To just want to enjoy my week off work!!

[Winchester89]

So I took this week off work- as my little angel started school and it's half days all week. Been looking forward to this week off for ages. Enter... twatty husband.
He's "working from home" all week. Mildly annoying in itself but never mind.
So today I got up, dropped said little angel at school at 9, walked back made breakfast, watched TV on the couch, went to pick her back up for 12, come back, make lunch. Me and little angel sat on the couch at 1pm, finished our lunch, watching paw patrol, enjoying life... enter... twatty husband;
Him 'When are you gonna sort that washing'
Me 'erm dunno, maybe later'
Him 'you're just sitting on the couch'
Me 'yes I know, I'm enjoying my day off'
Him ' you're so lazy'

I ignore him, me and little angel go upstairs, play in her room for a while, I Potter and tidy up a bit. Come downstairs about an hour ago.

Enter.. well, you get the idea!
Him 'you got anything to say'
Me ' I don't think you wanna hear what I've got to say'
Him ' you're so lazy, you're a child, you don't do anything unless forced to do it'
Me 'give me a break- it's Monday I have all week to do what I need to do'
Him (ranting and speaking to me like shite at this point) ' I've had it up to here with your laziness bla bla bla'

So I go upstairs and just cry in bed cos I'm 4 months pregnant and rather emotional anyway.

I am now angry (maybe irrationally so- who knows) but as I know he thinks he hasn't done anything wrong and I'm the bad guy here- he won't apologise.
So I am considering, as I have my scan tomorrow, and I don't wanna see his face right now for fear I'll try to break it-
Can I just leave the house tomorrow- pick little angel up from school, go out for tea, go to her dance lesson then straight to scan and not mention it to him? Then ignore him if he tries to contact me?

I am literally fuming. I feel like he spoke to me like I'm another one of his children and he's not my fucking dad.

Help me calm down. I really needed a rant. And I need to stop crying also but I'm like a box of Pringles l when it comes to crying.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially whilst pregnant.

Is your husband always such a dick? He needs to understand that you need a break too.

Hope you're ok xx

He sounds like a d*ck to be honest.

He is your daughters biological father?

Also, I know you mean well, but please stop calling your DD “little angel” every 3 sentences. It’s making my eyes hurt

And eat the Pringles

Your husband’s a prick. Why doesn’t he fucking do it?

Why are you with this idiot, let alone having another baby with him? 🙄

Thank you for replying!!
He's not always a dick, he has his moments tho.
I don't and never have enjoyed household chores- they are absolutely chores to me. Obviously they're done cos they have to be.
Sometimes he will do some small bit of tidying like it's the biggest thing in the world, but for me to do the same I'm just lazy.

In fact, this is probably the only thing we ever really argue over. Every few months it comes up. Maybe cos I'm not his mother/ex wife who would never have a full basket of washing as done every day (both of which didn't have jobs)

Urgh I'm just so annoyed right now.
I'm going to put little angel to bed and then go out for a drive I think

Tell him to do it himself it's it bothering him so much. He sounds awful and I wouldn't be putting up with that.

Plan a lovely day with your child tomorrow and tell him to get lost.

Unless annual leave was specifically taken for the purpose of chores, it should be considered a work day in terms of chores.
Ie no more chores than you would have done had you been in work.
Your DH is a twat, but don't stoop to his level and take him with you to your scan tomorrow.
You can however pull him aside and remind him that you are on annual leave which you earned for hard work and he needs to trust you to do the chores you would usually do and otherwise let you alone to enjoy your holiday.

Yes he's her dad. He's just got in his head that I'm off work so should be wizzing round the house doing all sorts. When really, I just want to do absolutely fuck all for a week

@negomi90
Yes this sounds a good plan!
I'm just gutted he's here all week now.

He is quite insensitive. Wouldn't hurt him, as he is working from home this week, to take your little one to nursery so you can have a lie in. I wonder what he would say if you suggested that?

It's not right to upset you like that but he may have just said it off the top of his head without thinking.

In future, if you're planning a day or days off from work, don't tell him in advance and try to ensure he is working outside the home at that time.

Tell him to piss off. Tell him that there is nothing stopping him from doing some of the chores if he wants them done so badly.

He does sound like a dick to be honest, and I would be telling him so.

Do an audit.
Keep a count of what you do and what he does. Show it to him at the end of the week/ month.
Agree to divide up the chores fairly and you'll decide how and when you do yours and he can do the same. If it nags you, you'll micro manage how he does his chores.
Tell him to stop managing you like you are his employee.
If he carries on, go on strike.

Get this sorted before you go maternity leave and make sure you are clear that whilst you are on maternity leave your job is looking after the children. Not doing his chores.

@Topseyt
Oh he was told- in this and many other expletives.
He's just made his own dinner and I'm crying again.

How passive-aggressive are you, OP?

I'd personally feel tempted to present him with a perfect project plan for your annual leave - including a well thought out work breakdown structure with tasks such as 'reading airport fiction' and 'watching crap on telly', printing it off and using the resource roster to conclusively prove that your leave doesn't allow for additional chores on the grounds that you're on a tight schedule and 'coffee with friends' is on the critical path and couldn't possibly be pushed.

Arguably, the adult way of handling this is what PP said. There's a reason I'm divorced.

@SkullPointerException

This really made me laugh! Thank you

If you both usually work full time I'm assuming all the household chores are split 50/50 yes?

What a dick he is calling you lazy in front of your dd. Not the best relationship model for her to aspire to is it.

If he's working from home all this week I'd have some lovely afternoons out with your DD and enjoy that time with her while she's not doing full days and you're off work.

Meh, he sounds like he’s approaching it like a twat, but I’d be pissed off if dh had a whole week off and spent it doing nothing at all towards the house.

Also not loving the ‘little angel’ pet name, I assume it’s facetous?

Are you usually quite hard working and have decided to be lazy for one week, or is he a wee bit correct that you are generally quite lazy and childish about keeping house together?

Tell him to fuck off.

Seriously.

Tell him to fuck off.

And then tell him you don't want him working from home this week if he can't shut his mouth and remember you are his equal, not his child or his servant. You are on holiday and having a bit of a break which you've earned. What needs to get done, will get done in your own time.
And do nothing for him. He can do his own laundry and make his own meals, the twat. Have a lovely time with your DD and enjoy your week off, because that is what it is supposed to be: a week off.

@NotTakenUsername
I'd give you that- except it's Monday! I hadn't even been off half a bloody day!

How can he argue with me about doing nothing all week at 1pm on my first day off!?

We both work full time, I'm home earlier than him as he leaves later- so tend to do more general tidying, making tea etc. I normally do the washing but I'm a once a week person all done at the same time.

Meh, he sounds like he’s approaching it like a twat, but I’d be pissed off if dh had a whole week off and spent it doing nothing at all towards the house.

It’s only Monday!

@BewareOfDragons
He's working from home as the office is being refurbed. So unfortunately for me, I can't get rid of him.

Tell him you’ll happily use your annual leave to do all the chores but can he let you know which week he’s taking off to do the same?

You should do ZERO housework all week. It is your week off, not your week of shivvying

This makes me so cross.

And once back at work don't pick up the slack. Do your half and leave his to rot.

Tosser.

Op with that update then her is definitely being unreasonable. Not excusing him but is he normally like this or is it out of character.

It’s really unpleasant to start name calling (especially when it’s not true) for. O reason. Is that his character?

Do you think he took the week to work at home purposely because you were at home? Or is it genuinely a coincidence?