NDN’s Strange Behaviour

[Bronxer]

Apologies it’s another boring neighbour dispute thread but I’m really at this behaviour.

My NDNs have their bedroom on the same floor as me (loft conversion). Our stairs are quite squeaky so can hear when each other goes up and down the stairs. I got up at 6 to get ready for work which is a reasonable time to me. I collected things from my bedroom and sat on my bed for a while. They got up around 7am. I heard them go down the stairs, stop halfway and repeatedly knock on our adjoining wall. The walls are very thin so was easily distinguishable as them knocking and not anything else making a noise. They did it around 10 times and stopped. Now 10 minutes later I can still hear them hovering on the stairs and they have knocked again a few times. It’s definitely not a hammer or anything like that so they are purposefully doing it to be PA because I woke them up or something? Or they think I’ve gone back to sleep and they’re trying to wake me up. Not on good terms with them due to other weird and instrusive behaviours. Have made a few threads under a NC before. I’m the only person living here, no pets, no friends over or any music. My house is pretty empty most of the time so minimal normal noise levels.

AIBU to think this is really strange behaviour? 6am is the time most people will be up for work and not really something I can avoid. It’s very PA and just downright immature. Not something I expect from a couple 40 years my senior They’re early retired and rarely ever leave the house so I don’t see why they can’t just go back to bed if it bothers them. I will speak to them if they do it. Really at the end of my tether, don’t want to drip feed what else they’ve done. They wouldn’t be able to cope if I had a baby!

*herd of elephants

Similar to others, if they do it again, go straight to their front door ring the bell/knock loudly. Keep knocking until they answer. When they answer say "I heard you knocking of the wall, are you ok, I was so worried you might have fallen/had a heart attack, so had to check you were ok"

Shame they're such arses. My Nan had this problem in her semi detached bungalow whereby each neighbour's sitting room backed onto each other - they installed panels and problems went but not before nasty exchanges were made about belonging "6 Foot under". Be careful OP these things can escalate and cause long term bad karma all round that's rarely worth it.

It is definitely the loudest I’ve ever heard and I’ve been around loads of different dogs! It can be heard clearly from the third floor when the dog is on the ground floor or in the garden. Often barks both inside and outside past midnight. They’re usually always home so it’s mostly happening whilst they’re in the same room as the dog but when they’re out it can bark for up to an hour at a time. It infuriates me so much I can’t concentrate on anything

We had similar in our first home, small terrace, both me and DH up at 6am for work, retired neighbours, they put a note through our door asking us not to use the shower at 6am as it was waking them up! We had no kids, no pets, out from 7am - 6pm, no crazy parties or even people over to be honest, not sure what they expected us to do, sadly it was the start of a long period of neighbourly hell as nothing we ever did was 'right'. Couldn't have washing machine on after 7pm or before 8am or they'd complain, etc etc... culminating in neighbour being arrested and DH ending up in court. Worst few years of my life if i am honest, i would try and speak to them to sort out before it may escalate. Good luck, they sound unreasonable.

OP, no YANBU. I can see 6am is annoying when you don’t have to get up if as you say you don’t use an alarm clock to wake up can only be a short length of time.

My NDN gets up at 6am and I can hear him getting clothes out of the wardrobe, do I complain, no, part of life’s rich tapestry. These neighbours incidently complained about the next ones up whose alarm clock woke them up. NDN but one laughed at them and NDN had soundproofing put in that side.

You could start tapping at random intervals then knock and ask if they have heard the funny tapping noises. ‘Gosh hope we haven’t got Deathwatch Beetles in the properties’ round innocent eyes and head tilt. I have stayed somewhere with these and it does sound like someone tapping on the walls.

Thing is you aren't unreasonable and they are. So one idea based on drama theory is where you are so unreasonable / unpredictable that they shift to being reasonable in fear of provoking you. You do such unreasonable things and react so out of proportion that they don't want to set you off.

