To feel put off my husbands new beard

[Pineapplepassion]

Ok, I know this is a very minor problem, very first world but it's having a big impact on my relationship. I just need some opinions and advice to help me as I know it's unreasonable.
My husband grew a beard while we were apart, due to work for a couple of weeks.
I really detest it, it scratches me when we kiss and I don't fancy him or want him near me because it looks like my Dad and brothers beards and it feels so weird.
He loves it, I can't ask him to shave it off as that would be unreasonable, I wouldn't want him pushing an opinion on me regarding my hair or appearance, but I hate it so much, it's affecting our relationship.
Any ideas to help me get used to it?

Honestly, with regards to the scratching, it defying how old it is. The first few weeks are scratchy, but after a little while, as it gets a bit longer, it will soften so won't a tear her so much. My husband has a beard, which he grew 6 yrs ago when he had a few weeks off work. He'd attempted it a few times but always gave up after a week or so, but this time he committed. I really think it suits him and when I look back at pictures from our holidays the year before I see how much it suits him now.

*defying = depends

You will probably find that he misses his face and shaves it off of his own accord. My DH has had a beard for years, but in the early days, I'd persuade him sometimes to shave it off because I missed his face. The last time he did it though, I realised how much like his mother he'd become (I dislike her) and kissing his soft face felt like kissing a woman. It was kind of like getting off with his mum (🤮 x a million) so he hastily grew it back and it'll be there forever now. 😁

Totally sympathise Pineaple passion.
I absolutely hate them, especially this hipster fashion for really long thick beards , makes me shudder.You are not being unreasonable !!

I have the exact same thing. Beards remind me of my dad and it freaks me out to kiss intimately when my dh doesn't shave. I don't mind the look but the feel creeps me out. I've basically had to just flat out refuse his advances when he goes a beard and he then shaves. I feel bad but psychologically I can't get past this connection with my dad! I tell him it would be like me wearing his mothers perfume and he does get it so does shave but I have to remind him!

My husband has one and it's now white.I find it quite alarming as it's like kissing his Dad.!!
He loks so much nicer and younger when he does shave

Aria I said almost the same thing about his mum, that if he imagined me with a wig the same as her hair and wearing her cerise pink lipstick he would be put off for sure.
You've given me a good idea re the perfume though!

YABU beards are sexy. But actually if it reminds you of your dad and brother then maybe YANBU.

DH has a beard because I told him I like beards.
If he told me he preferred my hair to be straight rather than curly he
would be offered the chance to find a new wife.
Some things are not equal between the sexes.

Ugh. YADNBU. Beards are wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. My LO cries at people with beards... that says it all for me. Ew.

I hated my husband's beard. I didn't tell him, because obviously it's completely his choice but he could still tell. He eventually shaved it off after a year - thank goodness!!

I would tell him! My DH knows that a beard is out of the question, but if he didn't, I would set him straight pronto.

By all means tell him that you really hate them and do/would find him a lot less attractive with one - even drop some non-too-subtle hints that no beard = more bedtime action (or, if you must, beard = no more bedtime action), but that sounds like a very controlling proclamation to make.

"My Missus wouldn't dare to let me see her without her full make-up on - she'd soon hear it from me in no uncertain words if she stepped out of line and suddenly tried to stop using it."

DH has a beard because I told him I like beards.
If he told me he preferred my hair to be straight rather than curly he
would be offered the chance to find a new wife.
Some things are not equal between the sexes.

What isn't equal? Are you saying that he likes to try to please you when you express your preference in men, but you would dump him if he even dared to mention what he finds particularly attractive in women - and that's OK, but not the other way around?

Your statement sounds very controlling and both anti-man and anti-woman at the same time.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I think your hyperbole detector is switched off.

@TomPinch

I enjoy a lighthearted laugh as much as anybody, but neither of these posts seemed in any way to be joking. I'm just a bit wary of apparent one-way 'bantz'

My husband grew one a couple of years ago and I hated it - he was full on grizzly. He shaved it off and I absolutely hated that too! He looks about 12 without it! So he's grown it back on the condition he gets it trimmed every month/ 6 weeks when he gets his hair cut. Works for us.

Go on a shaving hiatus yourself. Armpits, legs, and vagina... let it grow long with wild abandon until he shaves his off. See how long he keeps his beard then

Tell him it smells like it’s harbouring food. I quite like my OH’s beard (I’d miss it if he got rid of it), and I can’t see him ditching it. However, he almost ditched it when I tried to gently let him know it smelled a bit garlicky.

If it wouldn't hurt your feelings if he said something derogatory about how you look then tell him but otherwise you will get used to it as it makes him happy. I do get the not looking like your male relatives - I never dated blonde haired/blue eyed men and it took me ages to realise it was because of my Dad/Brother haha. What if you talked about it being shaped differently? Good luck.

My DH grew one - I couldn't even look at him I hated it so much.

Eventually, after about 6 months I cracked it by saying "I don't know why somebody as handsome as you would want to cover their face up"

I was really put out that it took so long though because I have the hairstyle that I have specifically to please him. :(

DH prefers my hair long and I prefer him either without a beard or with a bit of stubble, we’re both totally fine with doing as the other prefers.

It does suit us both more too, which is a plus.

I feel your pain DP goes through stages (his facial hair goes really quickly) and I hate beard stage. However I wouldn't be impressed if he commented or was rude about my appearance (have gained a lot of weight) so nothing I can say or I'd be hypocritical

I am reminding myself I love and fancy him for who he is (I really do hate it though )

I love beards. HTH

I bloody hate my husband's beard. He's had it for the last four or so years. He does trim it every now and again but I wish he'd just get rid of it.

I love my fiancé’s beard and moustache ! I would hate him to shave it as he would not look like him!