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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To delay paying childminder

301 replies

Harmonyrays · 12/09/2018 05:47

On day two of my ds being with his new childminder I receive an invoice for the entire month. Is this normal? I'd expected to get it at the end of the month. I've only just gone back to work and don't get paid until then.

AIBU to delay paying until the 30th?

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 12/09/2018 08:14

My cleaner is self employed and I don’t pay her in advance?!

Which presumably is ok with the cleaner. The worst that could happen is you decide not to pay her one week, she’s out of pocket by £40 or however much, and she doesn’t come back next week. That’s clearly a risk she’s willing to take.

If a parent decides not to pay a childminder after a month, the childminder could be out of pocket by several hundred pounds. Not a chance I’d be willing to take!

Chickychoccyegg · 12/09/2018 08:14

first of all, it's not up to you if you want to delay payment, it will have been discussed and on your contract that you have signed.
speak to your cm asap, I'm sure she will try and help you out, but doubt she'll allow you to always pay in arrears, so next month you'll be due double if she agrees you can pay on the 30th. if you don't discuss this and just try to withhold fee's, you will be given notice!

EricTheGuineaPig · 12/09/2018 08:14

It really doesn't matter if you think it's ridiculous. All that matters is what is on the contract and whether the OP is likely to get different terms from a different childminder. Only she can answer the former but as this thread shows, she is very unlikely to get different terms elsewhere. Rather than working the OP up into a state of righteous indignation, it would be far more helpful to try and work out a solution to her wages in arrears, childcare in advance issue.

twickletoes · 12/09/2018 08:16

Due to looking after children for a month and parents then just don't turn up again and don't pay I've lost slot of £ so now they pay before I care for the child
Our insurance is meant to help fight for unpaid bills but they always find loop holes

Rhiannon13 · 12/09/2018 08:21

The best way forward here is for the OP to ask if she can pay weekly in advance up to October. Some childminders will agree to this arrangement permanently (I've done this when parents are struggling to pay monthly).

And always read contracts thoroughly before signing!

BaggyAndABitLooseAtTheSeams · 12/09/2018 08:24

The CM is providing a service and the payment terms should be stipulated in the contract. In the same way as you would choose whether to pay for any other service, you decide whether you are happy with those conditions and enter into the contract?

If the payment in advance was out of kilter with the market, I think this would impact the CM's business as customers may go elsewhere

Monty27 · 12/09/2018 08:30

You are buying something. I cannot understand how ppl think they can pay later.
Like I said previously try that in the supermarket.
I am not a childminder but I have used them when DC's needed it. Expensive as hell yes but you still need to pay them upfront. There's no relevance your pay date.. I don't understand why people don't get that.
A cm payday is their pay day one month in advance usually from when you start using them.

StatisticallyChallenged · 12/09/2018 08:36

As most other people have said, the vast majority of childminders and bigger childcare businesses are payment in advance. Sadly the reality is that a large number of parents don't consider their childcare as anything close to being a priority bill and will happily piss off at the end of the billing period owing a full month's fees, never mind the month's notice that's also in our contracts.

DH was a CM and we now run a bigger childcare business and we've honestly had to start being pretty no nonsense about payment in advance as almost every time we've deviated from it over the last few years, we've got bitten. It's also very difficult to recover money in reality so pretty much the only lever childcare providers have to ensure they actually get paid is being able to say "pay up, or care stops".

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 12/09/2018 08:51

I pay my childminder in advance for the month. She can invoice me up to the day she wants paying but she is always paid on time.
She is running a business, she has bills she needs to pay and it's in the contract.
She is brilliant with my son, he loves her and she loves him. There is no way I would want to make anything difficult or awkward for her/our relationship by not paying her on time.
However you should have established this before you started, and explained if you wouldn't be able to pay. She may have been able to arrange something for you.

zsazsajuju · 12/09/2018 09:00

As i said cm are often cf. it’s extremely rare to pay for a service in advance, cm are not special (although some think they are). Nursing providers are not paid in advance nor are nurses. Nor is anyone. I don’t pay for any services in advance. Yet many businesses have outlays and everyone has bills. I’m afraid I don’t think cm are special.

