To be feeling distressed after hearing my dad being told to find another bank due to forgetting his pin and needing it to be reset (has Alzheimer’s)?

[TheCakeCrusader]

To be clear, this is not about my dad being asked to find another bank because he has Alzheimer’s (the bank don’t know this) but because of a situation in which he needed to get his pin reset on his card. Alzheimer’s was mentioned as this is a possible factor behind the current situation at the bank.

A background to this is that he has to go to the ( physical) bank ( finds it hard to do online banking) to check on his account and other transactions etc. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple of years ago and although it’s still in the earlier stages, he is starting to find some tasks more difficult, hence the relevance to the PIN ( hope this makes sense so far?)

He went to his usual branch and tried to use his card but made errors putting in the PIN which resulted in him being locked out.

According to my dad, this has happened a few times before and the bank branch will normally just unlock his card (?) However he was told today by one of the staff that he should find an alternative bank from now on as he has locked his pin at this particular branch a few times now.

My dad called me up in a distressed state a short time ago to explain what had happened and that he felt upset that he was being ‘told off’ and to go somewhere else!

Of course, I can only take his experience into account but I still don’t think there should have been any justification for the bank staff member to have treated my dad in such a shoddy way ( if this is what happened?)

As far as I can tell, my dad wasn’t rude but he said he felt confused and upset by the member of staff’s response. My dad is in his mid 80’s.

My dad usually sticks to the same branch so feels as though he can now never go back to this particular place again. He’s asked me about a branch in my town so that he can go there instead.

I have an LPA for my dad, would it be advisable to contact the bank to ask that this is put on his notes? Would this help the staff to see that my dad does have difficulties and to be patient with him when something like this happens rather than to be dismissive towards him?

I am upset on his behalf as it’s the first time I’ve heard anything like this happen to him. Aibu to feel upset about this or can a bank just tell a customer to go and find another bank if they feel the customer has made ( in their view) too many errors with their card?

My dad has become more repetitive in his speech and had increased anxiety so it could have been a possibility that the staff member became inpatient towards my dad although with me being presented at the time, it difficult to know the full circumstances. I just feel really crap right now and upset to hear my dad upset. 🙁

@alittlequinnie

Gosh, it’s sounding a lot more complex. I might have a chat with the Alzheimer’s society beforehand to see what the best course of action would be. I know that my dad likes his independence and he would be very upset if the bank were to stop the account on a basis of lack of mental capacity. At the moment, I still feel that he can operate his bank account but he needs some additional support ( or patience) from the bank to do so.

I’ll chat to my mum about whether this is a joint account too.

Should I ask the bank first about whether they have a court of protection team? Would they be able to say whether it would be advisable to use the LPA here or if it might jeopardise my dad having his account ( bank closing his account)? I think at this stage, we would only want some notes on his account to say that he has Alzheimer’s and to ensure that the bank makes allowances for him ( being more patient) but that he still has mental capacity.

You shouldn't have a problem using the LPA. When my mum became unable to sign her name I was added as a signatory to the account. There was never any question of being asked to close it. This was Barclays, incidentally.

My mum has Alzheimer's and her bank have been great. She has changed to a chip and signature card with contactless payment. This enables her to use her card everyday but also to go into branch and withdraw money if she needs it. She couldn't cope with the pin or the cash machine.
We have a LPA and have registered it with the bank but confirmed she still has capacity. This means she can still do her banking but also gives me & my brother access so we can do the bills & keep an eye to see there's no problems.
She banks with Lloyds and I don't give praise often but the staff in her branch are awesome and so patient with her, they always have been even before we registered the LPA.

@bigKiteFlying

According to my mum who has spoken to my dad, a member of the banks staff told my dad that he’d been in the branch quite a few times already in the past to do this and for him to go to another bank instead. My mum feels that this wasn’t said in a helpful way, more of a go away type way.

Looks like I’ll have to research this a bit more to get the best outcome for my dad.

There is another potential difficulty with one of his accounts as it’s for a company which has joint ownership with another ( non family) member. I need to see how all this might impact on this particular account too!

The other company owner has not been told of my dad’s diagnosis ( and we don’t want to tell him either at this stage).

😕

Just wanted to thank everyone again for their responses. It’s really appreciated.

The bank is Lloyd’s so I hoping it was just one member of staff’s attitude. A lot to think about at this moment.

You posted at about 1pm on a Wednesday. Our banks here are rammed from about 11.30 as there are people on lunch break plus that's pension day. It may be as simple as an employee being cranky on this particular day at holding up a large queue rather than a bank policy so worth checking with the branch. If so he deserves an apology.

