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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not tell him this information

68 replies

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 10:20

So sitting watching something on TV with my DP of 2 years last night and he randomly commented on something which lead to the question "Have you had a bigger penis than mine".. I said I refuse to answer because it's not something I want to discuss.. he gets pissed off.. then asks me how many guys I've slept with again i refuse to answer as I don't want to talk about it with him and it's not relevant to our relationship.. now he's left saying that if I can kept stuff from him and cant be honest then we shouldn't be together..

AIBU to not want to discuss this?

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 08/09/2018 10:21

YANBU and he sounds ridiculous.

DuckAndPancakes · 08/09/2018 10:22

It really shouldn’t matter.

YANBU to not want to discuss your previous sex life.

Thehop · 08/09/2018 10:22

Ignore him

Sulky prannock

MrsMozart · 08/09/2018 10:23

What?!

Is he usually as potty as that?

HollowTalk · 08/09/2018 10:24

He sounds like he's still at school.

Would you then be expected to discuss his ex-girlfriends' bodies with him?

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 08/09/2018 10:28

now he's left saying that if I can kept stuff from him and cant be honest then we shouldn't be together

Next time he says this call his bluff, nod slowly and say "Yes, you're absolutely right" and wait to see where he goes next. My hope is that he'd cop onto what a bellend he sounds and shut up with the nonsense and insecurity.

You don't have to tolerate being spoken to rudely. You don't have to be in a relationship with someone who manipulates you or attempts to coerce you into conversations you find uncomfortable.

RightyHoChaps · 08/09/2018 10:29

How old is he? 12? That would be like me asking my partner if he's been with someone with a tighter vagina than me...

Don't ask questions if you don't want to know the answers.

Mind you, you could spin it nicely... yes, I've been with bigger dicks but that doesn't really mean alot. Knowing how to please a woman has nothing to do with dick size.

On the other hand his reaction would really piss me off and I wouldn't tell him for that very reason. Grow the fuck up lad.

Rebecca36 · 08/09/2018 10:31

Stupid way for him to talk. He needs to build on his confidence and not take the lack of it out on you. I'd find that so irksome I'd ditch him.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 08/09/2018 10:36

YANBU. If you want to keep it private, you should. Why is he insecure now? Also, he realises you could lie, right? (Not saying that you are a liar).

DP and I were honest when we started out because we both have ex lovers in our friendship groups and have a couple of things we'd rather have told each other than had come up as banter. But we don't know everything- and that's how it should be.

KM99 · 08/09/2018 10:42

Massive big red flag. You aren't his possession, you aren't some commodity that has been passed on from previous "owners" and he wants to assess your condition.

Stamp that shit out. He's being a chauvinistic, immature and an insecure idiot like he's trying to piss on his territory.

Maybe a little advice to him that the best lovers you've had were the ones secure in their ability, respectful to your body and sexuality and who treated you like an equal in and out of the bedroom.

trojanpony · 08/09/2018 10:50

cant be honest then we shouldn't be together..

Confused WTAF?

I’d tell him you agree, he shouldn’t have to tolerate this emotional abuse. And because you care for him so much you agree to break up.

I cannot imagine being with someone that did this - they sound like a 16 year old

SpottingTheZebras · 08/09/2018 10:52

Is he a teenager?

mangowango · 08/09/2018 10:53

I've been with my partner 7 years and we've never discussed previous sexual partners. It's not something either of us need to know.

LilianL · 08/09/2018 10:55

Men are such fucking idiots. What if you had had a bigger penis? You're not with the big dick are you [haha]

Juells · 08/09/2018 10:56

Mind you, you could spin it nicely... yes, I've been with bigger dicks but that doesn't really mean alot.

Or just - yes, all the men I've slept with previously had bigger penises than you 😁

Frogscotch7 · 08/09/2018 10:56

I’d like to know my partner’s history and if they didn’t want to tell me I’d feel weird about it. Not necessarily whose dick was biggest, but at least how many partners. If you feel differently it doesn’t mean either of you is unreasonable. I seem to be in the minority though.

Ginmakesitallok · 08/09/2018 10:57

Or alternatively, you're the biggest dick I've been with

BlueSuffragette · 08/09/2018 10:59

He's being stupid.

madeoficecream · 08/09/2018 11:01

YANBU

Ive shared all of that information with my husband and he with me. I dont think there is anything about anything in my life I havent told him. But then we were both fine with and interested in talking about that. It was important to both of us to be open about everything.

If you dont want to talk about it that is perfectly valid. Its your past and you dont owe anyone at all any info about it if you dont want to tell them.

Original poster
Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 11:03

I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable.. has being a knob.. if he asked me really early on in the relationship I prob would have answered but it's not relevant two years on and I know how insecure he is.. but he sees it as me not being honest.. it's batshit crazy.. I think he should respect that I feel uncomfortable talking about it and should leave it be. It doesn't directly affect our relationship.. well it shouldn't!

OP posts:
iklboo · 08/09/2018 11:07

'Have you had a bigger penis than mine'?

'Yes, but the surgery went well and you'd never know, would you?'

Juells · 08/09/2018 11:09

😂

Agentornika · 08/09/2018 11:12

Why frogscotch what does it matter what went on before you got together? I've never had that conversation with my current DP or any before him

ReanimatedSGB · 08/09/2018 11:13

Tell him that if he doesn't stop behaving like a sulky teenager he's dumped. And make sure you have a plan for ending the relationship ie where you will live, how you will support yourself. And don't have kids with him.
A man who regards women as property is a man who will escalate to abuse, sooner or later. This one, by the sound of it, is already pushing you to obey and disclose everything to him, which isn't good.

lovetherisingsun · 08/09/2018 11:19

What??? I can't believe his attitude! How old is he? now he's left saying that if I can kept stuff from him and cant be honest then we shouldn't be together

Who the fuck does he think he is? OP, this behaviour is very, very worrying. You have absolutely nothing to explain to him about. And, no, you are absolutely not being unreasonable to want to discuss it! Seriously, this is very, very weird behaviour from him.