The downside of this approach could be that you just make them even more unreasonable and you'll be even worse off.

Personally I think I would stop trying to be so quiet, live normally and play music through headphones. Just for a couple of weeks, and see if that changes anything.

The dog barking is awful. I'd contact the RSPCA. Don't know whether they'd actually do anything but it's worth a try.

I haven't read the entire thread, so it may have been suggested before, but could it have been them using a brush on the stairs to sweep the corners before hoovering? The sound that makes will sound like knocking through the wall.

Hi OP,
I would hate to be woken up at 6 am, but if you were simply using your own stairs, I wouldn't blame you and I wouldn't be knocking on the walls. I would probably invest in some ear plugs.

They were certainly knocking for your attention, and didn't get it. be prepared for them to speak to you at some point, and drown them in sympathy.... "I know, I know, those stairs are so creaky, aren't they? I have the same problems hearing you at 1 am when I am trying to sleep... I have approached the landlord, but he isn't listening - maybe you could approach him too?... oh, and while we are talking, I wonder if I could mention your dogs...!!"

could it have been them using a brush on the stairs to sweep the corners before hoovering? The sound that makes will sound like knocking through the wall

Cunning! This sounds plausible.

YADNBU. They are with that bloody dog. That would drive me to distraction!

They do sound petty but someone disturbing your sleep is incredibly annoying. You say 6am is reasonable which of course it is but if one of them has sleep difficulties it might not seem so reasonable to them. I speak as someone who was kept awake until after 3am this morning by DHs snoring/night terrors. He then slept through his 7am alarm whilst I was jolted awake instantly. I KNOW it’s not his fault. I KNOW he doesn’t do it intentionally but in a sleep deprived state it’s hard to remain rational and understanding.

I wouldn’t have the nerve to kill them with kindness and concern as suggested above so in your case I would try and ignore them. Also, maybe try talc or WD40 between stair joints (if they aren’t covered by carpet). It might ease the squeaking.

Is it possible they have a barometer on the wall and are tapping that rather than the wall?

I think you've had a lot of crazy responses. Yes it's annoying to be woken up before you want to get up. But there are no terraced houses that I know of that have agreed wake up and bed times!? If a normal level of noise bothers people so much they should move, soundproof, change their bedroom around, go to bed earlier etc, not fall out with their neighbours for reasonable use of their own houses!

You're only using your stairs - unless you're wearing hard shoes and running on a wooden floor they are being crazy to knock, there isn't a way to live next door to people who make no noise

I would not like to be woken by neighbour noises. I live and work a different pattern to my neighbours. They slam doors at 6 a.m. and I am not happy about that. I come home late but try not to make a noise. Various neighbours use gardening machinery, often when I would like to be asleep. Others slam car doors.
We all have to live in our own time scale and try not to be disturbed by others or disturb others.

I’m coming from the privilege of never having batty neighbours, but seriously? Getting up and going downstairs quietly and OP should get the creaky stairs done, maybe install some soundproofing? In a house she doesn’t own? Fuck that. It’s reasonable noise whereas constant dog barking is not.

Occasionally I am woken by my neighbour leaving for work at 5am - he doesn’t slam the car door but it does make some noise. Should I ask him to park elsewhere to not wake me? I’m not retired but I normally get up at 8.....

I’m not saying btw that being woken isn’t annoying, but some noises are normal and if you’re such a light sleeper then you should get ear plugs or sleep elsewhere if possible.

Or move. Live in the country in a detached property miles from anyone if you don’t like noise.

That barking would drive me bonkers! How can they complain about you moving about in your house when they are making that much noise!!

These people will never see reason, they are entitled to make as much noise as they want but everyone else must be silent.

The knocking didn’t really Bother you and was more disruptive to them having to keep this up. The barking is a problem.

Sorry can’t offer much advice. What dreadful people.

Don’t start a war though as you will never win. These people will never see reason