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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN’s Strange Behaviour

92 replies

Bronxer · 11/09/2018 07:30

Apologies it’s another boring neighbour dispute thread but I’m really Hmm at this behaviour.

My NDNs have their bedroom on the same floor as me (loft conversion). Our stairs are quite squeaky so can hear when each other goes up and down the stairs. I got up at 6 to get ready for work which is a reasonable time to me. I collected things from my bedroom and sat on my bed for a while. They got up around 7am. I heard them go down the stairs, stop halfway and repeatedly knock on our adjoining wall. The walls are very thin so was easily distinguishable as them knocking and not anything else making a noise. They did it around 10 times and stopped. Now 10 minutes later I can still hear them hovering on the stairs and they have knocked again a few times. It’s definitely not a hammer or anything like that so they are purposefully doing it to be PA because I woke them up or something? Or they think I’ve gone back to sleep and they’re trying to wake me up. Not on good terms with them due to other weird and instrusive behaviours. Have made a few threads under a NC before. I’m the only person living here, no pets, no friends over or any music. My house is pretty empty most of the time so minimal normal noise levels.

AIBU to think this is really strange behaviour? 6am is the time most people will be up for work and not really something I can avoid. It’s very PA and just downright immature. Not something I expect from a couple 40 years my seniorConfused They’re early retired and rarely ever leave the house so I don’t see why they can’t just go back to bed if it bothers them. I will speak to them if they do it. Really at the end of my tether, don’t want to drip feed what else they’ve done. They wouldn’t be able to cope if I had a baby!

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 11/09/2018 07:33

Have you asked them why they are doing this?

Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 07:38

I’ve just got to work but will try and speak to them later. I really don’t know what to say to them though. I’ve had a huge tirade of harrassment and even an incident of criminal damage from them over the past year. I’ve complained to the council multiple times but they just told me to get the police involved. Couldn’t get them charged for the criminal damage as there was no evidence (damage to gardens). I really don’t see their problem as I’m rarely ever here. In fact I think they’re lucky to have me as their neighbour. I wish I lived next to someone as quiet as me😂 I’ll stop drip feeding now!

OP posts:
PlateOfBiscuits · 11/09/2018 07:43

I would have been over there playing completely innocent: “Is everything ok? I could hear you banging. Do you need help?”

Tell them you worry about them. Kill them with kindness.

Urbanbeetler · 11/09/2018 07:43

They do sound a nightmare. I don’t know the answer except log everything so when they take a step too far you have some evidence of their craziness.

Urbanbeetler · 11/09/2018 07:43

I like the idea of killing them with kindness!

CryptoFascist · 11/09/2018 07:45

I think, given what you've said about past behaviour from them, I wouldn't bother challenging them on this. Let them stand on the stairs tapping, you're up and off to work anyway, it's only themselves they're bothering really.

MiniCooperLover · 11/09/2018 07:48

Isn't there always the risk that your neighbour was trying to get your attention for some help? But if not I don't know what to suggest.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 11/09/2018 07:49

Do you set an alarm? Maybe you are waking them up!!
I don't need an alarm when I have ndn fucking yappy ddog to wake me at 6.30.
Just need to adjust its neck to make it 7.30.....

Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 07:51

I’ve often been kind but patronising without them really realising it it’s greatGrin I’ll follow that route if they do it again, thank you PlateOfBiscuits! It has all got quite entertaining now although it can be bit much sometimes. It just makes me wonder how boring their lives must be if they always feel the need to interfere with mine!

OP posts:
Skittlesandbeer · 11/09/2018 07:53

Don’t react at all. It’s giving them what they crave.

Or do the ‘shave and a haircut’ knock back at them. Do it over and over until they respond with the ending ‘two bits’ of the tune. Do it randomly at all times of day and night, loudly and very softly.

But that’s me. I always like to make it clear I can be Olympic-level annoying, but choose not to. Just to give them pause before their next ridiculous onslaught.

