To spell my husbands name correctly.

[Burlea]

In the last 5/6 years when my DB and SIL send DH a Birthday card or us a Christmas/Anniversary card, they have spelt his name wrong ( his ends in 2 Ns,they only put 1).
I have told them a number of times and their reply his that one of their friends spells theirs with only one N. We don't live close so only see about once a year but and it's a big but they have know DH for over 40 years.
DH has now sent a birthday card to SIL (1/9/2018) with his name highlighted with bright yellow marker pen yet it is our wedding anniversary today and the card has come with his name spelt wrong. DH hasn't seen this card yet. I think I'll bin it as I don't want anything spoiling our day.
DB is my older brother and I don't want to fall out with him. But I feel as though they are disrespectful to DH.

Your dh is taking it too much to heart. Either you add the extra N on as per KateN and DaveN - good idea Tinty or miss a letter off the end of their names, ie Kat and Dav. Tbh you could have a bit of fun with this and at the same time diffuse the tension. You really could have it a lot worse you know. My sil is vile to dd and me and my brother violent with me.

My name is Anne. I got a Christmas card from Ann to Ann. Did I send one back with to Anne from Anne? No I didn’t assume she spelled her name the same as I spelled mine. 😁

That would drive me crackers. It’s very passive aggressive to carry on misspelling it even when you’ve pointed it out.

Write the extra N in yourself. It won't matter if it's obvious, your DH won't know that it's not a correction done by your relatives.

Then make sure you misspell their names next time you send them a card.

My own gran spells my name wrong, she’s a wonderful person who loves me very much she’s just useless when it comes to names, I’d leave it unless he’s really that arsed.

My SIL spells my lo's name wrong because that's the way she's spells it... Obviously... but then again she is a fucking twat...

I'm with your DH on this.
It's not petty, it's rude to consistently forget how to spell someone's name correctly, IMO.

My name is one that can be spelt one of 2 ways, with or without an extra letter on the end. Mine doesn't have it. Lots of people add the extra letter. One relative, who has known me ALL of my 50+ years, has ALWAYS spelt it with the extra letter. This makes me really cross!

When I get emails sent to me with the extra letter added, I send them back to the person, adding the same extra letter to the end of their name. This has worked for me in about 2/3 of cases, but it is a bit passive-aggressive and I know that. I find emails even more annoying because my name is right there in front of them, on the email address - they have no excuse apart from "oh I always spell it like that". Well, that's not my name.

So no, neither you nor your DH are being unreasonable about this - it's really NOT hard to get a single letter issue sorted in a name, and it's bloody rude not to, especially when you've been told about it!

I do like the idea of sending them cards with the last letter of their name missed off too though.

Them missing an 'n' from a card is likely to spoil your day? Are you kidding me?!?!?!

No, them consistently spelling the name wrong for years, despite being asked not to, thereby telling you how little they think of you is what upsets people.

It bugs me too. No problem with a simple mistake, even one made a few times but someone telling you they simply don't give enough of a shit about you to spell your name correctly is bloody rude. Its really not difficult to get someone's name correct once you have been told what it is and how to spell it.

It's annoying but highlighting his name and it ruining your day are over reactions.

It's bloody rude and disrespectful.

The next time they send a card saying "To Glen, happy birthday, love Dave and Kate" send their anniversary card saying "To Tom and Betty, love Glenn and Burlea"

When they question it, tell them that you have friends with those names

Every year we'd get a Xmas card for Lego and Dave. DH is not called Dave. Or anything like Dave. We see the funny side. The relies probably think Lego and Dave are really rude and never send a card back. We do, but put the correct name on it each year!!

This really irks me, and I'm petty enough to call people out on it. Someone was emailing me at work and spelling my name wrong every time (bearing in mind it's IN MY EMAIL SIGNATURE). Stephen soon started getting emails beginning, "Hi Steven..."

He quickly started spelling my name right after that.

No problem with a simple mistake, even one made a few times but someone telling you they simply don't give enough of a shit about you to spell your name correctly is bloody rude.

This about sums up how I would feel about the issue. It is not just a missing 'n' it is the meaning behind the missing letter that you are not important enough for me to remember how to spell your name.

Relatives often spell my dad's name wrong, he's been married to my mum forty odd years! It's not an obscure name, just the less common way of spelling it!

My aunty spells my name wrong on my birthday card, always has, I'm in my 30s! Again a very normal name easy to spell, she just misses out an "e", it's a different name without the "e"!!!

I just think well at least they bother sending cards and obviously don't realise, I don't get stressed over it.

It really does not matter.

My son often receives a birthday card addressed to

Jame’s

I have a name with 2 common spellings (like Ann/Anne but not that one). It never used to both me if people got it wrong but as I have become old and curmudgeonly i have become much less tolerant and think it is rude unless, for example, they had only heard my name, e.g. on a phone, and not seen it written down before. I send emails with the name correctly spelt in both the email address and signature and they still get the wrong spelling in rely (not from friends and family, but even from some colleagues I have worked with for years). I do not think the other spelling is significantly more common. It would not spoil an anniversary for me though!

Meh.
You can work out what my name is from my online name.
All my life people have spelled/pronounced it wrong.
If I'd let it bother me I'd be a grumpier cow than I am now.
Let it go.
Happy Anniversary.

My ex MIL still spells my middle child's name incorrectly - it just seems to be a complete block to her! My daughters name often gets spelled incorrectly too - neither of them are 'awkward' names either

It's disrespectful.

No different than friends/family refusing to acknowledge when a woman hasn't changed her name when she got married and insisting upon using the married name.

Grow up - really. life's too short. It does not matter - at all. You know who the card is for, you know they have remembered him and taken time and trouble to get in touch so why make a drama about it. Stupid passive aggressive games just show how small minded you are - and they are unlikely to remember next time.

Really, no-one cares how you spell your name

I find it weird that people would bother to send you an anniversary card but not bother to spell the name correctly, despite being asked.

I’d bin the card, not mention it to DH, and have a lovely day :)

Pathetic

My name can be spelled 2 different ways. It annoys me when people (close friends, family) get it wrong. Was surprised when my own mum managed to spell it wrong in my Christmas card one year though 😆

'DH has now sent a birthday card to SIL (1/9/2018) with his name highlighted with bright yellow marker pen'

Also pathetic