I'll get to the point. I'm 29 and DH is a few years older than me. We have been married for two years and together for five years. We have two DC's together and I have one pre teen from my previous relationship.
My DH works full time (Mon - Fri 9 till 5) and I'm a SAHM, I help out at a health clinic that's within my DM's work sector I'm fingers crossed, going to be involved in some paid employment with this clinic in the future.
Before my DC's arrived, I did - school, college, uni and have had a few part time little jobs. A few short years ago I had major surgery and haven't been left "fully fixed" so I've been at home but always said to DH that I would eventually like to be in full time work.
We could live on his wages but they go into his account and I just get the basic CB etc. It's not even really about money, I would like a career for myself. So, I said that when our youngest goes to pre school then I would like to go into work.
He's always kind of given me an incoherent "Mmm" when I've spoken about it in the past. I didn't think too much about it but started to notice it more when he would moan about having to watch the kids whilst I did a night class at college a few months ago (it was on two hours once a week)
Our house is a bit on the small side, which I know annoys him, so thinking I was being helpful, I suggested that when I find a job, that I get one in the town he works in and we move there. That way everyone is in the same place. DH has this annoying habit of giving me the silent treatment when he hears something he doesn't like - which he did after I'd spoken.
When he eventually did speak, he said "I don't want things to change, I quite like things the way they are". Before I had time to question him, he also added that he didn't think it would be fair to expect him to do any of the school runs on top of "everything he already does" (work is all I could think of).
Now, I'm probably going to get flamed but I didn't say anything at the time, other than "Ok we'll leave it for now". I didn't say anything because I was hurt. It dawned on me, properly for the first time that my DH doesn't care about my career prospects and had never planned on doing the school run or taking time off if they were poorly.
But it's ok for me to spend the next however many years to do that on my own? He's even implied before that I should get a part time job that I could fit around school hours as he didn't want his work life to change. His employer is very family friendly and plenty of his colleagues work around their DC's.
I being unreasonable or is it ok to expect that the kids are 50/50 our responsibility? Am I being unreasonable to want a career? After struggling with my health, going into work is a huge thing for me and I feel like he doesn't give a rats ass about it 