This year i will be having Xmas day at my house with my 2 kids , first time post divorce. Agreement is exh and i alternate years having Xmas at our homes, other parent comes for Xmas day.
Last year we weren't divorced but in process of unbeknownst to kids; his parents hosted, lot of usually distant family around, i went for xmas and boxing day, then left them to it. This year its my turn to have kids for xmas. In my new home. I have to have exh, fine, but i don't really want to have to invite the ex-inlaws as well.
For context, 80% of xmases past we have spent with ex inlaws at either their or our house( 20% of xmases with my family who live far away). When we were married the Ex in laws always invited the only member of my family who lives near me when they hosted xmas as well. Ex in laws have no other children locally but have extended family a bit further away.
I feel like the "right thing" to do is invite them, but i just don't want them there, i will end up being cranky and on edge and not enjoy the day which is first post divorce. Even if i just invited for lunch they will turn up crack of dawn and stay until the death and dominate the day with my exh there too; and i think it will set a precedent that they expect to come every time i have xmas.
I expect the exh will be outraged if i don't invite them and bring up that they have always invited my family member to their house when they hosted and that i am stopping them to see their gkids on xmas day and what /who will they some Xmas with