By any chance could they have suggested changing banks to one that still uses a passbook system (if there are any left) instead of a card?

I've just checked, and Lloyds have a dementia-friendly services charter from 2012, so if the staff member was impatient or rude there was no excuse.

It sounds like time to activate your LPA. Our bank needed to see the papers and both parties and then issued a letter authorising the named person to act for my FIL.

Definitely tell the bank, they need to know. Consider telling other people as well if he is deteriorating, they may be more understanding than you fear.

My dad has dementia. It’s shit.

@hammeringinmyhead
“You posted at about 1pm on a Wednesday. Our banks here are rammed from about 11.30 as there are people on lunch break plus that's pension day. It may be as simple as an employee being cranky on this particular day at holding up a large queue rather than a bank policy so worth checking with the branch. If so he deserves an apology”

That could have been a possibility but my dad did call back this afternoon to say that he went A different branch and the matter was resolved there so I can only conclude that the employee was being a bit cranky today.

I don't like online banking. Won't use it. My bank told me they were trying to guide all customers to use online banking. To dissuade us from coming into the branch. I responde by saying "if you force the issue I'll change my bank. If enough people feel like this, then you're job will be under threat". She just looked at me!

Some banks are quite dismissive of elderly customers in the early stages of dementia. I witnessed it with my mum. I had to step in due to poor training. My friend also had several issues with her elderly aunt's bank for similar reasons. Time they got on board here. Not acceptable.

@IhatetheArchers
Thank you for the info re: Lloyds

@Allthewaves
No the employee told my dad to go to another bank ( no helpful advice or info offered)

@MatildaTheCat
My dad has dementia. It’s shit.

Indeed it is!

@TheCakeCrusader you can still have LPA set up & allow your dad to continue use of his account

Legally it might affect the business so you'll need to look at that first

@ny20005

We’ll definitely look into that, thank you.

Yes TheCakeCrusader but once it's locked you can use an ATM and enter your PIN correctly, you don't get told to go to another bank. Or has he forgotten his PIN completely?

I imagine he's forgotten it completely. My mum didn't even remember what a PIN was or that she'd ever had one.

@PhilomenaButterfly

Yes TheCakeCrusader but once it's locked you can use an ATM and enter your PIN correctly, you don't get told to go to another bank. Or has he forgotten his PIN completely?

I’ve spoken to both my parents more about the incident and my dad has said that he didn’t feel confident about using the ATM possibly because of his increased anxiety.

He therefore went to the main counter to ask for staff support but was told because this had happened a few times before that he should to go another bank.

Therefore sadly, although this might appear to be the easiest option in regards unlocking the pin, my dad is obviously finding it harder to cope with doing this without additional support.

It may also be that we need to make another appointment at the memory clinic as it appears he has been struggling more with some other tasks too.

Yes now is the time to record the LPA with the bank. You/your mother may be able to get cards for his account, perhaps you can withdraw cash for him?

Banks should have procedures for handling vulnerable customers and should make adjustments to keep their services accessible

@Bluelady

I imagine he's forgotten it completely. My mum didn't even remember what a PIN was or that she'd ever had one

I think he had the number written down ( a security risk of course) but he kept putting in the wrong number or from what I can gather, he was putting in the last 4 digits of his card ( not the PIN).

The different branch he went to just helped to advise him that he needed to put his PIN in to unlock his account.

I’m really sorry. That’s awful.

I have forgotten my bank card previously and gone to the bank with ID and have been able to withdraw money no problem.
Surely there are others that struggle with cards that have to be accommodated?

I am sorry again and hope you are ok x

@Violetroselily

*Yes now is the time to record the LPA with the bank. You/your mother may be able to get cards for his account, perhaps you can withdraw cash for him?

Banks should have procedures for handling vulnerable customers and should make adjustments to keep their services accessible*

I had a chat with dad this afternoon to explain that it might be advisable to talk to the bank so that they know that he might need some assistance occasionally. He was a bit upset about this as he says he still feels that he’s ‘okay’.

Have you actually been to the branch to find out their side?

@3luckystars

Thank you, I think things are starting to get harder for dad and it is upsetting to watch him struggling more.

@BumDisease

Have you actually been to the branch to find out their side?

Not yet, I’ve just been trying to get more facts from my parents first.

It's absolutely heartbreaking, you have my utmost sympathy, Crusader. I wouldn't wish the path you and your parents are having to take on my worst enemy.