School dinners. Can staff really do this?

[SoyUnPerdedor2]

Trying to keep it vague as haven't been able to get a meeting yet.
My dd returned to school after summer holiday. Same school she has been to, for a couple of years. Since she a tarted age 4.

Same staff. Same head. Same catering team.
Small village school. Single class intake.

Dd is key stage 1. So gets free dinners. All ks1 get them.

Dd has a dairy allergy. She has had this since birth. School are fully aware and kept her dairy free in the previous years.

Yesterday, I got a phone call after lunch. Asking me to collect dd as she had got an upset stomach and had pooed in the classroom.
As soon as I got near her, I could smell poo. Not normal poo, but the awful smelly stuff she made as a baby, before we got her allergy sorted.
So I asked what she had eaten. Macaroni cheese. Normal macaroni cheese. With real cheese.
Apparently, she has been taken off the allergy list, due to a paperwork issue?
School haven't updated her care thing, so gave her normal food. Knowing it would make her poorly.

Who is my issue with here?
School? Teacher? Office staff? Catering staff?
Dd is not old enough to fully understand food restrictions. She usually asks if it's OK for her. But with new kids starting, lots of noise.. I would not put the blame on her.

In our dining hall the catering team has a folder with all the children who has allergies in. It’s constantly updated.

What has happened to your daughter is unacceptable.

Hi, I haven't read the full thread but I had a similar issue and took it straight to the head. This is a safeguarding issue and is absolutely not acceptable. What if it had sent her into anaphylactic shock? You send her to school and expect her to be safe...she was not safe yesterday. There is no excuse.
Ultimately for us, it was a sign of things to come, we decided our child wasn't treated with safety and care at the forefront of the the school's mind, so 6 months later (after various meetings) we decided to send our child elsewhere and it was the best move we could have made. Your daughter's school have acted irresponsibly and not need to prove to you that they can be trusted with your most precious possession

Sorry if this has already been brought up.

I'm a chef and the laws that came into being 3 years or so back are very severe and strict regarding allergens. £5000 fine, criminal conviction and possible jail time for mistakes like this. Don't quote me on it, but look them up and go into this meeting with that information.

They are there for a reason. No matter how much I hate them. Not enough people know about them and not enough people are educated enough in allergens. Often the person with the allergen/intolerance.

OP you need to do this in writing! I'd be emailing the head, the governors, council, allergy UK, your GP surgery and DD consultant, and the FDA!

My Ds2 has 5 Grade 5/6 allergies, YOU now need to attend the school on Monday, as if they give your DC more dairy within the next 72 - 140 hours she could go into secondary anaphylaxis shock, they would have KILLED my DC!

To the idiotic poster who advised no harm was done... REALLY! a vulnerable child has soiled herself in front of her peers, was in HUGE pain, and is has now being put at risk of secondary anaphylaxis! But hey "no harm was done" idiot

NOT to mention there is a GLOBAL shortage of EpiPens!!!!! Mylan the main manufacture cannot get a main key component to make it,
so much so the FDA is now involved, and 99% of chemists, have Epi Pens, on high alert... plus the NPA, is giving monthly updates ...in which since May... none have been manufactured!!!! here also look at this years National shortage of medicines NPA.co.uk

My Ds2 who has FIVE acute anaphylaxis allergies,has no protection, even from his iritizine as that's also in national shortage!!! as ds is prescribed the raw form of "piriton"

So tbh, personally Id personally be keeping her off school and informing the council why, also then be sending her in with a packed lunch in future, and most importantly id be going OFF it and DEMANDING why her CARE PLAN was not followed!!!

I'd talk to the school and if it happened again shed be taking a packed lunch from then on. I feel sorry for her, it must have been awful.

My dd has an unusual allergy. Most don't even take it seriously. She once got given her allergen and was told that not liking something didn't make it an allergy. Luckily, they huffily checked and gave her a fresh plate minus allergen. She's now at a school where the till is supposed to alert staff if her allergen is present...but we had three incidents last year, and her last reaction took her from bad to severe (one less than life threatening). It's poor that the school lost the care plan (KS1 to KS2?) I would redo the paperwork every year, including an incident plan of what they should do. Made sure you emphasize its all dairy, not just milk, and that cooked food with dairy is also an issue. Some plans only say milk, or dairy, so people assume dairy in other foods, such as cake, is fine. Work to make sure it doesn't happen again, talk to the Head, but don't dwell on who was to blame.

