To feel uncomfortable class TA has child in same year group.

[Rainbowturkey]

I just found that one of the school parents is he class TA this year, her child is in the year group she works in.
I don’t feel comfortable about this. Part of the reason is because my child has special needs and health problems, I don’t want a parent to be part any meetings held about my child. Also I feel it’s a conflict of interest and they should have put her in another year group.
AIBU to be unhappy?

I think so, sorry. But most schools have some parents as staff. They should all be professional and keep confidential things confidential and schools should be keeping sensitive information on a need to know basis anyway. If you find anything suggesting they aren't professional then complain at that point.

My mother taught at the Primary school I went to, but I don't know whether it was by chance or design that she never taught the class I was in.

Yes you are. She is a professional and will treat any school related matters with a professional hat on.

Yes YABU. Would you feel the same if your GP had a child in your child's year?

How do you know she's a professional? The TAs at DD's primary were unqualified and a bunch of gossips.

Do you automatically assume someone's unqualified and a total gossip? If the OP had told us the other mum was like this I think she'd be getting different advice.

I thought the same. DS's art teacher has a son in DS's class. It changed everything for him. She was so horrified when she found out DS was being bullied (had to stand in when class teacher was away) that she stamped it out immediately. I honestly think the fact that DS was the same age as her son and it could have been him made her "more protective" of my DS. She reacted more as a parent would than as teacher with all the official let's pair them together so they get on nonsense. It doesn't have to be negative.

BarbarianMum. I wouldn’t care if my GP had a child in the same year as my child, it’s a completely different matter.

It’s a large primary and a few of the teachers have had their children at the school yet have always avoided teaching them by moving year groups.

DH was taught by his mum, and his dad was his headmaster!

I am a TA and also a Mum at the school. I have worked in my own child's year group before without any problems but I was mindful that other parents might, initially, feel uncomfortable. I take professionalism in my role very seriously and would never disclose information I need to have to do my job. I am sure you will find that the TA will respect your privacy. She will only be given information on a need to know basis anyway. Obviously, if you find that she is not behaving as she should then at that point have word with the Head.

I think you're looking for problems that don't even exist. Basically, you're labeling this person as being unprofessional and there hasn't even been a problem. That's just not reasonable or fair.

Can you have a chat with the class teacher or the head of year to discuss this prior to the meeting? You are perfectly entitled to voice your concerns and it is better to have discussed this first.

we are at a small village school there is only 1 class per year one of my close friends is my daughters teacher we have known her since my DD was 6 months old, my DD switches easily between say Ann and Mrs Smith, the other pupils know this as another child has her mother as school cook, at least 2 TA's and 1 dinner lady have children at the school, people understand that for other teachers and pupils in a small village people will also be friends with staff you just need to be discreet

I used to work in NHS on a small island if some patients were not also friends I would have had no friends because every person living there was one of our patients, so I treated the dentist and he treated me also the baker , the teacher the car mechanic but in turn they fixed my car etc

It would seem a better solution to have their child in a different class because I can't imagine a parent being able to be completely objective. The dynamics would be different. If she praises/notices her child - shes showing favourites. If she ignores them/find fault - she sholding them back. Big can of worms.

But I'd also expect a TA to be professional regardless, so less concerned about the confidentiality issue.

I was taught by my Dad. TBH I think you're teacher first and parent after, and it doesn't make so much difference whether it's the same class or year group or not: you have access to a lot of information (My dad was head, so all the info) and you know fine well that it all has to be kept completely confidential. I grew up knowing the rules of confidentiality, and am thus a marvellous friend and also professional! It is lonely sometimes, being the secret keeper, but if you are a teacher/doctor/lawyer/accountant/social worker etc, that's just how life is.

You are being massively unreasonable, sorry. This TA is there as a professional and should be treated as such. She's not just some Mum who's pitched up for a bit of gossip.

I would say that there are a good 4-5 mums who are TA’s at my infants school with kids there also. I expect this would not go down well with you if it were your school.

We had this for a few years and never a problem as she was very professional.

The kids did sometimes call her ‘Fred’s mum’ instead of ‘Mrs X’.

But a GP could also be another parent who is involved in school meetings about your child. So why would it be different?

YABU.

Good job you don't live in a small village.

You’d have hated our primary school then. Quite a biggish school I suppose but a rural location and about half the teachers and the majority of TAs had children at the school. As did the office admin staff and even the caretaker. (It was a local school for local people ) It was the reason that a lot of them had interviewed for the job in the first place, convenience of location, holidays etc. I was friends with a group of them and I can promise you they never shared any information that they shouldn’t have. They were professionals.

In one of my DD's classes at secondary, the teacher was the mother of one of the boys in the class. He was apparently treated no differently to all the others and the teacher was always firm but fair with all of them.

I know of at least 5 other teachers who have taught their children too. No issues with that. It's very common.

If they're professional, nothing about your child will be relayed to the child of the TA. If it was then you wouldn't be unreasonable to complain but I think you're jumping the gun a bit.

Actually, my best friend is mum to DD1s best friend and was also the PE teacher at their middle school. DDs BF always used to mistakenly call her Mum (much to the amusement of the class) during PE. Whenever she was reminded ‘It’s Mrs XX during lessons’ she would say ‘Oh yes, sorry Mum’

I think it’s rather nice when there’s personal connections. OP have you given any thought to parent volunteers helping in the classrooms? If your concerned about the TA, the volunteers will surely curl your socks.

It sounds as if I’m being unreasonable!
She’s my fourth child and it honestly wouldn’t have bothered me with the others. Due to DDs special needs and behavioural problems I don’t feel comfortable. It’s something I just have to get over as I can’t change it!