To be annoyed when SIL encoraged her DS to pee on my garden?

[snugglebumnappies]

Very briefly my SIL has a DS three weeks younger than my DD. They play together often and last week she brought DS over and we spent a lovely day in my garden. Both kids are just over 2 and potty training "ish", her DS has been much quicker to pick it up than DD who is just not ready. The two kids ran round the garden, him naked, DD in nappy and t shirt. I had provided a potty, but when it looked like her DS needed a wee she encouraged him to "water the grass" and three time he purposfully peed on my lawn, laughing as he did it. Now I know there may be accidents and that doesn't bother me, but I do think it's a bit gross and anti social to actually encourage him to do it......am I being unreasonable?

If the child was trained enough to hold on then the SIL should have encouraged potty use. It is courtesy given that OP provided a potty.

I dont mind wee on the grass through accidents, or in bushes through lack of alternatives but the OP clealy provided a potty.

Agree with others though, you should have said something the 1st time if you didnt like it.

snugglebum I think you are really cross with yourself for not being able to speak up to your SIL in your own house. Next time she comes practice disagreeing with her about something minor, not argueing, just holding your own. You should be in charge in your own garden, if you want something, say so.

My ds and my dh both pee in the garden, it doesnt bother me at all.

This did make me giggle, I have to say
But I can understand how annoying that is. Your dd may pick this up and want to water the lawn for you herself! My dd is same age and not picking up potty training very well yet, so I sympathise.

Haven't read the whole thread, BUT if you have unwanted badgers this is a great idea!!!

Sorry if someone else has already said this!

i don't think you should get annoyed because your dn is showing your dd bad habits

thats a very slippery slope. just don't go there. you do need to ride with unfortunate influences on your kids, really, especially if they are cousins.

It's precedents as well though, isn't it? A bit of child wee isn't the problem - it's all the potential subsequent wees. My dd2 loves weeing in the garden - it's only natural. She doesn't understand why I rush her inside for the potty. (She even managed a small poo the other day when my back was turned). But it IS habit-forming, and it's easier to teach them when they are little.
Plus, if I LET her wee in the garden, then I know that my older dcs would say, "But it's not fair, you let dd2 do it!" and chaos would ensue.

Ds was covered in paint and chalk yesterday and I said that I was just popping inside and he was to stay outside as he was so very colourful.

When I came back outside he had his trousers around his ankles having weed on the cranberry bush.

It's a good reminder that anything I say will be taken literally, and to always wash fruit and veggies before eating them!

At least you don't eat your grass.

LOL at 'family wee'

I personally prefer no wee at all from whatever genetic pool

but agree with everything else Filly says

Someone encouraged dd1 to pee outside when we were on holiday and then it became a habit - she discovered that she could make a huge curving fountain and thought it was hilarious and then deliberately went outside to pee!! A bit embarrassing beside the apartment swimming pool (shared!!) So it can have consequences!

A 2 year old weeing in a garden is totally ok by me. It wouldn't worry me in the slightest, though I would be happier if the 2 year old picked a patch slightly away from where were I was sitting. I think the mum could have encouraged him to wee in a corner of the garden. If she let him do it within spraying distance of food or clothing then she was not being very courteous.

I am not surprised she let him do it 3 times as I think for many people it's a pretty acceptable practice for a 2 year old. It's up to you to say something.

Can you tell her you that now you are potty training your dd, you are keen to show her how other children wee in their potties every time, so could her son use a potty not the grass?

LOL omg do i really sound like hyacinth bouquet well that's put me in place

It's obvious that there are a lot of people who think I am loopy and others who don't. Please don't think it is about wee, it's not, it's more that I think it is socially unacceptable to encourage a child (whatever their ages) to spary wee (honestly it reminded me of a teenager seeing if the could wite their name in pee ) all over the place, going to pee by a bush or tree would have been different as it was a place chosen, not just infront of the table where I was trying to b/f DS2 and eat my dinner.

trice is right, I am annoyed at myself for not asking him to use the potty, but it was difficult as his mum had said to do it where he did, I am a total wimp and avoid confrontation with DH's family as I don't want all the agro that would go with it (loads of them are still miffed that we didn't invite them to a very small, only close family, wedding seven years ago ) I need to be more assertive, thanks for the ideas on how to broach it next time.

You know, if this family always ride roughshod over you and don't respect you or your feelings, could this help explain the red mist descended over something that is relatively trivial? Given this background, I can more easily understand your anger at your SIL. Definitely time to get more assertive if your SIL is likely to visit again. This will be one of many things between the children where the issue of ground rules and respect will come up.

lol at franny agreeing with everything i say

franny i am a bit concerned by the pooling characteristics of your ds's wee. MY ds's wee doesn't do that, you know...

The weeing bit wouldn't bother me, as all kids do it. But surely it is the role of the parent to discourage weeing in gardens etc, and encourage the use of the toilet!