AIBU to think that my ex's girlfriends are actually hired actresses?

[bitterex]

I am divorced from my ex-H for a couple of years and we have two young children together. On paper he shares custody with me almost equally, in reality he travels the world and has contact with them on average once a quarter for a couple of hours - sometimes more, sometimes less.
Every time he sees them he brings a new girlfriend around. I am a bit stressed (we have a long history of custody litigation and the divorce itself was very hostile, so I am uneasy around him), but try to be nice and have a pleasant chat. Today was "the day", and another new lady came with him to collect the children. She seemed nice enough, but what puzzles me is that the following scenario repeats over and over, with minor variations.
All of them are much younger than him (like 20 - 25 years younger), model-league attractive, successful, seem to be very much in love with him (I'd say even theatrically in love, but then I am the bitter ex), and he proudly introduces them as "Meet X/Y/Z, the one and only love of my life". With the current girlfriend, they've been together for three weeks, met on a holiday in August, and she said, giggling nervously, that "they are trying to start a family", and that she would love to be a stepmother to my "gorgeous" children (whom she's seen for the first time today for 10 minutes so far).

I am not jealous of my ex (well, I am very, very jealous of his lifestyle but not his relationships). I've seen four girlfriends (four and a half, if a skype session with another one can be counted as "half"), and the next time I mention their name casually in a month or two during our regular call (e.g. "how's X's sick dog / Was Y's art exhibition a success / etc") he seems to be lost as to whom I am speaking about.
I described number four above. Number three was with him for a couple of weeks, they met through work, clicked together and were already planning a wedding. Number two was asking for my advice on what to get his family / extended family for Christmas (and they could not have been together for more than three weeks at that point, as number one was introduced to me exactly three weeks prior). Number two accompanied ex on the next visit (after Christmas) as well, brought expensive presents for DCs, and that's it - I've never heard about her since. Wanted to send her a thank you card next week, and was told by ex to forget about it, she's no longer in the picture.

AIBU to think they could be hired actresses (but what could be the motive?) Or is there an endless supply of gorgeous gullible young women somewhere, ready to start a family with / marry a man they've just met? My ex is not a celebrity, and not wealthy (relatively well-off though), uber-attractive or famous. Or am I actually jealous and need to get a life myself?

At 4 and 6 the DC will soon start making inappropriate comments that embarrass him: "Where's Julie?" "Don't you like Anna any more?" "Will you be coming next time or will Daddy have a new one of you?" "Why don't any ladies want to stay going out with you daddy?" "Where do you put the old ones daddy?"

• your

*"Where do you put the old ones daddy"
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bahahaha

No matter how 'high class', escorts and sugar babies are often, in my experience at least, very vulnerable people. He's a bastard for booking them, in my view.
Totally agree with this.
I am asking for the collective validation because I am doubting my judgment when it comes to my ex. He was never abusive or outwardly controlling, but at the end of our relationship I was doubting my sanity almost daily. Like - he went away for a month without any prior warning, then came back and insisted that it was for two days only and it was a business trip, and I am mad to invent and insinuate things like that, and have to seek therapy. The residence proceedings were the absolute worst of that, I had to write down the correct version of historical events and re-read every time I dealt with the case. I know it sounds idiotic, but I am still feeling aftershocks.

"Where do you put the old ones daddy?"

Thank you for making me laugh. The previous "girlfriend experience" was more than 6 months ago (and there was no direct contact in between), so I thought we're done now. I try to take it in a light-hearted way, but feel a little bit dead inside.

His lifestyle isn't something you should feel jealous of. A string of shallow short relationships and hardly seeing his children.

I would push for the custody arrangements to be formally changed, if he did actually decide to have the children 50% of the time, the children would feel very unsettled if they had to suddenly spend half of their time with a man who they can't actually know very well at all.

When you say that "on paper" you share custody equally but in reality he sees them infrequently, how is the child maintenance calculated?

