To be feeling distressed after hearing my dad being told to find another bank due to forgetting his pin and needing it to be reset (has Alzheimer’s)?

[TheCakeCrusader]

To be clear, this is not about my dad being asked to find another bank because he has Alzheimer’s (the bank don’t know this) but because of a situation in which he needed to get his pin reset on his card. Alzheimer’s was mentioned as this is a possible factor behind the current situation at the bank.

A background to this is that he has to go to the ( physical) bank ( finds it hard to do online banking) to check on his account and other transactions etc. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple of years ago and although it’s still in the earlier stages, he is starting to find some tasks more difficult, hence the relevance to the PIN ( hope this makes sense so far?)

He went to his usual branch and tried to use his card but made errors putting in the PIN which resulted in him being locked out.

According to my dad, this has happened a few times before and the bank branch will normally just unlock his card (?) However he was told today by one of the staff that he should find an alternative bank from now on as he has locked his pin at this particular branch a few times now.

My dad called me up in a distressed state a short time ago to explain what had happened and that he felt upset that he was being ‘told off’ and to go somewhere else!

Of course, I can only take his experience into account but I still don’t think there should have been any justification for the bank staff member to have treated my dad in such a shoddy way ( if this is what happened?)

As far as I can tell, my dad wasn’t rude but he said he felt confused and upset by the member of staff’s response. My dad is in his mid 80’s.

My dad usually sticks to the same branch so feels as though he can now never go back to this particular place again. He’s asked me about a branch in my town so that he can go there instead.

I have an LPA for my dad, would it be advisable to contact the bank to ask that this is put on his notes? Would this help the staff to see that my dad does have difficulties and to be patient with him when something like this happens rather than to be dismissive towards him?

I am upset on his behalf as it’s the first time I’ve heard anything like this happen to him. Aibu to feel upset about this or can a bank just tell a customer to go and find another bank if they feel the customer has made ( in their view) too many errors with their card?

My dad has become more repetitive in his speech and had increased anxiety so it could have been a possibility that the staff member became inpatient towards my dad although with me being presented at the time, it difficult to know the full circumstances. I just feel really crap right now and upset to hear my dad upset. 🙁

‘Without me being present at the time
‘

Jeez, I can unlock my card just by going to an ATM and entering my PIN!

Ex bank employee here! The bank will have a detailed policy covering the treatment of vulnerable customers (which includes your dad) - please do tell them as there are lots of rules and regulations governing what they can and can't do and it will afford your dad some important protections (eg the rules around him being given credit are much more stringent, penalties for overdrafts / late fees etc more lenient etc).

I don't know about the specifics of forgetting his PIN and why they suggested he moved his account (I wasn't in fraud or customer services) but I'm sure the bank could explain if you spoke to them.

‘Impatient’

Doesn't sound plausible sorry. I'm surprised they were unlocking his card in branch in the first place. It's happened to me and they refused to do it in branch.

He should just go in to the bank to withdraw cash since it sounds like he is trying to get cash out in business hours anyway.

Sorry I didn’t mean I was impatient, I was just correcting myself!

Meant that telling him to move his account doesn't sound plausible.

Of course they were trying to be helpful unlocking his card in branch.

Look at alternative solutions since his ability to remember a PIN is only going to deteriorate.

I’ll need to meet up directly with my dad to get fuller facts on the card being locked and if the branch were able to unlock it but from what I gather he was told to go and find another bank. My dad seemed to imply that this was because they told him that he has locked his card before and that they were annoyed with him.

That sounds very distressing.

It may be a training issue, Google 'alzheimer friendly' and contact the bank (if your dad is ok with this) as from what he has told you, this treatment is totally unacceptable.

When I worked in a bank we used to have a gentleman with dementia or Alzheimer's and we never used to worry about having his card, we used to do a withdrawal slip for him at the counter. It did used to concern me sometimes when he would ask to withdraw hundreds. We used to ask him whether he'd be better taking say 50 and to come back when he needed more (he used to come in most days). He was always happy with that.

I think they're treating your dad very badly and yes you should go in with the LPA as it should be on file in case you need to speak with them regarding his finances. Try and get an appointment with someone senior and share your concerns. They should be able to help you. Good luck, it's a difficult time

@peachgreen

Thank you for your suggestion to tell the bank about my dad’s condition. I’ll have a chat with him beforehand. This might rule out any future instance of staff maybe being impatient with him.

You might do well to go into the branch and ask what happened - I know my dad gets really wound up by things and misreports what was actually said as his anxiety about things takes over.

