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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when SIL encoraged her DS to pee on my garden?

64 replies

snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 15:30

Very briefly my SIL has a DS three weeks younger than my DD. They play together often and last week she brought DS over and we spent a lovely day in my garden. Both kids are just over 2 and potty training "ish", her DS has been much quicker to pick it up than DD who is just not ready. The two kids ran round the garden, him naked, DD in nappy and t shirt. I had provided a potty, but when it looked like her DS needed a wee she encouraged him to "water the grass" and three time he purposfully peed on my lawn, laughing as he did it. Now I know there may be accidents and that doesn't bother me, but I do think it's a bit gross and anti social to actually encourage him to do it......am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BrothelSprouts · 09/06/2007 17:05

Say something or move on.
He'll be fully toilet trained in a few weeks anyway, so the problem will resolve itself.
He's not going to be piddling on Aunty's grass when he's 15 is he?
It's really, really not worth risking ill feeling over, and certainly not worth avoiding them.

Original poster
snugglebumnappies · 09/06/2007 18:53

Agree I should say something, brothelsprouts, thing is I don't think this has anything to do with being "fully potty trained" I think she will still be encouraging him to do it when he is.

TBH I was only seeing it as an anti social thing, but if we are bringing health issues into it I have a 3 month old and don't think it's very nice to put him down on a blanket when the grass has been pee soaked

Right, will get over it now and go and sulk about it in quiet

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 09/06/2007 18:55

I couldn't give a monkeys about a bit of baby wee in the garden. Come to think of it, I don't bat an eyelid when friends' children (or my children) piddle on my carpets either. Kiddy wee just isn't all that noxious to me for some reason.

If it bothers you though, your SIL should respect it, as long as you've made it clear to her that you object. If you haven't...well, lots of people don't mind little kids weeing outside, it's not something she would necessarily assume.

Greensleeves · 09/06/2007 18:56

you'll find your garden is in fact socked in piddle and poo from at least 30 different species of creature anyway - it's just a function of the planet we live on I'm afraid

Aloha · 09/06/2007 19:03

I wouldn't mind. Am genuinely astonished that it would bother anyone so much. If you don't like it, that's OK, but you have to tell her. She's not a mind reader.

Aloha · 09/06/2007 19:05

And agree with greensleeves - your grass is covered in urine and excrement of thousands of creatures, from foxes to birds and insects. A bit of baby wee isn't going to change much.

goodmorningday · 09/06/2007 22:09

when potty training my son and using a potty he would only wee in that potty...he would not use any other potty..at friends, playgroup etc, which made progress very slow so we had to let him know that when you need to go you pee in any potty, toilet or bush....i didn't want any anxiety about holding on, so my son wees on the grass in my beautiful garden...it doesn't scorch the grass so i have no problem with it.... though when they are completely trained i would think its lazyness not using the toilet and after a certain age i would think its inappropriate.....

bettybobo · 09/06/2007 22:12

my friend dd is potty trained before my ds. She tells me that pee is good for my flowers, so tips it there. Is this true?
Or is she being too lazy to tip it down loo?
i did just believe her without question, at the time

FluffyMummy123 · 09/06/2007 22:12

Message withdrawn

newlifenewname · 09/06/2007 22:14

Yes weeing in bushes fear is a real PITA so I often encourage this activity, just not generally on friends' lawn.

MadamePlatypus · 09/06/2007 22:16

I think wee is supposed to be good for compost.

There was a stage with DS when he would have got the grass wet either way, and we were just happy if he remembered to remove his pants.

Anyway, if it upsets you just say - your house, your hospitality, your rules.

Genidef · 09/06/2007 22:18

i haven't read everything and this usually means I come out with some total non sequiter and kill the thread but:

don't like it, and wouldn't encourage it when there's a potty available because it could result in the child thinking creatively about where to loo INSIDE as well.

Since there was a potty available, it would have defo been POLITE of her to encourage her son to use it in your garden really. In emergencies, whatever, he's two. but i'm sure that's not your issue either.

when i lived in EEurope, the men weed outside with disturbing regularity!!! a practice which was NOT attractive. of course, this is different but best not to really go there me thinks.

IlanaK · 09/06/2007 22:18

It would bother me enormously too. In fact, I have a friend whose son is 5 and when we are out together, he often needs "tree wees" as they call them. Now, fair enough if we are far from the toilet, but he has done it in the middle of a playground with toilets right nearby and I have seen him wee against the the car tires right outside her house rather than go in! OK at 2 or 3 maybe, but not 5.

On a seperate note, my ds2 just potty trained this past week and we are out and about onFriday in a wetlands centre. He would NOT wee in the grass even when I encouraged him too as he asked for a wee and there were no toilets nearby. He held it instead!

hercules1 · 09/06/2007 22:22

WHy would a 2 year old weeing on your lawn bother you? It's a bit of wee from your nephew joining the rest of nature that makes up the outside world....

Judy1234 · 09/06/2007 22:30

Some people store it and use for some kind of garden fertiliser and if you do an on line search (only if you have strong stomach) there is quite a cult following behind drinking it - popular in Japan I think.

But I was wondering why one bit of the shrub was looking the worse for wear and we found the reason the other day - it's the place the lazy 8 year old uses.

FrannyandZooey · 09/06/2007 22:32

For those who are asking why it would bother anyone, I don't like sitting on wee

I wouldn't have a nervous breakdown about it but I would rather not have another child's wee on my clothes, if possible

little boys leave puddles on grass

nooka · 09/06/2007 22:32

The encouraging bit would annoy me too as it can't have helped with your potty training. I think she should have checked with you that it was OK (your house your rules really). My mother once got my dn to pee out of a window - his mother was not pleased!

Blu · 09/06/2007 22:34

It wouldn't bother me in the least - but as i know other people wouldn't quite like it i would always have encouraged ds not to wee in other people's gardens.

But....this morning I found ds and dp both weeing in a bucket to put in the compost.

Blu · 09/06/2007 22:35

yes, F&Z - much better on the plants than on a lawn being played on. I would actualy have stopped DS doing that when he was tiny.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 09/06/2007 22:36

I don't think the wee would bother me. The encouragement would bother me! What's wrong with encouraging the potty/toilet?
There are going to accidents but this is too far imo. I wouldn't encourage ds to wee in anyones garden!

hercules1 · 09/06/2007 22:36

But it would seep into the soil and you would already be sitting on countless other wees already anyway!

hercules1 · 09/06/2007 22:37

I wouldnt encourage my kids to wee on someone elses garden though.

fillyjonk · 10/06/2007 06:50

the other thing is, i wouldn't encourage my kids to wee on someone else's garden because people are funny and squeamish but

this is a relative

i dunno, i don't HAVE nephews or nieces but...don't think grandparents would mind

its family wee, doens't that make a difference?

Othersideofthechannel · 10/06/2007 07:07

This is more about respect of other peoples property and house rules isn't it?

I think you should say something. It is your house and you provided a potty. I also think your SIL should have okayed it with you.

I personally have no problem with weeing in certain parts of the garden. DS is 4 and we let him pee on the bases of shrubs in OUR garden which is big and quite wild. At anyone else's house if he went off to do this, I would ask him to use the toilet.

SittingBull · 10/06/2007 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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