a bit slow there.....
Poof ......

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2018 14:46

Ah op, I hope this thread hasn't put you off today's lunch.

To think my friend is in the wrong not me?
Holidayshopping · 18/09/2018 14:48

The trolls really are out in force today!

Padparadscha · 18/09/2018 14:51

I have always looked after myself financially and made sure I got a proper settlement when I divorced my first husband, my second husband died and left me our house and some money.

I know it’s bollocks, but rereading this paragraph is actually really sinister. ‘I’ve always looked after myself’ means taking one husband to the cleaners and the other.... well I sure you got a nice patio out of it op Confused.

Magenta123 · 18/09/2018 14:52

I think, if this life long friend means so much to you then you should've put yourself in her position. She's worked hard all her life, never had kids still skint and now she has a chronic pain illness. I'd be pretty pissed off if my so called friend who'd landed on their feet financially after having kids young without ever working didn't try to understand what I was going through whilst maybe talking about their latest holiday or new car etc etc. Put yourself in her position. You must've said something aloof to cause her to react like that. If money is so plentiful for you then send her a bunch of flowers which I doubt she ever buys herself and tell her you're thinking of her.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/09/2018 15:08

I have always looked after myself financially

Well maybe that's because you don't have a chronic condition like she does.

You sound smug and callous OP

RiddleyW · 18/09/2018 15:16

I like having nice holidays and a decent cat

Can you please tell me your secret? My cat is a right arsehole.

YeTalkShiteHen · 18/09/2018 15:17

My cat is a right arsehole

They all are (that’s why I love them Grin) that’s what gave OP away!

cafenoirbiscuit · 18/09/2018 15:17

I want to see a decent cat.

Pinkyponkcustard · 18/09/2018 15:24

I want to enjoy myself having lunch! (Although maybe not at work)

lexi727 · 18/09/2018 15:31

You sound nice, OP.

bumpsadaisy11 · 18/09/2018 15:35

Wow OP, just WOW!!!

Wildheartsease · 18/09/2018 15:35

Facebook 'friend' 1: Have you seen my decent cat on its latest glam holiday?

Facebook 'friend' 2 I am in terrible pain and must adjust to it being life-long.

Facebook 'friend' 1 Stop ruining my lunch (it is expensive, beautiful and truly sophisticated - see pic) with boring talk about your pain. No doubt you will add more about your poverty or your useless husband next. Now, back to me and my cat...

LittleMe03 · 18/09/2018 15:40

I was with you OP.... until your follow up post Shock all I can say is if this is true then I imagine karma will be on the way shortly.

SinglePringle · 18/09/2018 15:49

The line that gave it away for me was ‘didn’t get married till she was 35’. I means, what an old maid! I’m surprised it hadn’t shrivelled up...

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 18/09/2018 15:56

One of my oldest friends cut me out of her life a few years ago. I think because she had one child but then had complications and could not have a much longed for second... While we have a few. I think that must be it and although it's a shame I understand. Perhaps it's something similar OP.

Havaina · 18/09/2018 15:56

Well that was a waste of 2 minutes of my like OP, thanks.