As AnnieAnoniMoose said you really should keep a journal of the contact he has.

Ofcourse this can be a photo journal

I would push for the custody arrangements to be formally changed, if he did actually decide to have the children 50% of the time, the children would feel very unsettled if they had to suddenly spend half of their time with a man who they can't actually know very well at all.
I am preparing for this. Last time I asked (after 3 months of no contact), the judge thought it is too soon to change the order, and wanted to see how it develops.

When you say that "on paper" you share custody equally but in reality he sees them infrequently, how is the child maintenance calculated?
There is no CM officially, as he is not employed, living off rental income from his inherited house + his own flat, and not tax resident in the UK. He contributes voluntarily, but it is not much.

This so sounds like a friend of mine who I lost touch with! You aren’t in Norfolk are you?

Every time I saw him he’d have another new young gorgeous squeeze, of either sex, who was ‘the one’. His children just rolled their eyes and were polite to each one...

Is he rich or does he pretend that he is rich? Or is he very good looking?

Take a photo and do a photo search online!

... or is that too creepy?

I was actually thinking he sounds like a serial love bomber.

The best part is OP he is likely paying them or using some other method of making them think he's very wealthy/will treat them etc and Despite that NOT ONE HAS DONE IT TWICE from what I can tell.

Please have some respect for the acting profession and do not refer to them as actresses. Escorts most likely.

OP should insist on any contact from the exH being by himself in future.

You aren’t in Norfolk are you?
No, Kent :)

Is he rich or does he pretend that he is rich? Or is he very good looking?
He is not rich, but very flashy / showy, and does lead an unusual lifestyle suggesting of certain eccentricity (like chartering a small clipper boat in the Mediterranean out of season for a couple of months, or moving into a beach hut in Thailand, things like that). His income is around £3K a month, which does buy a lot outside of the UK.

Reasonably good looking / fit, but not an oil painting.

Please have some respect for the acting profession and do not refer to them as actresses. Escorts most likely.
No, absolutely did not mean to offend. If they are actresses, I must say they are probably very talented, as they seemed genuine enough. It is the gap in age / income / looks that puzzles me. They were all extremely well kitted out, new expensive clothes / red soles / designer handbags, and had that air of someone who spends 50% of their time in spas and another 50% in a boardroom.

The enthusiastic photo-taking of each one is inspired!

You need to make friends with them OP.

Next time this scenario happens, say something like: "how lovely to meet you, as you're going to be in my children's lives from now on why don't we get to know each other as friends, how about lunch/coffee just the two of us - what's your mobile number?"

then wait and see how they both react.

It’s unlikely to be escorts - a gorgeous, British, well educated woman would cost a fucking fortune. An actress would be a hell of a lot more affordable.

If he is flashy and showy perhaps these women dump him when they learn that he’s not as rich as he acts?

I think that's fairly classic of narcissistic people. They can sweep potential partners off their feet with grand gestures and promises but are totally incapable of maintaining the relationships long term.

Your playing this wrong, you are not meant to like them and get attached, it’s probably messing with your ex’s head!

I think the OP is in fact playing it brilliantly, by asking cheerfully after the last one each time she sees the ex and asking for their addresses so the children can write thank you cards to them.

I don't agree that they have to be actresses or hired, though. A quick skim of the Mn Relationships forum suggests that there are well-groomed young women who are vulnerable/gullible enough to be planning futures with complete idiots within about a second of meeting them, especially if he's reasonably presentable, solvent, apparently a 'free spirit' and love-bombs like a pro.

I'd be thinking less about how he finds these lovely young things, and more about why there seem to be new ones all the time. Perhaps they discover that he just bums about and has two small children he never sees?

I agree with @Grumiosmum. I'd be 20 questioning them about themselves - where they grew up, what they do, siblings etc. Act super friendly and invite them out for coffee to get to know each other. Then watch for a reaction.

Defo escorts to stop him from looking like a lonely twat.