Hes not paying mortgage

[Needallthehelp]

Ok. ExH moved out 20 months ago. And since then ive been paying the £1100 pm mortgage. Yes hes given me child maintenance but hasnt contributed towards the mortgage at all. He lives miles away now and pays virtually nothing in rent.

We are getting divorced and the house has been on the market a year with no luck and has now reduced 40k in value. However he wont actually allow me to reduce the price of the house?! Hence it's not selling.

Mean while hes still entitled to 50% of the equity when its sold! So although hes giving me child maintenance i feel that im pretty much a savings account for him as hes going to be getting his money back! If that makes sense.

My solicitor said id have to get permission to move out and rent somewhere cheaper.

But i dont see why i cant just move out too and leave the house empty? That way we would both have to pay for the mortgage. Or at least come to an agreement about the price? Or even let the courts take it? But then id probably never get a mortgage if i suddenly stop paying! I feel totally trapped in a house im scraping by to afford to live here.

I know it sounds drastic for me to consider this but am i being unreasonable? And any advice would be great

Well yes, it is sexist to suggest a female Solicitor. However, with 50% of marriages breaking down, and with the fact that in most marriages, the woman takes a back seat career wise, to raise children, you can bet your bottom dollar, that there are thousands of male Solicitors, who have had their Pensions hacked by spouses, and are fucking livid. So yeah, I trusted a female to draw up my separation agreement, and she gave me far better advice than a male who I'd had a free appt with.

You really do need a shit hot lawyer. All lawyers are NOT the same. It will save you many £1000's.

A family court will distribute assets fairly. You may not get his pension but you may get to keep a much higher percentage of the house to compensate. There are so many variables. Family court is definitely the way to go to get it fairly divided and quickly settled.

Don't fear it. It's there to protect the children's best interests.

Wow. Im shocked by all the responses.

Firstly yes i did sacrifice my career. I gave up work in 2005 to have and care for our children.

Secondly. I am already on my sexond solicitor within the same company. The first (male) said i shouldnt touch his pension as it wasnt mine and i was only to take the equity. The second (female) was a bit tougher. She said lets split everything, as the house may devalue (as it has).

However she keeps me hanging on. She doesnt reply to me for weeks on end. I just get the impression shes not bothered.

Thirdly. I have spoken ro the halifax and they have said i can have a 2 month break but then if i dont pay it back, they will put me in arrears?! Ffs?! (So dont see the point). They wont let me remortgage as i dont earn enough money. Yet they are aware he isnt paying and are happy for me to pay singularly?!

I do feel very trapped at the moment.

Def take the 2 month break.

I would also write to your ex and his solicitor stating that you can no longer afford the mortgage payments and the house is at risk of repossession and that there will be no/less equity for him then.

Offer for him to move in and you move out...

You def need a SHL - sh*t hot lawyer to cut through his crap

Could you rent the house out for more than the mortgage and rent somewhere cheaper. You could make some money. I hope I am not repeating. Haven’t read whole thread.

Posted on first page. You can get a consent to let from your mortgage company. For up to 18 months.

My friends divorce has just gone through, she got 70% of the house, half his pension, half of shares he had half savings and the amount she paid on the mortgage after he left was safe.
Get yourself a better solicitor.

And not another one within the same firm.

popsicle- I feel sorry for your friend’s ex!

You can get a consent to let from your mortgage company. For up to 18 months.

And her Ex would be entitled to 50% of the income from that.

OK you really do need a better solicitor! The first one telling you not to touch his pension needs a kick up the arse. The second one is making more of the right noises but you need someone to fight your corner and it doesn't sound like she is.

Male or female - it doesn't matter. You need someone who will let you cry when you need to, give you a tissue and tell you to blow your nose and dry your eyes and let them deal with it. And then they'll go for the jugular and get the best possible settlement for you.

This is not the time to be fair, or nice, or reasonable. All of those things only work if BOTH parties are willing to work with each other. But your Ex isn't - he's sailed off into the sunset and is quite happy to see you and the kids financially shafted.

Everything you fight for means future financial security for you and your children. It means a roof over your head, the ability to pay your bills and have a reasonable standard of living, to have something put by for your retirement. And if getting those things means retaining a rottweiler lawyer then darling, you need to start looking for someone with a nasty bite who's gonna go to bat for you.

Omg thankyou so much. I honestly cant say how greatful i am for all the replies. This morning i was feeling quite deflated and defeated over the whole thing but tomorrow i will be on the phone to them trying to sort this out.

Popsicle. Do you know which solicitor she used?