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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To delay paying childminder

301 replies

Harmonyrays · 12/09/2018 05:47

On day two of my ds being with his new childminder I receive an invoice for the entire month. Is this normal? I'd expected to get it at the end of the month. I've only just gone back to work and don't get paid until then.

AIBU to delay paying until the 30th?

OP posts:
Lwmommy · 12/09/2018 09:21

Odd, our nursery and now after school club are paid in arrears. DD started after school club on 10th month, we are expected to pay by the last day of the month.

NoFucksImAQueen · 12/09/2018 09:22

it's very normal and very annoying. I'm starting university on the 24th so need a weeks childcare at the end of this month and continuing from there. both nursery and school club want payment in advance for this month and next before I will have my childcare grant. i have had to ask if I can pay a few days late for next month's amount and in paid this months out of my own pocket. luckily both have been fine because I don't have £800 in my back pocket to pay it myself

piscis · 12/09/2018 09:25

I cant believe your being expected to pay in advance when you will not have been paid yourself

That's not the childminder's problem though
Very normal to pay for services beforehand, not just childminders, but most services, that you have been paid or not is irrelevant.

StatisticallyChallenged · 12/09/2018 09:26

@nokidshere thick skin is pretty much essential isn't it! We used to be far more softly softly but it just doesn't work.

maybe it varies a bit regionally Lwmommy, but I don't know a single childcare provider in our area who is payment in arrears. They're all advance, some of the after school clubs are termly never mind monthly. That also kind of forces everyone to be in advance too - you really don't want to be the only provider doing payments in arrears when everyone else is in advance as then you just become an absolute magnet for non payers. When we were softer this happened to us a lot, we didn't want to get a reputation for being mean/hard ass etc but there's little choice.

LittleLionMansMummy · 12/09/2018 09:27

I had no idea this was considered normal. We've used two childminders and a nursery and none asked for payment up front - always in arrears.

Rhiannon13 · 12/09/2018 09:27

Childminder’s do often take advantage of desperate parents.

Why are parents 'desperate'? And how do childminders 'take advantage'? I'm genuinely interested to know the answer @zsazsajuju. I've been in this job for nearly twenty years and haven't come across either of these scenarios. Is it possible you have had a bad experience due to your 'interesting' attitude? Please don't tar a whole profession with the same brush.

lalaloopyhead · 12/09/2018 09:30

At school breakfast/afterschool club we are given am invoice at the start of every term. They were happy to be paid weekly or in a lump sum, as long as it was all paid up by the end of term.

I have now switched to using a childminder for afterschool care and she fairly much gave me the option on how to be invoiced, and we opted to stick with the same option and have already paid for this terms care in advance.

It is not a huge amount though and I can see it would be a struggle paying for full time care when starting a new job. I think the best thing would to be upfront and speak to them about it, rather than just not paying straight away.

veggiethrower · 12/09/2018 09:31

I also provide a service (not CM) and my clients have to pay at the beginning of the month in advance. The reason for this is that if I did not do this, some people would disappear at the end of the month never to be seen or heard of again, having used the service and not paid for it. Trying to get the money back is almost impossible.
I used to provide the service and people paid after they had had 4 sessions. We all like to think that other people are honest but that was not my experience - there were a lot of people who simply vanished off the face of the earth. Taking everyone who did that to the small claims court would have been a nightmare so I changed my terms and conditions to payment monthly in advance.

YABU to delay paying until the end of the month. If you have a problem paying at the moment due to lack of funds you need to phone the CM and discuss this with her. You also need to read her terms and conditions very carefully as you were obviously surprised by payment in advance - make sure you know what the procedure is should you wish to terminate the contract etc.

jelliebelly · 12/09/2018 09:32

Pretty common for service providers like this to expect payment in advance - same with nursery fees, private school fees etc

hotcrossbun83 · 12/09/2018 09:32

At the end of my mat leave I ‘went back to work’ and used up all the holiday I had accrued so I had an extra month off on full pay. I used this money to pay the first month of nursery fees, and then my first proper pay cheque from being back paid the second month at nursery etc. A lot of friends did the same.

glintandglide · 12/09/2018 09:34

It is really difficult when you start an new job or go back to work and sadly this just re- emphasis’ the idea that returning to work is for rich women. The answer isn’t to penalise CM (other women usually!) but it is an issue, absolutely

ballseditupforever · 12/09/2018 09:36

I always paid my childminder in arrears. She was very flexible. Sounds like you have a hand to mouth childminder. Most jobs require you to work a month in hand.

piscis · 12/09/2018 09:36

Wages are paid for work already done, not for work you are going to do

That's not so simple.
The childminder will keep that space for her child, so if another parent comes along looking for a place for another kid, the childminder will say she is not available. So, paying in advance pays for her work and also for her commitment to you.

