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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when SIL encoraged her DS to pee on my garden?

64 replies

snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:30

Very briefly my SIL has a DS three weeks younger than my DD. They play together often and last week she brought DS over and we spent a lovely day in my garden. Both kids are just over 2 and potty training "ish", her DS has been much quicker to pick it up than DD who is just not ready. The two kids ran round the garden, him naked, DD in nappy and t shirt. I had provided a potty, but when it looked like her DS needed a wee she encouraged him to "water the grass" and three time he purposfully peed on my lawn, laughing as he did it. Now I know there may be accidents and that doesn't bother me, but I do think it's a bit gross and anti social to actually encourage him to do it......am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 09/06/2007 15:32

No, I think it's horrid too

I would have said "We don't like wees on the grass where we sit, please wee here instead"

show receptacle

tuppy · 09/06/2007 15:32

I wouldn't ba happy either at the active encouragement of this, but when needs must alfresco weeing can be useful. But I'd have made him go in a dark corner of a flowerbed if the potty couldn't be reached.

lulumama · 09/06/2007 15:33

flowerbed would be acceptable, or down a drain, but maybe not the grass

fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 15:35

well it wouldn't bother me really, tbh. but it clearly bothers YOU and it is your grass.

I don't think either side is being unreasonable. I think there are different standards. Its your house so you have a right to have your standards upheld to an extent, so long as your SIL knows them.

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:40

I wouldn't mind but I had brought a potty out as I know it isn't easy for them to "hold on", I think it annoyed me more that it was all done infront of DD who we deffinatly wouldn't encourage her to do that. Has might put me off inviting them up again unless it's a wet day!

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 15:41

but does SIL KNOW all that snuggle?

If so, then yes, she's in the wrong. But if not-she may well have thought it didn't bother you. It really doesn't bother ME, the rain will wash it away.

BarbieLovesKen · 09/06/2007 15:41

No your not being unreasonable. How ridiculous! is she going to teach him to poo on your doorstep too?

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:41

she she has got me so I can't even post correctly!

Meant to so mighty put me off

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 09/06/2007 15:43

Yes agree you have to SAY if someone is doing something in your house / garden that you don't like

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:43

fillyjonk, your right, I didn't say anything, just recoiled in horror when she said it , I guess I though by bringing a potty out for them it was obvious where I would prefer them to wee, accidents permiting. I need to be less passive and not afraid to offend people... this must be my mantra from now on

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 15:44

yes and we don't know if she DOES

If she's doing something you don't like KNOWING then thats very different to just having different standards.

She may be FUMING with you over something similar that she thought OF COURSE you should know not to let your dd do

fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 15:44

sorry x posted

you really do need to tell people up front, i think. its only fair, if its upsets you this much!

But why are you so angry? its only wee!

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:48

I't not really that it's only wee, cos it is only wee, have had to deal with a lot worse as a nurse I guess I just think it's not really a socially acceptable thing to encourage a child to do.

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 15:55

hmm.

i do see that

i must say i'd never encourage my kid to do it on someone else's lawn.

but tbh, my kids and my friends kids-we've seen them all through potty training, its normal to me, tbh. They all run about bare bummed, at all of our houses, its easier that way.

gess · 09/06/2007 16:00

A child doing this wouldn't bother me (when we stayed in the yurt we were asked to wee on the grass- ladies too- as the compost toilet needed to stay dryish or something). Agree that if it bothers you enough to make you fume you have to say something (when it then becomes unreasonable of her to do it).

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 16:03

I am such a wimp, I will prob spen the rest of summer avoiding inviting them up rather than face the problem

OP posts:
4sonsmum · 09/06/2007 16:05

well i would have an urge to get my flip flops on!I know there is cat and dog wee probs already there - but no thanks!

BarbieLovesKen · 09/06/2007 16:11

completely agree 4sonsmum, Why is she teaching her child this type of behaviour? - at the end of the day I know potty training is hard, of course there are accidents etc.. Would completely understand if you were out walking or picnicing somewhere with no quick access to a toilet - by all means! but for Gods sake! - a potty nearby and a toilet inside - whats this going to teach him? why bother training him if hes just going to "go" anywhere at all? - I thought the point was to teach children to use the toilet

dramaqueen · 09/06/2007 16:43

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. They are only ffs! I couldn't care less if kids wee in my garden. What's the problem with it?

dramaqueen · 09/06/2007 16:43

They are only 2 I mean!

fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 16:45

nah don't hold with potty training, really

they just get on with it in their own time, IME

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 16:47

drama, I woudn't care if it was an accident, but surely it's not ok to encourage him to do it?. He had enough control to hold it till she said to him to 'water the garden'

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 09/06/2007 16:57

snuggle, you are clearly and that is what matters

so SAY something. either to her or to ds eg "no SIL's DS in this house we at least try to wee in the potty"

or make up some tale about wee and your lawn, dunno WHAT

NKF · 09/06/2007 17:01

Why three times if the first time bothered you? If it made you that cross why didn't you say something?

berolina · 09/06/2007 17:03

Agree with filly. I think it would only bother me atm as am pg (CMV issue) and otherwise not particularly (not in a 2yo - it would in an older child, though), but if I didn't like it I would politely but clearly say something.

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