Just love it when people come on and say, 'my kid did it so yours can'.

Because all kids are the same. Right.
Because kids never fuck up so the adults don't need to be responsible for them. Right.
This is meant to be about keeping all kids safe. Not bragging rights.

As the mum of a son with serious allergies that could kill, this is my worst fear and simply not acceptable.
Poor love. You have the issue of them failing in their duty of care towards her allergies, but the embarrassment caused to her as she had an accident in class.
I would be asking for a full investigation into what went wrong, plus a written warning to the culprit.
This isn't a case of someone who is vegetarian being given meat, not life threatening just inconvenient, or a fussy eater. It's a medical condition that they were fully aware of. No excuse for it.

Oh god this really scares me, my son has food allergies, it’s so worrying when they eat and youre not around.
That’s a really serious mixup by the school, that sort of paperwork error could cause a child to die. I hope that take it very seriously when you talk with them

sorry but that is plenty old enough to know what she can/cannot eat if you have educated her correctly on her allergies.

I wish it were that simple! Learning to manage allergies is a process, it's one that takes both time and the development of assertiveness. School dining rooms are busy and often chaotic places, expecting a 6yo to be able to stop the momentum and check whether something is safe is a big ask. To place that expectation on such a young child, particularly when they have been taught over the course of 2 years that school is a 'safe place', food-wise is too much pressure.

I know from personal experience how difficult it was, as a child, to stand up to someone in authority in order to protect myself. I've been in the situation where my allergy somehow became unlisted; when I questioned what I was being given I got into trouble and was sent to the head mistress's office...thankfully she remembered that I had a severe allergy (but I still ended up without lunch that day because of how long it took to get sorted).

A 6/7yo should be learning to take responsibility and ask the appropriate questions, but they should also be able to trust their parents and those in loco parentis to protect them.

Wheresthel1ght: giraffe I understand that, however, as most kids go up to a counter surely she would see they have served her out of the same serving dish as everyone else? That should have flagged to her that something is wrong.

If the girl is used to everyone at home having the same food that she does, she wouldn't think to question her food coming out of the same dish as everyone else's. And that's assuming that a six-year-old would be tall enough to see what was happening behind the servery counter.

Can we please stop blaming a six-year-old for a mistake made by the adults who were meant to care for her?

No one is blaming a 6 year old. I am however saying that her parents should be teaching her how to protect herself.

It's a difficult balance between recreating popular dishes to look/taste the same so that the child gets to eat everything everyone else does and ensuring that they understand what they cannot eat and that they can't assume that something is safe just because it is at home.

I've made the decision to call DD's food/drinks by the actual name rather than the thing they're mimicking to try and mitigate this a bit. So I always qualify the replacement product by saying 'oat milk' and 'coconut yoghurt' rather than just 'milk' and 'yoghurt'.

In many ways allergies were easier to self manage as a child 30 years ago because there was no way that school would have mocked up a macaroni cheese or similar to be dairy free as I was the only child with allergies in the entire school. So yes I missed out but equally I knew where I stood and that I couldn't eat anything that appeared to have dairy in it. It muddies the waters rather that replacements are now often available.

That's all a slight aside. It is still the school's responsibility, not the child, to cater for them safely.

wheresthe - and the OP has explained how her DD is learning to self manage....

Your poor little girl. I do hope she is ok. Schools do make mistakes as they are run by people. Let them how it was awful it was and how they can reassure you that it won’t happen again.

I have had a teacher query whether ds can eat something, becaue they could remember something about allergies... erred on the side of caution and refused to let him have something safe until they could check. ds was disgruntled but it could have been really important.

ds was veggie and non allergic, dd on the other hand..

schools have a responsibility to make sure everyone is safe.

Falls under their safeguarding duty to ensure things like this don't happen. Go back to that head first thing Monday and demand to know what is in place so it cannot happen again

The catering staff must be dealing with the child’s allergy day in, day out. How could they just ‘ forget’? Unless there was a new member of the catering staff who wasn’t informed and so not being on the list mattered, then they are much to blame. The head should issue some dismissals.