I am not a childminder but I work in the wedding industry. My clients pay in advance, a percentage when they make the booking and then the rest one month before, that's the only reason I keep the date for them. They've got my commitment to do my job on their wedding date by paying, and most importantly, I am not available for anyone else on that date.

Same for a childminder. Why would a childminder keep your space secure if she doesn't know if you are going to pay or not?

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 12/09/2018 09:36

@hotcrossbun83 I did the same.

Snoopychildminder · 12/09/2018 09:36

Zsazsajuju what an appalling attitude you have. cms are not special although some think that they are Hmm I think you will find many nurseries do charge a month in advance. This is because we need to protect ourselves from situations like this. I am always alarmed how little regard some people have for their childcarers.
If you don’t like a Childminders payment policy you don’t have to send your child there.
We do not take advantage of desperate parents, we are often parents ourselves just trying to earn a living for our family.

flamingofridays · 12/09/2018 09:38

its shit but its normal.

when I finished maternity leave we had to find £550 for ds first month of nursery (part time) from dp's wages and my shit maternity pay, but, that's just how it is.

if I don't pay for nursery on time they give about 2 days grace (I have only ever paid late once due to an error on the tax free childcare site!) and then they wont let your child attend.

AjasLipstick · 12/09/2018 09:42

I provide a service for which clients must pay in advance. It's to protect myself and the CM will be doing it (as do others) for the same reason.

It's unfortunate but when you provide a service to people, there are some a lot who will take the service and then fail to pay. Or pay very late. Or in increments.

None of this helps me live of course.

If there was a way to guarantee that my clients would pay at the end of each month, I would have no problems with that.

piscis · 12/09/2018 09:50

it’s extremely rare to pay for a service in advance

No it isn't. It is pretty much the norm.

Mortgage, rent, car insurance, flights, train tickets, cinema and theatre tickets, booking a venue, photography services, catering services, university fees, Netflix, TV license...

worridmum · 12/09/2018 09:54

Employee that get paid in arrears can easily get there money if the company does not pay.

It is far far harder chasing people for money i should know i have done it enough times for my husband he is a freelancer and in one year when i was on maternity i had to gi to court on no less then 12 clients out of the total of 40.... over 25% thought they did not need to pay for services rendered. Or that we should wait 3 or 6 months after work has been completed.

Its most amusing when they get charged 30% late fee if they are 1 month late and contract is 50% late fee at 6 months and courts have always upheld this so they cheeky fuckers dont get a intrest free loan for 6 months.

Snoopychildminder · 12/09/2018 10:04

People often make the mistake that childminders are employees. They aren’t. They are business owners.
Not only are you paying us to look after your children, you are paying to keep this space continuously open.
I charge in advance because like the poster said above, you would not believe how hard it is to chase people for invoices. It’s incredibly disrespectful

Nannyplumshairstyle · 12/09/2018 10:10

Completely normal.

Winterbella · 12/09/2018 11:14

People don't pay a solicitor or accountant or mortgage adviser or a mechanic up front all service roles. I don't use child care but weekly in arrears surly would be a better system and put less pressure on parents and child care providers.

LaurieMarlow · 12/09/2018 11:25

It is entirely obvious why childminders would ask for payment in advance.

They do not have the resources of large companies to credit check clients or take them to court if they don't pay. The risk of being burned is far too high. There are plenty of cheeky fucker parents out there.

If you can't see that you're obtuse, staggeringly entitled or both.

If you don't like the terms laid out in the contract, then go elsewhere.

SoupDragon · 12/09/2018 11:35

I don't use child care

School trips? Holidays? Dinner money?

blueskiesandforests · 12/09/2018 11:37

Winter a lot of small one/ two man band garages expect payment before you drive your car away and wouldn't let you take it if you didn't pay.

Conveyancing solicitors expect payment before you complete on a house purchase and can refuse to complete their side of the work until paid.

Childminders can't refuse to let a parent take their child home on the last day of the month without payment.