About the girls in the changing room?

[thewayoftheplatypus]

Will try to keep this brief. DS is almost 6 and swims on a Monday after school. There are 2 changing rooms- one for boys and one for girls. Since we came back from the school holidays 2 new girls have started in the class- their dad brings them. And he chooses to change them in the boys changing room.

Obviously this makes the boys (including my son) very uncomfortable. There is a queue for the toilets they to change in, because they don’t want the girls to see me then naked in the open plan changing rooms. The girls are around 7. The boys at the swim club range between the age of 4-11.

Aibu to want the dad to change them in the girls changing rooms? Would I be unreasonable to say something? Or should he not be in the girls changing rooms because he is a man? (This would have never occurred to me but is the only answer I can think of!)

My DS's would go in the Male changing rooms alone age 6 and 8 but we were the last session so no one else in there, it's a bit of a difficult one, I can see reasons from both sides!

That might be the rules of changing rooms where adults get changed, but in the (few) primary schools I've been to it's always been the child's sex.

How does this work though if you've got teenage, or even 10 year old girls say, changing in female changing rooms with a dad helping his 5 yr old daughter?

Or teenage boys changing with mums helping their young boys in the mens?

It should be adults in the right room for their sex and their children go with them surely?

Many PPs have said that “of course” an adult man can’t take his DDs into the women’s changing room. This may not be true for much longer.
Do you realise that if the self id legislation goes through, any adult man who wants to go into the women’s room can simply claim that he identifies as a woman, and barge straight in? And if you try to stop him, you’ll be arrested for transphobic hate crime?
How do you all feel about naked male bodied adults in the women’s changing room? Are you happy to strip off in front of them? Share a shower with them? Given that 80% of transgender biological males keep their male genitals. Personally I’m appalled that women’s safety, privacy and dignity are potentially being sacrificed on the altar of trans rights.

@Babdoc

These are adult women going into the male changing rooms though. The dad is in the correct changing room ie the mens

This swimming pool seems to have a very strange set up, I’d consider moving swimming pools to one that has a family changing area. Women in boys changing rooms and men in girls???

Do you realise that if the self id legislation goes through, any adult man who wants to go into the women’s room can simply claim that he identifies as a woman, and barge straight in? And if you try to stop him, you’ll be arrested for transphobic hate crime?

Yes, sadly I do.

Do you not think maybe some of the boys are embarrassed by a woman in the changing room?

So was this whole thread a convoluted setup for another self-ID discussion?

So was this whole thread a convoluted setup for another self-ID discussion?

I thought it was some kind of reverse thread to counter all the threads about mums taking their sons in female changing rooms.

YABU OP. By the rules of the swim school we go to it's you who is in the wrong changing room.

Our rules are that women are not allowed in the men's changing room and men are not allowed in the women's. Up to the age of 8 children should change in the changing room for the gender of the adult accompanying them. So you and your DS would be in the girl's changing room. Over the age of 8 they have to be in the correct changing room for their gender. Parents are not allowed to accompany them into that changing room unless they are the same gender.

My DS2 (aged 13) will not get changed when there are little girls in the boys changing room, accompanied by Dads. It drives me mad because he waits until they've gone so it takes ages for him to get showered and changed. If he's put off by a 7 year old girl being in there he absolutely would not want adult women in there!

Presumably you don't have any teenage pupils or male swimming teachers at your swim school OP - because if you did you would realise that YOU ARE IN THE WRONG CHANGING ROOM!

Do you realise that if the self id legislation goes through, any adult man who wants to go into the women’s room can simply claim that he identifies as a woman, and barge straight in? And if you try to stop him, you’ll be arrested for transphobic hate crime?*

Oh babdoc not everything is an opportunity to get on your self id soap box.

The only things this man is identifying as are a MAN and a FATHER.

This thread is not about transgender, it is about a biological man being in a dressing room for biological males. The OP a presumably biological female wants him to go in to the dressing room for for biological feemales because, she a biological FEMALE wants to change her boys in the male dressing room and having girls in there is "embarressing"

The adult male is not naked in the male dressing room, and ok nor would he be in the female dressing room, he is changing his children ready for swimming. The same as OP is doing, only he is doing it in the dressing room designated for his gender, it is OP and the other mums that are in the wrong gendered dressing room.

I presume yes this man has got his male gentalia yes as hes clearly identifing as a man!

*How does this work though if you've got teenage, or even 10 year old girls say, changing in female changing rooms with a dad helping his 5 yr old daughter?

Or teenage boys changing with mums helping their young boys in the mens?*

I said primary, so younger kids only (not teenage) . Also in my cases the kids were all the same age anyway so when the older ones were in there they wouldn't need any adults in at all.

With primary schools it makes sense to stick to the child's sex if they are all about the same age. The problem with the OP's school is the mix of ages.