To feel uncomfortable class TA has child in same year group.

[Rainbowturkey]

I just found that one of the school parents is he class TA this year, her child is in the year group she works in.
I don’t feel comfortable about this. Part of the reason is because my child has special needs and health problems, I don’t want a parent to be part any meetings held about my child. Also I feel it’s a conflict of interest and they should have put her in another year group.
AIBU to be unhappy?

Most of the TAs in my dcs mum we’re school mums. Confidentiality is an important part of their job. If they are caught gossiping confidential information, then it’s a serious offence.

Grasslands parent volunteers aren’t told private information a TA who’s working with a child might be.

I think as someone else as said as a paid member of staff, she needs to be utterly professional and there should be no reason why this is otherwise.

However, its the 'parent helpers' than can be a nighmare, who see a snapshot of the day, want their dc to be the favoured child and then gossip about things in the playground. Now obviously this isn't the norm - hopefully. But it was in my DCs school.

GrumpyMcGrumpface

I was taught by my Dad. TBH I think you're teacher first and parent after, and it doesn't make so much difference whether it's the same class or year group or not: you have access to a lot of information (My dad was head, so all the info) and you know fine well that it all has to be kept completely confidential. I grew up knowing the rules of confidentiality, and am thus a marvellous friend and also professional! It is lonely sometimes, being the secret keeper, but if you are a teacher/doctor/lawyer/accountant/social worker etc, that's just how life is

My experience, exactly, too ! I never had any difficulty about calling him Sir or Mr Platypus’sPa rather than Dad and was neither given more leeway or treated more strictly than the others, but I also was aware of not letting him or our family down by being badly behaved.I would never have betrayed any information I came across or overheard ,even in those less data sensitive times . My best friend’s father was our GP, with his wife as receptionist ( common,mtears ago in small practices) and they had similar rules of discretion.

It's possible (and likely) that she will have access to personal info on your child anyway, even if in a different year group - it will be discussed in team meetings to support your child in the playground or at lunch which TAs often do.

The very nature of a TA job means it's perfect for a local parent to do. I imagine you'd be hard pressed to find a primary school where none of the TAs were parents to kids currently at the school.

Can i just remind/assure you that confidentiality is taken very seriously. I was a TA for 9 years and at one point i had all 3 of my kids at the same school. Two of the teachers had kids there. Many of the kids in 'my' classes were good friends with my girls.

I don't really understand what the specific problem is with TAs with kids at the school tbh. Why would they be any more likely to gossip than any other member of staff?

In our school teachers and TAs do not teach their own children, they are in a different class (2 form entry). Unless it’s a single form entry I don’t think it’s ideal.

Ridiculous. Our school is very small and most of the TA's are related to pupils, it's just how it is. We trust that they will do the job they are trained to do and maintain confidentiality. It wouldn't worry me at all and smacks of paranoia.

I agree with you op. Ds has special needs and needs a lot of support with emotions and behaviour. 2 boys in his class have their mums in the class as Sen TAs. 1 has been there a long time and doesn't have anything to do with parents out of school and seems professional. The other was a really good friend and she took the job on with no training or prior experience. Within a few weeks of seeing ds in school, she stopped speaking to me and many others stopped too who she is friends with. There is a rumour that he's a naughty boy (he has ASD) and shouldn't be in the school. I feel really uncomfortable that she supports him at times when I know she thinks that (she's told me). If he didn't have SEN I wouldn't care. It's a weird thing.

Agree with sandstorm.

This has never been allowed in our childrens primary or secondary school. Any TAs are put into a different class to their own children.

My friend works at the primary school my DS attends, she's probably party to information about my DS that she otherwise wouldn't be.

Deputy Head has 2 kids in the school, Head has 1 and the y4 teacher has 2.

Their role is as a member of staff, not "a parent".

Why on earth does it matter, it's not like they will go gossiping with other mums in the playground, they'd lose their jobs!

Im a TA and last year my son was in my year. I distanced myself completely from him and in fact was harder on him than any other child in the year.

The only negative thing was that I became extremely attached to the year group and it was incredibly hard when they moved on in the summer.

What are your concerns specifically?

I’m a ta and a parent at the school. I would NEVER repeat anything I heard about a child 8 school (or about anything), likewise, would not repeat stuff that happens in school, outside school iykwim. If she does, she could lose her job!
I can understand why you would be uncomfortable, but she should be professional about it.
Speak to the class teacher if you’re concerned.

I do understand. DS1's TA in Yr6 was someone who had DC at the school, though they were in different classes our youngest were the same age, but were not yet at school. It's a fairly small village.

It was fine until we starting having problems with how the teacher and TAs were dealing with DS1 which we ended up having to escalate to the Head. The head was not happy about what had been going on. I then found myself on the receiving end of some unpleasant behaviour from her out of school. I ended up dreading younger DC starting reception as she had a lot of close friends with DC going into the same class. It did blow over and she stopped being so awful. But I also wasn't sad when she moved her DC to another school either!

Ds 1-1 this year has a child the year above ds.

She is a lovely woman who has already developed a bond with ds. She is doing her job and so far seems to be doing it very well. That’s all that matters!

I work in same yr group as my dc. The ta is not in their child's class and would have limited contact with their child during the day. Any information would only be divulged on a need to know basis. Training is regularly given re GDPR, safeguarding, confidentiality etc. It is actually very insulting that people class unqualified people as gossips.

What exactly makes you uncomfortable? The fear that she might gossip? Or treating your DC differently because she knows you?

Is it actually the same class? I notice you say she is in the same class and has a child “in the same year group”.

I think YABU, DD's teacher and TA are both mums in my eldest DS class. I see it as a bonus as they look out for her and I get an extra insight into what she's upto during the school day! They are not allowed to discuss your children outside of the school and if they were they would get in trouble.

Wouldn’t bother me, lots of the TAs have children at the school. Ds also has special needs and behavioural problems. His brothers TA had a child in ds class last year

The majority of them know he has SN anyway, probably all of the staff actually, he comes in contact with more than just the teachers in his class

I actually think it says a lot about a school if a lot of staff choose to send their children there! Members of staff from deputy head down all use the school for their children at ds school and that shows me how much they really do think of the school!

At the school I work at all the staff are kept seperate from their own children for this very reason. To be honest I wouldn't like to be put in that position as you are kind of doomed if you do and doomed if you don't etc.

I agree it is a conflict of interest and no matter how professional we are we are all human and it will undoubtedely play a part at some point. Much easier to avoid the situation occuring altogether.

HIghly unlikely she would be taking part in any meetings where details of your child’s needs would be shared. She will, at most, see any behavioural issues in class but if any information about that gets around you will be able to raise it with the Head.
It’s not best practice to have a staff member in the same class as their child, however.

I'm not clear exactly what you are worried about, and why her child being in the same year is such a particular issue.

Is it that you think she will tell confidential information to her child who is in the same year group as your DS? Or that she will tell it to other parents, because you think this is somehow more likely if the kids are in the same year?

If you can explain what you are worried about, people may be better able to reassure you.