AIBU - splitting petrol costs

[ZanyMobster]

DH, my brother and I disagree on how petrol costs should be split between families. I will drip feed slightly as I think if I put the full history it will skew the answers a bit (nothing huge but just a slight omission) but I will post again after a few answers.

Scenario - 2 adults and a child from one family and 1 adult and a child from another family travelling in a car.

Option 1 - split 5 ways and charge per person
Option 2 - split 3 ways between the 3 adults
Option 3 - split in half, half each per family.

I am guessing no way is absolutely correct (and I totally get that it is a minor problem either way) but I would really appreciate your views. Thanks.

Aaah this kind of meanness saps all the enjoyment out of stuff... also £46? Like he wouldn’t round down to £45!
I would do 50/50 if I even did it at all.

I agree custardy, I would expect to have paid 50/50 regardless of adult/kids as it's family. It is a regular event and DH drives majority of the time. They are going again in a few weeks, DH, DS1, my dad and DB so I have said to DH to split it 3 ways and exclude DS. My dad would automatically offer and transfer that week, we will have to wait at least 6 months for DB to pay!

50:50 but if anything the person driving and has the car pays less or the other family buys them a coffee cup of tea as a thank you x

Depends how far! Prob option 3

If it’s a regular thing then I wouldn’t pay or expect payment at all - it would all even out.

Sorry x posted after everyone else!!!

Stop taking your brother and let him make his own way there.

Exactly Need, same way as £34 rounds down to a £10 split 3 ways. It all seems so daft but I wanted to check that I was not being too generous by saying 50/50. I definitely think with families 50/50 is fair, he was just a CF to accept DH being too kind last time then splitting it this way this time.

DB is really nice but just a nightmare when it comes to money. We will definitely just agree in advance in future.

Sounds so petty really, it's not massive amounts of money.

So your DH paid 23 instead of 18.40 (had it been split proportionally). We are talking 4.60 difference. To be honest, while in the situation described in your first post (2 families, both with a child) I would also go 50/50, somehow having a single adult come along in a family car (your DH and DS), the ‘give me a tenner’ seems right too.

londonrach totally agree.

custardy they don't take it in turns, DH usually drives, they do go fairly regularly. We would never expect more for taking our car.

I hate going out for big group meals because of this sort of thing, I always feel so uncomfortable unless it's all agreed in advance as there is always someone who feels hard done by.

If I was going somewhere anyway, I wouldn't ask for petrol money from my family.

You are quibbling over a fiver! Just pay half, and note to split 50/50 next time (and check DB has his wallet on him when you pick him up).

If I was going somewhere anyway, I wouldn't ask for petrol money from my family.

Quite. If it's a regular occurrence and you always do the driving (especially if you would rather not) you might want an arrangement, but for occasional days out?!

Positive - I do get that but they do it to save both parties money otherwise the events would be too expensive for one person all the time, it's not like one family would go anyway, they arrange it together, also DH does the lions share of the driving so I definitely feel petrol should be shared a bit but it seems unfair that DB is happy to pay less when it's his share but for DH to pay more when it's DHs.

Ah, if it IS regular and shared I'd just expect to pay all when I drive and not at all when I don't.

Dropzone - definitely no quibbling over a fiver, DH paid half straight away. He was just a bit miffed because of last time. There needs to be a topic that is not as strong as AIBU, maybe am I slightly miffed about this really pathetic minor issue that really doesn't matter.

It is a regular occurrence, I agree re occasional days out.

So you learn a lesson for the future - DB likes to split petrol costs 50:50. I'd be inclined to confirm that by responding to the received text with something like "Okay, thanks for driving, will transfer/have transferred £23 for half of the petrol money". Then you know you can ask for half of your costs in future and, if need be, reference the current text conversation.

Sorry Paper - I think I have confused matters, it is regular but DH will be drives pretty much every time, until now it has just been him and DB. The last time it was him, DS and DB so DH split it 3 ways even though DS is only 12. This time is the only time DB has and will drive, it was purely due to a logistics issue that he drove.

Eggysmom- yes definitely. He genuinely isn't a horrible person, just in his own world half the time.

Distances vary from 60 miles to 200 miles so costs of course vary. I think it is fairly easy to guess the event now ha ha.

I have never asked family for petrol money. If I offer to drive then that's up to me and I pay it. I wouldn't even think to ask. They usually get me some food or something when we're out, and the same if they are driving. I can't imagine spending my life arguing over £20 here and £20 there.

make sure you deduct the money he owe your DH from the previous trip

I'd be a bit peed off too after your brother only paid £10 last time and had his lunch paid for!

Spacezombies - no one is arguing at all, I just asked for some opinions, I have made it clear it's not a massive deal. DH has not offered to drive, it is just how it works out. And yes I agree it should work like that but it never would with DB. He would never offer to get food or something when out as it would never cross his mind, him and SIL often talk about owing each other a tenner and stuff. Totally beyond me.

Honestly Drink, we would never do that, it's not enough to worry about. It is nice to have opinions from others over it though as sometimes we probably let DB get away with stuff as he's so useless with money.