That being said, you do need to take a practical approach and see if you can negotiate something unless you have alternative childcare. Childminder’s do often take advantage of desperate parents.

SoupDragon · 12/09/2018 09:05

it’s extremely rare to pay for a service in advance

Except it isn’t.

glintandglide · 12/09/2018 09:05

Zsa any company whose payday isn’t the last day of the month is paying their staff
Some element in advance.

I pay the nursery on the 1st of the month, in advance.

I pay my mortgage in advance

Rent is charged in advance

I don’t know why you’re so gobsmacked by it?

5hell · 12/09/2018 09:06

zsazsajuju its not "extremely rare" to pay for a service in advance, just two common ones off the top of my head...

booking a holiday - pay in advance
care home for elderly relatives - pay in advance

nokidshere · 12/09/2018 09:08

I charge in advance and I stipulate how I am to receive the money (direct bank or dd). Too many bounced cheques or excuses as to why I didn't get paid on time preceded my decision to do this. I try and make it easy though, the parents pay me on the day they get paid.

SoupDragon · 12/09/2018 09:10

Go to any attraction: pay in advance, not on exit
School fees
School trips
School dinners
Phone contract

onewayoflife · 12/09/2018 09:11

You're not being unreasonable as long as you're happy to pay late fees!

We pay at the end of the month for what we've had the previous month but we did have to pay a full months fees as a sort of holding deposit.

Can you speak to them about changing the date you pay so it coincides with when you are paid?

Timeisslippingaway · 12/09/2018 09:14

@nokidshere

I tried this too with one of my parents (no one else has ever asked me before) I still font get paid until nearly a week after they have been paid and every month they try and cut me short for one reason or another.

rainingcatsanddog · 12/09/2018 09:14

Check your contract- I suspect that you'll be liable for late fees (and for her to withdraw her services) if you paid late.

When I had a CM I paid her a week in advance which was more convenient for me.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 12/09/2018 09:14

I'm surprised you think it's ridiculous if you look at the risk profile the CM is much more vulnerable to families getting a month of childcare and then disappearing the you are of the CM taking your money then refusing to care for your child.

Snoopychildminder · 12/09/2018 09:15

Oh this really frustrates me. Angry

If you didn’t like the way the childminder set up her fees and invoices then you didn’t have to agree to send your child there.

Childminders are entitled to charge how they wish.

I charge in advance of the month as I have found far too many parents, I trusted, did a runner without me paying. By having an in advance payment it protects me from issues like this.

You would be totally out of order to delay paying and you could risk losing your place.
We are not made of money. We work incredibly hard to love and care for your children, please treat us with respect and honour the agreement you made.

SpeedbirdFoxtrot · 12/09/2018 09:16

I’ve done it both ways. Only one out of four childminders said that I could pay in arrears. When I offered her the money in advance she said she didn’t operate like that, but I don’t think it’s the norm.

Timeisslippingaway · 12/09/2018 09:16

@zsazsajuju

Most of the time it's parents taking advantage of cms actually. But I'm sure you know best from your one bad experience.

Figgygal · 12/09/2018 09:18

Have always paid childcare (cm, nursery and afterschool club) in advance

nokidshere · 12/09/2018 09:18

@Timeisslippingaway

Thankfully my parents of the last few years have been excellent and have never been late or missed payments. But you have to develop a thick skin initially. No money, no childcare!

Bowerbird5 · 12/09/2018 09:19

Goodness things have changed. An interesting thread. I used to charge weekly at the end of the week. Some asked for monthly so it coincided with their pay. My friend also gave weekly bill unless asked. Mind you I used to allow for fifteen minutes late due to traffic in town but one used to be about fourteen minutes nearly every day and quibbled about anything. She was Deputy Head of a local school.
That was 20 years ago though so things have tightened up it seems. Talk to her and explain. I much preferred it if people were up front. Could you manage to give her half?