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AIBU?

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Original poster

School dinners. Can staff really do this?

224 replies

SoyUnPerdedor2 · 14/09/2018 18:46

Trying to keep it vague as haven't been able to get a meeting yet.
My dd returned to school after summer holiday. Same school she has been to, for a couple of years. Since she a tarted age 4.

Same staff. Same head. Same catering team.
Small village school. Single class intake.

Dd is key stage 1. So gets free dinners. All ks1 get them.

Dd has a dairy allergy. She has had this since birth. School are fully aware and kept her dairy free in the previous years.

Yesterday, I got a phone call after lunch. Asking me to collect dd as she had got an upset stomach and had pooed in the classroom.
As soon as I got near her, I could smell poo. Not normal poo, but the awful smelly stuff she made as a baby, before we got her allergy sorted.
So I asked what she had eaten. Macaroni cheese. Normal macaroni cheese. With real cheese.
Apparently, she has been taken off the allergy list, due to a paperwork issue?
School haven't updated her care thing, so gave her normal food. Knowing it would make her poorly.

Who is my issue with here?
School? Teacher? Office staff? Catering staff?
Dd is not old enough to fully understand food restrictions. She usually asks if it's OK for her. But with new kids starting, lots of noise.. I would not put the blame on her.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 14/09/2018 19:39

Hmm I can’t imagine my DC being remotely envious of children with allergies, and certainly can’t imagine her preferring to have dairy free macaroni cheese alternatives just because some other children do. She was put out by quorn dippers at school today.
Maybe you should teach your children some compassion, and tolerance for other people’s differences?

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 14/09/2018 19:40

Massively cross posted - that isn't a good enough response from a Head at all.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/09/2018 19:40

keyboardkate
Poor invisible kids not being singled out as they don’t have an allergy or maybe a disability. It must be so hard for them. Hmm

MadameButterface · 14/09/2018 19:40

I would be going mental, your poor little girl

don't feed the troll on this thread (unless it's something that'll make it shit off)

keyboardkate · 14/09/2018 19:41

This reply has been deleted

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InfiniteCurve · 14/09/2018 19:41

keyboardkate,kids without allergies are invisible? In the same way that straight people are invisible perhaps Hmm

I don't know what experience you have of living with food allergies,but DD doesn't get to eat special this and special that - her experience is of not being able to eat things her friends eat which she'd like to eat but knows she can't.That's not a privilege.

SoyDora · 14/09/2018 19:41

Incidentally keyboardkate, do you think children in wheelchairs should be homeschooled in case it is difficult for other children seeing them not have to do certain things that they have to do?

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 14/09/2018 19:42

I can't believe posters are just saying "people make mistakes". Feeding a child a food they are allergic to could potentially kill them! Its not just a mistake! They are really lucky if Ops DD is okay. I watched someone literally nearly die in front of me the other day after having an anaphylactic shock, they are putting the Dcs life in danger. You can't expect a 6 year old (or potentially a 4 year old) to be fully in charge of her allergies. These were adults she trusts to give her the right food

Sirzy · 14/09/2018 19:43

Probably soy and even if she isn’t for real there are people like that. Like the parents who complain that ds has 1-1 because it’s not fair their child doesn’t Confused

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/09/2018 19:45

The head at dds School was absolutely shit about her medical condition. Until the ambulance was called one day. The answer the head has given you isn’t good enough. It’s not just about what happened to your dd today. It’s about reviewing protocols and learning lessons so that it doesnt happen again. I’d be putting my complaint in writing for a start off and following the school complaints procedure, which the office will be able to give you.

I hope your feels better soon. Poor little mite. 😢

Feefeetrixabelle · 14/09/2018 19:46

One parent complained that a student got to nap in my class and her son didn’t. The girl had had a seizure earlier in the day but it was gcse time and she wanted to stay in for as much prep as she could. So the protocol was if she fell asleep we would let her do so on the desk.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/09/2018 19:48

keyboardkate
So bloody what if the kids resent it. Their parents need to put them straight and stop being a snowflake.

Didn’t it ever occur to you that children with health conditions and allergies have far more to resent? That they actually would just like to fit in?

Shednik · 14/09/2018 19:49

That's right keyboardkate, all children with health conditions should be excluded from mainstream education in case reasonable adjustments to enable them to access their human right to an education, social opportunities and everything their non-disabled peers enjoy, impact anybody else.

