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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hes not paying mortgage

62 replies

Needallthehelp · 09/09/2018 12:22

Ok. ExH moved out 20 months ago. And since then ive been paying the £1100 pm mortgage. Yes hes given me child maintenance but hasnt contributed towards the mortgage at all. He lives miles away now and pays virtually nothing in rent.

We are getting divorced and the house has been on the market a year with no luck and has now reduced 40k in value. However he wont actually allow me to reduce the price of the house?! Hence it's not selling.

Mean while hes still entitled to 50% of the equity when its sold! So although hes giving me child maintenance i feel that im pretty much a savings account for him as hes going to be getting his money back! If that makes sense.

My solicitor said id have to get permission to move out and rent somewhere cheaper.

But i dont see why i cant just move out too and leave the house empty? That way we would both have to pay for the mortgage. Or at least come to an agreement about the price? Or even let the courts take it? But then id probably never get a mortgage if i suddenly stop paying! I feel totally trapped in a house im scraping by to afford to live here.

I know it sounds drastic for me to consider this but am i being unreasonable? And any advice would be great

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 09/09/2018 12:24

Surely he's only entitled to 50% of the equity minus half of what you'd paid over the last year?

sprinklesandsauce · 09/09/2018 12:24

You will need to go to court to get a judge to rule that the price can be reduced, if your EX won't.

Why is he getting 50% of the equity now though if he doesn't pay the mortgage? Surely the equity should be up til the point where he stopped paying the mortgage?

PrettyInPJs · 09/09/2018 12:24

You can get a consent to let from your mortgage lenders. It’s usually very straightforward, especially if the reason is intention to sell pending divorce.

ChelleDawg2020 · 09/09/2018 12:28

Sorry, but I think he is entitled to 50% of the sale. The fact that he's not been paying is largely irrelevant if you are both joint owners. You are jointly responsible for paying the mortgage, i.e. the lender could sue either of you for 100% of the cost if neither of you were paying.

That's the risk you take when you make a joint commitment like this.

Sirzy · 09/09/2018 12:28

You would struggle to let it if it’s on the market, you have to offer a minimum term rental now don’t you?

When it sells you should be able to get half of what has been paid in mortgage back from the equity though. If he is an arse about the sale a court can order that they sign papers on his behalf

glintandglide · 09/09/2018 12:30

He’s playing, he knows that if he doesn’t pay the mortgage you’ll have to, because If you stop it will be repossessed. Cheeky fucker. I agree go back to court

Original poster
Needallthehelp · 09/09/2018 12:30

Yeah sadly the solicitor has said exactly that, that he is entitled to 50% and it is irrlevant that he isnt paying the mortgage! 😭

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 09/09/2018 12:31

My dad moved out of my mums house when I was 14 (I am now 33). He stopped helping eight he mortgage when I was 16. He is now trying to go for half of the house even though my mum has ripped it apart and put it together in that time (he moved out in 1999). My mums solicitor said he is within his rights to ask for half.

The world is bonkers. Sorry you’re going through this.

Singlenotsingle · 09/09/2018 12:33

Just pay half the mortgage and let it be repossessed. Or your life could be on hold for years. Apparently house prices are dropping

givemesteel · 09/09/2018 12:38

I would get a different solicitor if s/he can't give you advice and you're having to resort to asking people what to do on the internet.

You need a better lawyer.

Sirzy · 09/09/2018 12:39

Letting it be repossessed is really bad advice! Will have a massive knock on for years if you do that

LeftRightCentre · 09/09/2018 12:41

Go back to court and get a different solicitor.

TrumpsTinyCheesyWotsit · 09/09/2018 12:42

Get a different solicitor, the one you have sounds like a pile of wank. They work for you to look after your interests. They can not just announce that he gets 50% !! New solicitor, and go back to court.

sprinklesandsauce · 09/09/2018 12:43

OP, I would post this in legal, just the points about getting permission to reduce the price, and about the equity share.

Huskylover1 · 09/09/2018 12:45

Your Solicitor is talking shite. He is only entitled to assets (in this case equity) amassed during the period of the marriage. In this case, until marriage broke down and he left.

You are entitled to half of his Pension. You are also entitled to ££ for economic recompense, if you sacrificed your career to care for children (and he did not).

Honestly, I'd change Solicitor.

Joe66 · 09/09/2018 12:46

You can make an application to court regarding the sale of the property and fixing the price. Your solicitor should be informing you of your options. And it isn't a fixed 50 per cent. This is negotiable and your solicitor should be negotiating with your ex to deal with this.

Jaxhog · 09/09/2018 12:48

Wow! Go back to court ASAP! And get a better solicitor.

Joe66 · 09/09/2018 12:49

Actually I can see you have children so you should be looking at at least 65 to 70 per cent of the property to enable you to find somewhere else to live. And as somebody else has said a pension sharing order plus at least half of any accrued savings/investments. Have the form e been completed?

Huskylover1 · 09/09/2018 12:50

And in the meantime, I'd apply for a payment holiday on the Mortgage, or switch to Interest only.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/mortgage-arrears-help/#eligible

TittyGolightly · 09/09/2018 12:51

Wouldn’t the equity split usually be considered as part of the divorce settlement?

Huskylover1 · 09/09/2018 12:53

I'd also get it in writing (e-mail will do) from the Estate Agent, that the price is being marketed at too high a price, and that they (the Agents) recommend dropping the price to £x. Then I'd start an e-mail chain between you and the Ex, wherein you advise him of the Estate Agents advice, and he replies saying that he wants to disregard the professional advice, and stick with an over-inflated sale price. This will go towards explaining why the property didn't sell. Would be very good for you to have this.

Huskylover1 · 09/09/2018 12:54
  • that the house is being marketed at too high a price
Original poster
Needallthehelp · 09/09/2018 12:56

Yes form E's have been completed and exchanged. He doesnt want to pay costs of selling the house including the early redemption fee of 6k.

He has an old style civil service pension too that he doesnt want me to touch. Hes fighting to give me a 1/3 and nothing more.

I feel like this guy is trying to screw me over big style. After 17 years you think you know someone dont you! He was also the ome that caused the marriage to fall apart. Dont really want to go into details but just so you know

OP posts:
ResistanceIsNecessary · 09/09/2018 12:59

Ring mortgage lender and ask if you can have a payment holiday. The interest will continue to be added to the loan but it will give you some breathing space.

Find a better solicitor - if your Ex is being an arse then you need a SHL* who will go for the nuts and get you the best possible deal.

*Shit Hot Lawyer. Ask for recommendations - try re-posting in Relationships with your approx. location, as some MNers may be able to help with word of mouth.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 09/09/2018 13:01

Phone round some solicitors locally and ask for a free initial consultation. Put the whole thing in front of a few solicitors and see what they say. Your current solicitor is not giving you good advice (and there are several of us saying that). You have nothing to lose by doing this and much to gain if we’re right!