Pywife2 · 11/09/2018 07:55

Is there any chance they're having sex against the wall? That might cause a knocking sound. Stop invading their privacy, OP! Wink

Jengnr · 11/09/2018 07:58

If it's tapping on the wall and you're up anyway so it's just weird I'd ignore it. Maybe write times and dates in a notebook to build a picture in case any other weird stuff happens but otherwise ignore it.

I would probably start getting up at five though, just out of badness.

Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 08:00

I don’t have an alarm as they never go off when they’re meant to anyway for me and I wake up naturally. Only noise they’ll be hearing is me going up and down the stairs. I really don’t think 6am on weekdays is unacceptable and most working people are awake at that time. Should I not go downstairs in the middle of the night if I need the toilet because it might wake them up? It would be a crazy way to live. My neighbours the other side crash about like no tomorrow from 5am every single day. Maybe we should swap for a week then they’ll realise I’m not that bad! I barely even have my TV on. I’d understand them being mad at 6am wake ups if they worked nights or if I was really noisy all the time. There’s two of them and they’ve got mobile phones so I don’t think they’d need to knock for help, I’m not sureConfused I’ll find out when I get home anyway and will update later as I’ve got to start work now

OP posts:
Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 08:01

I didn’t even consider that Pywife2 Blush😂

OP posts:
Sweetheart1313 · 11/09/2018 08:04

Are you 100% sure that they're knocking on the wall? I can hear what sounds like knocking occasionally, but it's actually pipes clanging or floorboards settling.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 11/09/2018 08:05

What time in the morning is reasonable is wholly subjective. You may think 6am is, but they clearly don’t. There’s nothing worse than being woken an hour before you get up anyway.

Sometimes I have to wake up for work at 3am. I think that’s reasonable, considering my start time. But I’d bet you nobody else would.

It’s all subjective, and obviously I don’t know the full backstory, but yeah I would be annoyed if my neighbour was waking me up every weekday an hour before I usually got up.

Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 08:10

I’ll just quit my job then and sleep til after 12 so I don’t wake them upHmm The other side of me gets up work work at 5am on weekends but I understand because they have to earn money. Both my neighbours make horrendous amounts of noise constantly and have large dogs. The NDNs dog barks for up to 20 mins at a time. They are in no way considerate of me so why should I walk on eggshells around them just to earn a living? I’ll link a few recordings of the dog barking when on my lunch. It’s just awful

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/09/2018 08:14

Is there any chance they're having sex against the wall? That might cause a knocking sound.

But only 10 knocks? How disappointing...

MrsExpo · 11/09/2018 08:14

Could you get someone in to repair the stairs so they don’t creak? How about sound proofing the adjoining wall?

Failing that, I’d just knock on your side of the wall a few times as you move about the house and play them at their own silly game.

underneaththeash · 11/09/2018 08:14

I'd just knock back!

6am is a normal time to be awake for work, they are just going to have to accept that.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 11/09/2018 08:14

There’s no need to be disingenuous. If you only wanted answers agreeing with you perhaps you shouldn’t have posted. I can only go off what you’ve written.

ElspethFlashman · 11/09/2018 08:16

I suggest the next time they do it you go around and ring their doorbell repeatedly and when they answer say "are you alright? I heard the knocking over and over? I was afraid one of you had fallen!"

Makes you look like the bigger person, helping despite the previous incidents and makes them look foolish for knocking.

Dollymixture22 · 11/09/2018 08:17

It does sound like early morning sex.

My neighbours bed knocks on the wall very loudly. It’s annoying as it often wakes me at 2 or 3 am. All they need to do is move the bed back a little!

Original poster
Bronxer · 11/09/2018 08:18

An hour before you wanted to wake up really isn’t that bad and is quite precious. Especially when said people are retired. Anyone who feels that way needs to get over it or get a detached property! They live the middle of a terrace with working families what the hell do they expectConfused

OP posts:
Kescilly · 11/09/2018 08:19

The poor soundproofing isn't your fault, but yes, 6am is early for some. I'm one of those people who can't go back to sleep once I've been woken up, so if you were my neighbour I'd be waking at six every day with you.