Wheelchair users should be excluded too in case other children complain that it's not fair they have to walk between classes and can't ride.

Rhiannon13 · 14/09/2018 19:49

@keyboardkate - has anybody ever pointed out to you that you're a bit strange? Is it you who's jealous of the 'attention' allergy sufferers receive??

Menolly · 14/09/2018 19:49

The kitchen staff should have an allergy list, but it is usually up to the class teacher to supply a list for their class, so there's a bit of blame on both sides.

Same catering company doesn't necessarily mean same kitchen staff, and obviously they have a lot of children to remember for, which is why they have the allergy list. Plus children can grow out of allergies, so they may have looked at the list and thought she wasn't on there because she had grown out of it. So personally I would be more angry at whoever didn't put her on the list.

Yes your daughter should know to check but she is only KS1, she may have assumed that as the school know about her allergy they were offering her a special dairy free cheese, she might have not been heard, she might not have felt brave enough to argue with what she was given.

Lunde · 14/09/2018 19:49

I personally think that kids without allergies are invisible, and just get on with it. They watch some of their schoolfriends every day getting special this and that, and then they come home and say WHY is X getting that, it looks great, but I have to have Y.

For goodness skae keyboardkate - toddlers are easily capable of understanding that some foods make their friends very ill and that they are served a different version that doesn't make them sick. I don't really understand why you think "no harm done when the 6 year old has suffered huge abdominal symptoms including pain, bloating and involuntary pooing herself

It may be that you cannot quite grasp this but it makes you look like a petulant toddler when your main argument seems to be "not fair - I want soya milk!" (or whatever)

Willow2017 · 14/09/2018 19:50

keyboardkate
Well maybe you could educate yourself then your kids about allergies and how serious they can be and how sone kids dont have a choice in what they eat. Then they might stop wanting what other kids dont have any choice in.

Your comnents on a child having excruciating diarrhoea and a swollen stomach hours later as being nothing much and to suggest kids with medical problems should be home schooled are vile.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/09/2018 19:50

That's appalling. I'm a primary school dinner coordinator and this should NOT happen. Something has gone terribly wrong with the lines of communication here. We have allergy/special dietary requirements information posted all over the place, and all the children with particular requirements have placemats to state these. Please keep on at your school meals service/LEA about this;it's just not good enough

seven201 · 14/09/2018 19:50

I'd be furious. I'm a teacher and have a dd with a dairy allergy. She's only two though! I can't believe the head tried to fob you off! Arrange a meeting and if you're not satisfied then go to the governors? Keeping children safe is meant to be the most important thing!

keyboardkate · 14/09/2018 19:51

For the record, despite what some might think , I am not trolling, but giving an alternative view.

I hope that is OK.

My nephew has CP and some other issues. Mainstream school. He is doing great. Treated just like everyone else in his class. He uses a wheelchair too. But he gets on with it.

Food issues not a problem. But it can be if you are restricted. Then you are Other and not in the group sometimes.

It is easier to be disabled than to have an allergy sometimes I feel

myrtleWilson · 14/09/2018 19:53

Mylegshurt - but the school did know about the allergy so why are you blaming the parents?

KeyboardKate is clearly a GF - don't feed her.

OP - I hope the school take this incident seriously and respond effectively and ensure that this never happens again. I also hope your DD is recovering.

MissEliza · 14/09/2018 19:53

Take it easy. Mistakes happen. Mistakes of that nature can kill. That's not an exaggeration.
Your poor dd. I honestly don't know how that could happen. I've worked in schools and be baffled if a child with a dairy allergy suddenly was taken off the list. Not one person questioned it?

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 14/09/2018 19:58

Why is there so much twattery on MN tonight?

Look up the school’s complaints procedure. It’s probably on the website. No need to go in all guns blazing, but definitely worth making them review how it happened and what they need to do to prevent it happening again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/09/2018 19:59

It is easier to be disabled...
I have gluten intolerance and am disabled. I know which one I’d rather do without. Can you guess Kate? Perhaps you aren’t a troll but you sound like an ignoramus.

WhitefriarsDillyDuck · 14/09/2018 20:02

The kitchen staff should have an allergy list, but it is usually up to the class teacher to supply a list for their class, so there's a bit of blame on both sides.

There is no way that this is a class teacher responsibility.