It probably is time to consider whether using a card and pin is the way to go now, or if your dad would be better with you getting him some cash out each week and you looking after his finances and card now, which would protect him from phone scams etc as well

It's common for dementia patients to perceive things wrong

Thanks to everyone that has responded so far. Feeling really teary about this.

I haven’t had to use the LPA so far but it sounds like that I will need to talk to the bank about him so that there are no further repercussions.

I'd be very surprised if the bank told him to use another bank or branch tbh. I'd contact the bank/raise a complaint so that it is investigated then at least you'll know - banks have very strict rules about treating vulnerable customers these days so it will be taken seriously

@jelliebelly This is the first time my dad has told me about an incident where he feels that he was treated badly. Maybe there was some misunderstanding along the way but I get the feeling that my dad can still recognise when someone is being unpleasant towards them.

My only other experience of this directly is that I’ve seen staff in some venues being very condescending or impatient with him.

My dad takes longer to explain things but even so, I wouldn’t expect staff to treat him like he’s stupid.

@PhilomenaButterfly

Jeez, I can unlock my card just by going to an ATM and entering my PIN

I think the difficulty here is that my dad is forgetting his pin/ not putting in correctly and perhaps he’s not confident to use the ATM. I think he uses the card reader in the bank? I’ll ask him later about this.

My dad has severe dementia and I do understand how distressing it can be. The Alzheimer’s Society has a helpline, wonder if it might be worth contacting them? Also do you have Power of Attourney? Dont know what an LPA is. ( sorry if it’s the same thing ) 💜

Hi my Dad has Alzheimer's. First thing I did was register LPA with the bank. It saves time and effort if problems come up in future. I also had a debit card for Dads account so I could get cash out for him if he had a problem with his card.

@Destinysdaughter

My dad has severe dementia and I do understand how distressing it can be. The Alzheimer’s Society has a helpline, wonder if it might be worth contacting them? Also do you have Power of Attourney? Dont know what an LPA is. ( sorry if it’s the same thing ) 💜

Yes, I have the Power of Attourney but have never had to use so far. I’ll get in touch with the helpline for AS too.

I have noticed there’s been a slight deterioration with my dad recently so perhaps it’s a good time to look at implementing the LPA in certain areas now.

The bank need to know his diagnosis & you need to bring LPA documents into branch (you'll need to make an appointment)

The branch need to be told what his difficulties are & then they can make arrangements for his. They'll also add notes with his additional requirements.

I can't imagine they told him to go to another bank & maybe they were a little impatient with him & he picked up on that

Try & phone the branch & speak to staff who dealt with him

@y20005

I’ll have a chat with my mum too as she’s on the LPA as well. I’ll make an appointment with the bank this week and ask to see them. I’m hoping that they’ll be a bit more understanding in future because of his diagnosis.

Just be careful with the LPA - I work with Court of Protection and as soon as we give them the Deputy Order which states "lack of capacity" for the client the bank will often stop the account because the account holder "lacks capacity".

You can point out to them that the Mental Capacity Act says that somebody with a lack of capacity should be encouraged to do things that they can do (such as handling a small amount of money) but the bank rarely understand.

It might be easier to open a joint account with him and have a bank card each and you know the PIN to each - can't he phone you if he forgets his PIN?

Alternatively most banks have a Court of Protection Team which may help.

Natwest certainly have one and I have clients with Natwest Accounts that run from mine - you might be able to do this - I can run the account online etc and my clients have a debit card - I did have to sign a declaration though to say that if the card was misused I would be responsible.

It's a tricky situation and I suspect it may take some time to sort out - banks have such high security measures that they shoot themselves in the foot on this sort of thing.

Meant that telling him to move his account doesn't sound plausible.

It's probably is a misunderstanding but as an 18 student living away from home for first time I went to sort out an error on the banks part - was told it was all my fault - offered written proof it was theirs and was told the same by customer service counter staff.

So as soon as I could I moved to another bank who I've been with 20 + years. I suspect it was just a bad employee but I didn't need that in my local branch.

It sounds like you are going to have to get in touch with the back anyway and change things going forward might be worth mentioning as part of that.

We had a ludicrous situation with my mum's bank at the branch she'd used for 50+ years. She wanted cash, ie to cash a cheque, the cashier handed her a PIN machine which she couldn't use because she'd forgotten it. Despite all the staff having known her for years she still couldn't get her cash. I pointed out that if she'd known her PIN we'd have used the ATM. That was a bit of independence she lost as I had to withdraw her cash for her from that day on.

I hope you can get this sorted for your dad, OP. Technology is the enemy of confused old people.