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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About the girls in the changing room?

87 replies

thewayoftheplatypus · 17/09/2018 16:28

Will try to keep this brief. DS is almost 6 and swims on a Monday after school. There are 2 changing rooms- one for boys and one for girls. Since we came back from the school holidays 2 new girls have started in the class- their dad brings them. And he chooses to change them in the boys changing room.

Obviously this makes the boys (including my son) very uncomfortable. There is a queue for the toilets they to change in, because they don’t want the girls to see me then naked in the open plan changing rooms. The girls are around 7. The boys at the swim club range between the age of 4-11.

Aibu to want the dad to change them in the girls changing rooms? Would I be unreasonable to say something? Or should he not be in the girls changing rooms because he is a man? (This would have never occurred to me but is the only answer I can think of!)

OP posts:

rainbowsandsmiles · 17/09/2018 18:09

In this case OP has explained there are 2 changing rooms- one for boys and one for girls.

Where's the dad supposed to take his children to get changed then if he's not wanted in the male changing room and he's not wanted in the female changing rooms?

I am a mum taking my sons into the boys changing room (along side around 20 other mums!)
So you're a mum taking your child into a mens changing room and then complaining that there's men in it?!

HiHoToffee · 17/09/2018 18:09

I can't imagine many 10-11 year olds want to be seen naked by their mates' mums

If there so many of you in there then surely you can shield your sons from the girls view. Hooded towels can help too.
Bizarre.

rainbowsandsmiles · 17/09/2018 18:10

This thread's a lil batshit, truth be told. 20 mums in the male changing rooms and then waaahing as there's a man wanting to get changed in it?
Ooookay.

bigKiteFlying · 17/09/2018 18:12

Up until around the age of 8 children who need help from a parent to change should change in the right changing room for the parent.

^^ This though I once had a woman throw a fit becuase in busy shopping area DS then 4 was in with me and two sister in loo queue none of the children enough to leave.

I don't think the 10-11 year olds are going to be comfortable with grown women standing round in the male changing room TBH.

Purpleartichoke · 17/09/2018 18:12

My Dd became very conservative about nudity by age 4. She would have been furious to find a boy in her changing space. There is no chance she would have changed in his presence. So it seems perfectly reasonable to me that the boys are uncomfortable as well.

FinnegansWhiskers · 17/09/2018 18:14

Where's the dad supposed to take his children to get changed then if he's not wanted in the male changing room and he's not wanted in the female changing rooms?

Over 7's change in the changing room designated for their sex.

Under 7's change in the changing room designated for their parents/carers sex.

whoareyou123 · 17/09/2018 18:14

obviously a fully grown man can't be in the girl's changing room!

But it ok for loads of fully grown women to be in the boy's changing room?

VickyEadie · 17/09/2018 18:20

Hmmmmm....

Oddcat · 17/09/2018 18:25

Don't people do the towel thing any more ? My mum used to hold the towel round me while I changed - no problem.

VickyEadie · 17/09/2018 18:28

It's this 'five year old boy objects to two girl children seeing him naked but is fine with a large number of grown women' thing that I find a tad suspect.

rainbowsandsmiles · 17/09/2018 18:29

Hmmmmm....

Yep, my thoughts too.

But it ok for loads of fully grown women to be in the boy's changing room?

Exactly, 20 women in the mens changing room?! Sounds like a bit of a free for all and people taking them wherever the hell they like anyway!

Allyg1185 · 17/09/2018 18:34

My ds 7 attends swimming at the local high school so no adults and no public. I take him into the boys changing room as he wouldn't want to go into the girls. I turn my back to the rest of the boys so not to make them uncomfortable. And yes I do need to go in with him or I would b there an hour waiting on him putting on one sock!

However at this school there is around 10 individual changing rooms which if there is any free I will use instead.

SD1978 · 17/09/2018 19:12

So the boys didnt mind getting naked in front of all their mums and friends mums.....but object to little girls getting changed.......

womanintrousers · 17/09/2018 19:13

So every changing room is a family changing room, essentially. There is no sex division at all?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 17/09/2018 19:17

Can you imagine the thread if he did get the girls changed in rhe female changing room

Op i appricate that you say theres no women changing in the female dressing room but there are girls.

Im not one to call peado round every corner im actally quite pro men! But i can imagine there would be a lot of mums beimg uneasy about a man in a girls changing room.

Like a few others i think the embarresment is more about the adult women in the dressing room than the two 7 year olds.

You do realise at 5 your son will be getting changed for pe in the classroom with shock horror GIRLS

GunpowderGelatine · 17/09/2018 19:22

YABVU, FFS. Men do not belong in the ladies changing room. If you were there would you be going in the men's with him?

rainbowsandsmiles · 17/09/2018 19:33

If you were there would you be going in the men's with him?

OP is in the mens though - her and a load of other mums are going in the mens and then complaining when there's men in it.
I think I've got that right anyway lol

BrownPaperTeddy · 17/09/2018 19:36

I am a mum taking my sons into the boys changing room (along side around 20 other mums!)

Why are the mums in the male changing rooms?

Surely that isn't right?

If the boys are young enough they go into the ladies changing room with their mums.

Over 8 they go in male changing room on their own.

Women shouldn't be in male changing rooms and men shouldn't be in female changing rooms.

GunpowderGelatine · 17/09/2018 19:42

Fucking hell OP, get out the men's changing rooms! The kids follow the parents into the changing room of the parent's sex. Thems the rules

mikapatika · 17/09/2018 19:49

Oh in that case you are being super unreasonable you should be in the ladies as you are female your child goes with you

rainingcatsanddog · 17/09/2018 20:21

Sounds like the pool needs some signage.

Normally the Dad is right by using the mens with his daughters.

If no adults ever get changed in the changing rooms then I can see why some people assume that mens means boys instead.

Are the changing rooms marked Boys/Girls or Male/Female?

rainingcatsanddog · 17/09/2018 20:22

Or Men/Women?

ShalomJackie · 17/09/2018 20:28

And what a shame that the talk seems to have not sent the actual correct message to.your son! Perhaps be more concernes about that.

BackforGood · 17/09/2018 21:11

OK. This is getting weirder.
What on earth are you - as a Mum I'm guessing you are a woman - doing in the boys changing room ?

this is a bit of a mixed up situation all round.

whoareyou123 · 17/09/2018 21:17

The kids follow the parents into the changing room of theparent'ssex. Thems the rules

That might be the rules of changing rooms where adults get changed, but in the (few) primary schools I've been to it's always been the child's sex.
*

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