Or take your child elsewhere.

Her healthcare plan should also accompany her on any school trips as well as being input onto whatever application your school uses to register students for trips (e.g. EVOLVE).

I work in a nursery and every child that has a allergy or health issuer is given a care plan. It has
the child’s picture on.
Child’s name.
DOB.
Then what the issue is e.g. severe dairy allergy. No dairy to be given.
What would happen if given: bloating, upset stomach, loose stools.
Who to contact in an emergency: mum or dad or if a severe allergy 999.
Then it’s signed by parents and the nursery manager.
We send out care plans every 6 months and we don’t just assume they are fine unless told. We use red plates for allergies at nurseries and is instilled in the whole nursery only children who have an allergy eat off a red plate and if you have an allergy you only eat off red plates. We had a boy with an anaphylaxis mustard allergy. You’d be surprised what contains mustard. Since working in my setting in 4 years we have only messed up twice and both times the dealing member of staff was disaplined as it’s a safeguarding issue. It’s basically neglecting the child needs. I would never just assume the child no longer had an allergy. If they got missed off a list I’d rather be an inconvenience to a parent and request they bring in a packed lunch and apologise rather than have this. X

The school is at fault but humans make mistakes

Tbh bad I don’t mean to criticise you as I agree this is a massive failure on schools part. However my friends child is dairy, wheat and gluten free she is 4 and knows exactly what she can and can’t eat. It’s very important your child understands what she can and can’t eat and I would expect a key stage 1 child to be able to know Macaroni cheese has dairy in it.

Oh OP, your poor DD! YADNBU!

The same thing happened to my DS at age 7. New school, I put in all paperwork and was assured it would be fine. First day there he chose his meal and was told he could have the dessert as it was made with margarine. Only thing was it was topped with a big blob of whipped cream! Cue explosive poo in class an hour later.

School were absolutely mortified, as when they rang me to pick him up, my first question was "What did he have for lunch?" and it was then realised he'd been given something that upset him.

We got a tour of the kitchen, a meeting with the head cook and I highlighted which of their menu items he could and couldn't have by going through the ingredients list of every item. He still got told by kitchen staff over the year to "stop being fussy" or that he couldn't have items that he's ok with, like eggs, because "They're dairy". FFS! In the end I switched him to a packed lunch as it was just easier, but was sad he missed out on hot meals in Winter.

He's just started secondary and polices his own choices now. The other day he was checking the ingredients list on a sandwich as they're hard to see through the packaging (Only a small window) and he wasn't sure if it was ham and cheese or just ham, not to mention if they used butter or marge at all. A teacher saw him and shouted at him to "Stop being silly and fussy!" DS started to say he has an allergy but they cut him off and said if they saw him doing it again they'd give him a detention for silly behaviour! FFS he could have been a diabetic checking net carbs. As it was he was checking it wouldn't make him ill!

I have the same issues as him and although I look ok, I'm actually having excruciating belly cramps today because I must have eaten something that's been cross contaminated.

It's easy to dismiss as just a bit of poo, no harm done, but OPs daughter could feel really ill. It's easy to say she should police her own choices, but 1. She's 6. 2. As shown by my DSs case, even if you do others can get it wrong OR they can think you're just being fussy. And 3. We can all accidentally eat something we shouldn't, either by our own error or cross contamination.

OP, I hope you've had your meeting now. It depends on whether your school has external catering or not, but I always dealt with the head cook at DSs primary.

I think keyboardkate’s DC must be at our school. That’ll be the kid who has told my daughter she was spoiled and got anything she wanted because she has various adjustments to enable her to just be at school with her friends. It’s that attitude that led to her having to spend 3 weeks of playtimes with children she wasn’t friends with and who frankly ignored her, because her surgery meant she couldn’t go into the playground and instead got to do something different and her teacher decided every child deserved a turn to do it with her. 🙄

I can’t believe those blaming a 6 year old for not asking. If I had a food intolerance and ate somewhere every day for two years with no issues, I’d feel safe in the assumption it was fine to do it. Is she really expected at every meal, to ask the same kitchen staff if it has dairy in it? I’m sure after a few weeks of that she’d be told off for asking.